# Bathroom as the great equalizer
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 25, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519 "2015-09-25T21:45:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@pianodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pianodave)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/1 "2015-09-25T21:45:56Z")
Hi SD,
With the recent arrival of the Pope in the US, it got me thinking about world leaders and bathrooms.
Obviously, there’s a privacy and security issue involved. But it must be difficult to maintain the illusion of decorum and propriety when everyone, world leaders included, has to go the bathroom or attend to other natural needs.
What happens in the case of world leaders? Do they have attendants who watch them go or guard the door? Is there a team in charge of making sure their personal needs are never public knowledge? I just find it interesting that with all these people getting up in age, you never hear about them having to go to the bathroom. You would think someone in the inner circle would have some amusing anecdotes about this topic.
Similarly, has anyone ever gotten caught trying to rub one out on state business? I don’t include the Bill Clinton example because that was intercourse, and, arguably, less embarrassing than just trying to jerk off in private. Are world leaders/celebrities who have security details and bodyguards allowed to say, “I’ll be in my bunk, don’t bother me for about an hour.” ? Barack Obama can’t say, “Get me YouPorn and don’t come knocking for 20 mins.”
My goal is to try and assure myself that world leaders/celebrities are human beings like the rest of us. With the cults of personality surrounding these people, it would be very depressing indeed if they lost what it is that makes us all the same (i.e. vulgar humor, sexual urges.)
I have no idea where this question came from. It’s just that, I imagine the Pope or the President sitting in the bathroom and I think “How can they take themselves seriously when they’re in the bathroom?” How does the Pope reconcile his “spiritual power and influence” with the very basic needs of evacuation? It should make any normal person humble. I don’t know. How does he take himself seriously when he breaks wind like the rest of us? Like, in one remote corner of his mind, he must still be that little boy who never grew up. I hope if I ever get that famous, I never lose my ability to laugh at the strange humor life provides in such abundance.
I have no idea where this question should go, but any answers would be enlightening.
Thanks,
Dave
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### Author:  [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/2 "2015-09-25T21:57:20Z")
I have it on good authority that the Pope shits in the woods.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/3 "2015-09-25T21:58:23Z")
I feel in my bowels that this question will do better in IMHO than in GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/4 "2015-09-25T22:02:54Z")
> [@Procrustus](#):
>
> I have it on good authority that the Pope shits in the woods.
And, interestingly, most bears are Catholic.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/5 "2015-09-25T22:09:10Z")
> [@Procrustus](#):
>
> I have it on good authority that the Pope shits in the woods.
Since as a young man he was into camping and hiking, John Paul II certainly did at times.
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### Author:  [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/6 "2015-09-25T22:21:09Z")
I was just speculating yesterday that he must have some sort of apparatus hidden under his whatever-you-call-it that he wears.
But I can tell you that 30-odd years ago, when I was living in San Francisco, Queen Elizabeth visited the city, and made a brief appearance at Golden Gate Park. For the occasion, they built a special bathroom in the park for her, complete with a heated toilet seat, so the royal bum would not be chilled.
I wasn’t paying close attention, so I don’t know if they tore it down afterwards, so that it could never be used by the riffraff.
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### Author:  [@I.Dunno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.Dunno)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/7 "2015-09-25T22:22:53Z")
> [@Colibri](#):
>
> Since as a young man he was into camping and hiking, John Paul II certainly did at times.
So THAT’S where the term Holy Shit comes from! I learn so much on The Dope.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/8 "2015-09-25T22:37:21Z")
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pope wears adult diapers. He can barely walk in those fucking robes, let alone hoist them up for bodily functions. I await a pope that wears sweatpants; that’s a guy I could respect.
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### Author:  [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/9 "2015-09-25T22:42:34Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#):
>
> I was just speculating yesterday that he must have some sort of apparatus hidden under his whatever-you-call-it that he wears.
>
> But I can tell you that 30-odd years ago, when I was living in San Francisco, Queen Elizabeth visited the city, and made a brief appearance at Golden Gate Park. For the occasion, they built a special bathroom in the park for her, complete with a heated toilet seat, so the royal bum would not be chilled.
Apparently they did the same thing for Pope Francis in [Ecuador](http://time.com/3946774/pope-francis-ecuador-toilet/#3946774/pope-francis-ecuador-toilet/).
