# Bathroom etiquette memo re: Paper seat protectors **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 7, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306 "2001-08-07T16:23:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/21 "2001-08-07T22:22:20Z")
**TurboDog** , don’t you realize it’s the same bit of plastic being reused? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/22 "2001-08-07T22:31:15Z")
Great. I suppose now you are gonna tell me that my ass rash really isn’t just from my pants chafing me?!? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/23 "2001-08-07T22:44:00Z")
\ Sorry about the bad links. I was really trying to get it right. Thanks, Olentzero, for fixing things. Great user name, BTW. Have you got any flack for being a puppet yet? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/24 "2001-08-08T00:50:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apricot \* > **You know, if you leave the little tongue from the middle attached, it hangs in the water while you go. Then, when you flush, it goes down automatically** This is exactly what I do… you mean other people rip off the center part entirely? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/25 "2001-08-08T00:54:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Turbo Dog \* > \*\*Coolest thing I’d seen in a long time was at the O’Hare airport. As I approached the throne, I noticed that there was a large black box on the back of it. When I got up to it, I noticed that there was a plastic wrap type tube encasing the seat. Then, apparently like the flush sensor, it detected me and it automatically pulled the tube along the seat, leaving a fresh, sanitary seat covering for me to sit on. \*\* I saw one of those at another airport recently, but it wasn’t in Chicago. I, too, thought it was the greatest thing in the history of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/26 "2001-08-08T01:51:16Z")
On the assgasket dispenser here at work, someone has written “Free Cowboy Hats! Take One!!” It’s stupid and juvenile, I know, but I’ve been laughing at that image for weeks now. And speaking as a budding microbiologist, generally a toilet seat is going to be just about the cleanest surface in a bathroom, precisely because people are so paranoid. You want to protect yourself, open the door with a paper towel. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/27 "2001-08-08T03:21:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*I’m more of a hovercraft girl myself - I always thought those seat protector things were stupid. > > Its amazing how strong and developed ones thigh muscles can become after years of public washroom hovering. > > Al. \*\* Oh… oh… oh… here it comes… SIT ON THE GODDAMN **SEAT** YOU BITCH!!! You are a WOMAN. A woman can NOT AIM. If you sat on the goddamned seat we wouldn’t need to use the fucking ASSGASKETS because if you SIT you don’t DRIBBLE on the seat! If you THINK you can “hovercraft” your way to a hygenic piss you are only fooling yourself - you sure as hell aren’t fooling the poor gal following you who sits in your waste products, with or without protective assgasket. See previous thread/rant on piss dribblers! (sorry, haven’t figured out out to link yet - it’s a thread I started) The only thing WORSE than a used assgasket is a pissy toilet seat! ---
**Author:** ![bniles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@bniles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bniles)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/28 "2001-08-08T11:52:26Z")
I agree, nothing worse than a used ‘assgasket’ is a pissy toilet seat. Who cares how who pisses in the bathroom, all I have to say is if you’re gonna play ‘hovercraft’ in the bathroom turn around when you’re done, make sure you didn’t leave any drips, if you did, WIPE EM UP and then go wash your hands! If everyone would take the time to make sure they didn’t leave a mess we’d all be happy. 🙂 I’ve been using public bathrooms AND sitting on the seat all my life and haven’t caught anything. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/29 "2001-08-08T12:28:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > **ASSGASKET!** > > Learn it. Know it. Live it. \*\* Live assgasket? ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/30 "2001-08-08T16:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by spooje_ > **Live assgasket?** You have much to learn, neophyte. Go to the corner and get yourself a cowboy hat from the dispenser. The meditation begins shortly. Meanwhile, an enlightened [homily](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990416.html) from The Master on this very subject, and what you can [do](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msoapwater.html) about it. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/31 "2001-08-08T16:18:28Z")
My sister and I had a heated discussion about hovering in a casino bathroom once- quite a scene, I must say. I no longer hover. 🙂 It is now my life mission to write “Free Cowboy hats” on each and every ass-gasket dispenser I see. To make it easier, I think I’ll just print up labels. I think that it would bring more laughter to the world then one person could imagine. Zette ---
