# Bathroom Etiquette: Is this rude? Or what?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 14, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669 "2002-12-14T01:58:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Broodha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broodha)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/1 "2002-12-14T01:58:17Z")
Is this rude or am I a prude?
Here’s the situation:
I go into the bathroom of my library at school. I am there to make use of the urinal. Just as I unzip my fly, an acquaintance (we know each others’ names but do not converse), walks in. Please know that he is a generally polite and even quiet person. This is why I was particularly struck by his behaviour.
First questionable move: There are three urinals. I am currently using the urinal on the far right. Upon seeing me, he moves directly to the MIDDLE urinal. Doesn’t this break some sort of secret code?
Second questionable move: Not only does he greet me as he’s preparing to drain himself, but he turns to look me square in the eye and engages me in chit chat. Um…doesn’t this cross the line?
Third questionable move: As he’s using the urinal and talking to me, he rips a long, loud, extended fart. Is it me or is he having trouble deciding whether this is a private space or social space?
Final questionable move: He then proceeds to refer explicitly to said fart: “Sorry 'bout that but I guess that’s what these rooms are for”. How do I respond to that one?
What say you on these 4 moves?
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/2 "2002-12-14T02:21:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Broodha \*
> **First questionable move: There are three urinals. I am currently using the urinal on the far right. Upon seeing me, he moves directly to the MIDDLE urinal. Doesn’t this break some sort of secret code?**
Yes, yes it does.
> [@](#):
>
> **Second questionable move: Not only does he greet me as he’s preparing to drain himself, but he turns to look me square in the eye and engages me in chit chat. Um…doesn’t this cross the line?**
Yes, yes it does.
> [@](#):
>
> **Third questionable move: As he’s using the urinal and talking to me, he rips a long, loud, extended fart. Is it me or is he having trouble deciding whether this is a private space or social space?**
That’s pretty funny.
> [@](#):
>
> **Final questionable move: He then proceeds to refer explicitly to said fart: “Sorry 'bout that but I guess that’s what these rooms are for”. How do I respond to that one?**
If you were any kind of man you would congratulate him on his accomplishment. The lack of etiquette in today’s society is truly distressing.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/3 "2002-12-14T02:23:16Z")
1. Not a big deal
2. Personally I hate this, but not a big deal.
3. I would have started cracking up.
4. “You should go see a doctor”
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### Author:  [@Broodha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broodha)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/4 "2002-12-14T02:30:09Z")
It honestly didn’t scar me for life. I mean, it’s not really a big deal at all, just slightly amusing. I was struck though, because it is not the kind of experience you have all the time…
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### Author:  [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/5 "2002-12-14T02:36:34Z")
That was a breach of urinal etiquette. To brush up, see this site.
[http://www.youfunny.com/funpages/f-48.htm](http://www.youfunny.com/funpages/f-48.htm)
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/6 "2002-12-14T02:47:49Z")
Just be glad that he looked you “square in the eye.”
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### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/7 "2002-12-14T03:05:15Z")
My take is that the first two are unforgivable social errors. I’d worry about this chap. The second to are wholly acceptable and should at least be tolerated, if not celebrated.
Wasn’t there a animated flash game based on that urinal ettiquette on here at one point?
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### Author:  [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/8 "2002-12-14T03:21:06Z")
I’ve never understood why urinals are out in the open instead of walled off into nice little stalls where no one can violate your peeing space like that. Makes me glad I’m a woman.
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/9 "2002-12-14T03:36:49Z")
It’s worse than you imagine…sometimes it’s just a giant trough along the wall! Not even seperate urinals.
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### Author:  [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/10 "2002-12-14T03:37:48Z")
It’s not you!
Imho, he seems like the type who is very uncomfortable in public bathrooms, and his behavior is his way of handling it. Sort of like a person who laughs when they hear bad news.
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### Author:  [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/11 "2002-12-14T03:42:52Z")
It may be customary among members of his tribe. I’ve known of others (not me!) to grunt, sigh, fart out loud, make comments, whistle, etc., while peeing. Amy Vanderbilt would disapprove but it’s pretty common. As long as he doesn’t bring it up again later I wouldn’t worry.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/12 "2002-12-14T03:48:51Z")
Ever read Asimov’s novels with R. Daneel Olivaw? In them, everyone lives underground and the public restrooms are the only place anyone can get any privacy. Talking in the “privates” in a social faux pax of the highest order.
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/13 "2002-12-14T04:43:27Z")
Frankly, I don’t understand what the big deal is, especially with him looking you in the eye. Where else would you want someone looking while talking to you, especially when you’ve both got you pants open? Personally, I’d find it disturbing for someone to look at my crotch while speaking to me, but even more disturbing for them to be looking at their own crotch, or studiously looking at the wall. Especially the wall thing, since that would give me the feeling that they’re trying really hard _not_ to stare at my crotch.
The middle urinal thing may be a little odd, but it’s way better to fart in the bathroom than in a more public area. And really, did you expect him to just studiously ignore it, or try to blame it on someone else, or something? Far better for him to apologize for subjecting to his farts.
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### Author:  [@Swinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swinger)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/14 "2002-12-14T05:12:12Z")
I agree that 1 and 2 are serious breaches of “the code”.
3 is pretty nasty and 4 is just weird, but they pale in comparison to 1 and 2.
My advice: find a different library so as to avoid this situation in the future. 😉
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/15 "2002-12-14T05:56:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by you with the face \*
> \*\*I’ve never understood why urinals are out in the open instead of walled off into nice little stalls where no one can violate your peeing space like that. Makes me glad I’m a woman. \*\*
I’m glad about the ladies rooms too 🙂 If _I_ were designing a men’s room, I wouldn’t do away with them entirely since guys say they’re quicker to use, but I’d bolt partitions between the urinals. Urinal Blinders sound like a more comfortable peeing experience for the poor guys.
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### Author:  [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/16 "2002-12-14T11:51:20Z")
Uhhm, if you can’t fart in a bathroom, where _can_ you fart?
CJ
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/17 "2002-12-14T13:17:32Z")
This sounds like a much cruder Seinfeld episode.
And just like in Seinfeld, though I think it reasonable you acknowledge this behaviour as not to your own standards, it certainly isn’t anything to be concerned about - he just has a different level of social graces than you.
Maybe he was brought up in a family of five brothers or something.
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### Author:  [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/18 "2002-12-14T14:48:19Z")
No, no, no, and you don’t.
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### Author:  [@Alexxandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alexxandra)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/19 "2002-12-14T15:20:16Z")
There are urinals that are just a trough along the wall?
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-is-this-rude-or-what/142669/20 "2002-12-14T15:34:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Alexxandra \*
> \*\*There are urinals that are just a trough along the wall? \*\*
Yup. A big long 20 foot stainless steel trough. Those are rare, though, usually only available at high traffic areas like football games and such.
And, to be fair, urinal partitions are not infrequent. Many bathrooms have them.
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