But it sounds like the best [papal bathroom](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/welltraveled/features/2011/vatican_inside_the_secret_city/vatican_guide_the_pope_s_pornographic_bathroom.html) is the secret one in the Vatican that is painted with pornographic images by Raphael. No one actually uses it as a bathroom, and Pope Francis doesn’t even live in the papal apartments. But if he really wanted to, he could have his own personal pornographic bathroom.
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### Author:  [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/10 "2015-09-25T22:44:33Z")
My guess is that they have bathrooms scoped out and inspected along the route, should nature call.
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### Author:  [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/11 "2015-09-25T22:50:38Z")
You may want to read about the [Groom of the Stool](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool).
The short version is that yes, even the king needs to shit, and had a special assistant to manage the proceedings. The position evolved into a highly respected and powerful one, since the assistant was necessarily rather “intimate” with the king.
I don’t know if there was an official Observer of Bishop Polishing.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/12 "2015-09-25T23:07:46Z")
[Lyndon Johnson](http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/08/20/lyndon-johnson-held-meetings-on-the-toilet/) famously used to intimidate people by having meetings in the bathroom while urinating or even sitting on the toilet.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/13 "2015-09-25T23:18:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pope wears adult diapers. He can barely walk in those fucking robes, let alone hoist them up for bodily functions. I await a pope that wears sweatpants; that’s a guy I could respect.
I will bet you that under the direction of JPII, those robes have hidden quick-access zippers. He can probably be down to skivvies in less than 10 seconds.
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### Author:  [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/14 "2015-09-25T23:46:29Z")
> [@Colibri](#):
>
> [Lyndon Johnson](http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/08/20/lyndon-johnson-held-meetings-on-the-toilet/) famously used to intimidate people by having meetings in the bathroom while urinating or even sitting on the toilet.
According to biographer Robert Dallek, he also whipped out his, er, johnson, for public display:
[QUOTE=Times Higher Education review of Dallek’s book]
On one occasion, some reporters asked Johnson in an off-the-record gathering to explain America’s participation in Vietnam. There was no satisfactory answer to that question in LBJ’s brain, so he unzipped, revealed his not-so private member, and stated: “This is why!”
[/QUOTE]
I can’t find an attestation, but I read once that he pulled out “lil’ Lyndon” for some Asian journalists at a conference in Thailand, and said “I betcha don’t grow 'em this big over here!”
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### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/15 "2015-09-26T00:13:09Z")
To answer the serious part of the question, Presidents and other powerful people like the Pope have completely private time away from their security details (not always much but a closed door can work wonders). Their accommodations are screened in advance and the potential points of entry are protected but they don’t have bodyguards hovering over them at all times. The President and his family have a semi-normal residence within the White House with their own kitchen and everything else where they do things that all families do. The same is true when they travel because everything has been carefully pre-screened. The scary men in suits with guns are for public display. They get more distant security that focuses on the larger picture when they are in more private settings.
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### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/16 "2015-09-26T01:09:22Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> I await a pope that wears sweatpants; that’s a guy I could respect.
[Close enough](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/sites/default/files/assets/sharptonsweatsuit15.jpg)?
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### Author:  [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/17 "2015-09-26T05:04:40Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> To answer the serious part of the question, Presidents and other powerful people like the Pope have completely private time away from their security details (not always much but a closed door can work wonders). Their accommodations are screened in advance and the potential points of entry are protected but they don’t have bodyguards hovering over them at all times. The President and his family have a semi-normal residence within the White House with their own kitchen and everything else where they do things that all families do. The same is true when they travel because everything has been carefully pre-screened. The scary men in suits with guns are for public display. They get more distant security that focuses on the larger picture when they are in more private settings.
Not totally. I read once where Bill Clinton was playing golf and suddenly had to go. They were near this ladys house and the secret service knocked on the door and asked if the president could use her bathroom. she said yes. Afterwards she had to toilet seat bronzed and mounted.
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### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/18 "2015-09-26T10:48:57Z")
I remember reading that when John Paul II visited the UK, the code for a toilet break was ‘washing hands’.
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### Author:  [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/19 "2015-09-26T10:52:54Z")
> [@Quartz](#):
>
> I remember reading that when John Paul II visited the UK, the code for a toilet break was ‘washing hands’.
Well, here in the manly US, it’s “powdering my nose.”
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### Author:  [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-as-the-great-equalizer/732519/20 "2015-09-26T13:52:57Z")
Funnily enough, on a British-based message board which I frequent, there is a thread active at present, on very much the same theme as this one here. It’s titled “The Queen And Poo”.
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