**Author:** ![nerv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/85e7bf/32.png) [@nerv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nerv)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/32 "2001-08-08T16:39:32Z")
What I really hate is sitting on the seat while it is still warm from the previous occupant. No matter how much you wipe it down, it still feels “dirty”. By the way, the eternal nervpartner would wholeheartedly agree with me if I said I was not a hygiene freak. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/33 "2001-08-08T16:48:15Z")
1. Do people actually USE those things? I thought they were like parsley garnishes – something that appeared to be functional, but was tyhere for looks only. I have never seen or heard evidence of people actually using these things. 2. I’m not sure they’d help. Most people seem to be either pretty neat, or else absolute slobs in the public bathroom, and these things wouldn’t be much help in either case. Last weekend we stopped at a restaurant on the road. The restrooms were of the one-toilet-only variety. The men’s room toilet was COVERED with urine. I cleaned it off before I used it. Several minutes later, Pepper Mill went to use the ladies’ room – but there was already a line. She went into the men’s room out of necessity – and found the seat covered in urine AGAIN. Some guys are uinrepentant slobs. 3. “Assgasket” is a wonderful, appropriate word. But there’s no way I would ever use it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/34 "2001-08-08T17:00:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Broomstick \* > \*\*SIT ON THE GODDAMN SEAT YOU BITCH!!! \*\* Kiss My Ass You Slimey Cunt Muscle. 🙂 I’ll hover if I want to hover. Al. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/35 "2001-08-08T17:34:34Z")
It ain’t the dribbling. It’s the splashing. You could have the best aim in the world, but that won’t keep the water already there from splashing up on the seat. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/36 "2001-08-08T18:36:01Z")
Well, my day is complete. The world is indeed a richer place thanks to the following gems: AssGasket Free Cowboy Hats and Jesus Horse-Fucking Christ ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/37 "2001-08-09T10:11:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > I’ll hover if I want to hover. So… let me get this straight… you WANT to be a skanky, unhygienic piss-spraying bitch? Well, hon, maybe you think your ass is too good for a toilet seat, but your head isn’t too good for a swirly. Which you deserve. Who the hell are you to make a fucking mess of piss in the can and leave it for others to deal with? That’s just plain disgusting and juvenile. I had better manners at the age of 4, and if you’re a big enough girl to post on the SDMB you’re sure as hell big enough to use the plumbing properly. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/38 "2001-08-09T11:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Broomstick \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > > I’ll hover if I want to hover. > > So… let me get this straight… you WANT to be a skanky, unhygienic piss-spraying bitch? > > Well, hon, maybe you think your ass is too good for a toilet seat, but your head isn’t too good for a swirly. Which you deserve. Who the hell are you to make a fucking mess of piss in the can and leave it for others to deal with? That’s just plain disgusting and juvenile. I had better manners at the age of 4, and if you’re a big enough girl to post on the SDMB you’re sure as hell big enough to use the plumbing properly. \*\* Clarification please. Do you have something against **all** hoverers on principle _or_ just those hoverers who don’t wipe the seat after they’ve sprinkled it? Because if it is just on principle, then you better take that broomstick out of your ass as I can see no reason how the way someone chooses to take a piss is anyone’s god damn business. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/39 "2001-08-09T11:21:43Z")
Do you really think that when you wipe the seat you are getting every last bit of urine? You are simply replacing the drops and splatters with a thin sheen of your excretions. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306/40 "2001-08-09T12:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*Do you really think that when you wipe the seat you are getting every last bit of urine? You are simply replacing the drops and splatters with a thin sheen of your excretions. \*\* Give me a fucking break! I guarantee you would not even know if drops and splatters had been wiped up previous to your ass touching the seat. If you do know, then it isn’t really being wiped up so much as it is being spread around. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-etiquette-memo-re-paper-seat-protectors/75306.md?page=3)