# Bastard shit eating maggot touching ass mask shit shit monster head fuck stapler **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095 "2000-08-20T23:10:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/41 "2000-08-24T21:07:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > \*\*I like the suggestion posted here already, put football and other sports strictly on their own channel and not on regular networks. That would be infinately better for everyone. \*\* There’s ESPN for that, and ESPN2 and ECN and ESPNNEWS. However, more Americans, I think, watch the sports than don’t, else they wouldn’t be on. And for those of us who don’t get cable, the only sports we see if we’re not playing is what’s on basic cable. ---
**Author:** ![filthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@filthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filthy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/42 "2000-08-24T21:38:05Z")
Football, HAH!! Like watching paint dry. Gimmie the WWF over the Super Bowl, anytime. At least they got a story going. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/43 "2000-08-24T22:30:55Z")
I loathe football, no, really, LOATHE. I have a theory that it is proof that Amerikan society is in decay. Where shall I start… First of all, if you’re going to have a game with the word ‘ball’ right in the name, go get a real ball I say. Next, let’s talk about a sport where they actually practise by banging their necks into metal posts, so as to build them up so there is no visible neck. Here’s how it goes; 15 seconds of play followed by 15 mins of setting up again for 15 seconds of play. Until someone gets hurt, that will cause a 35 minute delay, and is certain to occur. Nothing is slower than football time. And since most of the injuries can be directly related to the space age material the equipment is now made from, and since the whole point is clearly to injure someone, I say lose all of the equipment and let them have at it. Now you got a game. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/44 "2000-08-24T23:07:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Sili, I’m trusting in you to develop a head-jack that broadcasts straight into the back of my eyelids. It’ll plug into my ear with a cable running into the back of my neck. … > > You have two weeks. Don’t let me down. Dear Homer, You have a better chance of seeing the Devil on Ice Skates than seeing the day when I can invent anything this intricate! Sili # PS - I can, however, call my friends at the Fox Network, and see about getting that broadcast schedule fixed. 😉 filthy, > [@](#): > > . I don’t need to listen to Madden to inspire me to drink beer. Anyone who can drink beer for no good reason, has a good reason to be alive. Pleased ta meetcha. Sili ---
**Author:** ![steeljaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@steeljaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steeljaw)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/45 "2000-08-24T23:10:48Z")
oh my god, i’ve finally found somebody who shares my passion for fox’s sunday night lineup so much that they would actually wish rape on a national sporting organization. you’re potty mouth leads me to believe that you are a man. otherwise i would ask you to marry me. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/46 "2000-08-24T23:14:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elbows \* > \*\*Here’s how it goes; 15 seconds of play followed by 15 mins of setting up again for 15 seconds of play. Until someone gets hurt, that will cause a 35 minute delay, and is certain to occur. Nothing is slower than football time. > \*\* Wrong, my friend. Baseball is slower. 30 seconds of prepping for 3 seconds of pitching/ maybe a ball is hit. In football you’re struggling if it takes you 15 seconds to set up for the next play. ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/47 "2000-08-25T00:05:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > > \*\*I like the suggestion posted here already, put football and other sports strictly on their own channel and not on regular networks. That would be infinately better for everyone. \*\* > > There’s ESPN for that, and ESPN2 and ECN and ESPNNEWS. > > However, more Americans, I think, watch the sports than don’t, else they wouldn’t be on. > > And for those of us who don’t get cable, the only sports we see if we’re not playing is what’s on basic cable. \*\* Ok, specifically in the DC area, the shows that Homer was talking about are on FOX…they still show football…they are NOT a sports network…this is my point. Yes there are sports only on ESPN, HTS, and the like. My point is that they sports should ONLY BE SHOWN ON THOSE STATIONS, NOT ON REGULAR ONES :mad: Ok, better now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/48 "2000-08-25T00:22:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > \*\*Ok, specifically in the DC area, the shows that Homer was talking about are on FOX…they still show football…they are NOT a sports network…this is my point. Yes there are sports only on ESPN, HTS, and the like. My point is that they sports should ONLY BE SHOWN ON THOSE STATIONS, NOT ON REGULAR ONES :mad: > Ok, better now 🙂 \*\* OESGal, I live in DC, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. FOX, ABC, etc claim to be family networks, last I checked. They try to deal out a balanced schedule of shows, from what I can tell. Among this balance is sports. You don’t have it every day. If you have a problem with it, don’t watch the station:) ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/49 "2000-08-25T02:03:45Z")
I thought you were mad at a stapler. I got frustrated with a three-hole punch once and tossed it across the office, but I’ve never had any trouble with staplers. Where’s the smiley with the puzzled look? I need it. As for football, we got a satellite dish so we could see more Vikings games. Seems the networks think all midwesterners are Bears or Packer fans. Nuh uh. ---
**Author:** ![DominicSayers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@DominicSayers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DominicSayers)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/50 "2000-08-25T15:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homer \* > Goddamn shit fuck ass monkey dildo bastard ass **huggy shove** tit fuck fuck shit ass damnit saggy beaver flap boobs whore. Huggy shove? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/51 "2000-08-25T17:06:29Z")
“Huggy Shove”: A martial arts maneuver popularized by famed seventies snitch/pimp Huggy Bear wherein an aggressor is subdued by a flying 7 inch platform heel slung from a feather boa. ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/52 "2000-08-25T17:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > > \*\*Ok, specifically in the DC area, the shows that Homer was talking about are on FOX…they still show football…they are NOT a sports network…this is my point. Yes there are sports only on ESPN, HTS, and the like. My point is that they sports should ONLY BE SHOWN ON THOSE STATIONS, NOT ON REGULAR ONES :mad: > > Ok, better now 🙂 \*\* > > OESGal, I live in DC, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. > > FOX, ABC, etc claim to be family networks, last I checked. They try to deal out a balanced schedule of shows, from what I can tell. Among this balance is sports. You don’t have it every day. > > If you have a problem with it, don’t watch the station:) \*\* Ok, I know you live in DC, but actually I haven’t had that problem for a while since I don’t really watch TV anymore:p Now I go to school in TN…don’t have time to watch much TV, so that solves my preempting problems actually:D ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/53 "2000-08-25T18:56:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > \*\*Ok, I know you live in DC, but actually I haven’t had that problem for a while since I don’t really watch TV anymore:p > Now I go to school in TN…don’t have time to watch much TV, so that solves my preempting problems actually:D \*\* 1. No comment. 2. There you go again, putting that D in your mouth. My question is this: what’re you doing with a p in your mouth now? Maybe this is something you and D need to discuss? 3. See 2^ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095.md?page=2)