# Bathroom Graffitti's Greatest Hits! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 1, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717 "2005-07-01T16:51:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/41 "2005-07-03T02:32:38Z")
At the Pita Pit in downtown Boise: “We were somewhere outside Boise when the drugs began to take hold…” ---
**Author:** ![li\_l\_Dickie\_Dirtz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@li\_l\_Dickie\_Dirtz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/li_l_Dickie_Dirtz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/42 "2005-07-03T02:38:54Z")
My favorite, first seen at The Showdown on the Drag, No matter how good looking she is, some guy somewhere is sick of her shit ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/43 "2005-07-03T12:35:12Z")
In Kelly’s in Kansas City MO “I feel more like I do now, than I did when I got here.” ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/44 "2005-07-03T14:07:15Z")
One I saw at the UNM library: She offered her honor He honored her offer And all night long It was on her and off her. ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/45 "2005-07-03T14:58:03Z")
Apparently a Melbourne Uni toilet door has written at the very bottom (just above the gap between the door and the floor): “Beware of gay limbodancers.” ~ Isaac ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/46 "2005-07-03T15:15:07Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > Jim Hightower mentions in one of his books a message written over the hand blow dryer in a Texas bar: “Press here for a message from Senator Phil Gramm.” Very funny. I’m in TN and need to make stickers like that for dumbass Bill Frist and start spreading them around. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/47 "2005-07-03T15:24:08Z")
I’ve done a lotta traveling and always enjoy the graffiti . Here’s a memorable one. I fucked her standing, I fucked her lieing , and if I could have I’d fucked her flying. Now she’s gone but not forgotten because I dug her up and I fucked her rotten. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/48 "2005-07-03T16:09:19Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > Very funny. I’m in TN and need to make stickers like that for dumbass Bill Frist and start spreading them around. Dude, let’s do it. Fuckin’ aye. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/49 "2005-07-03T18:37:30Z")
My personal favorite, under all the I LOVE JOE and KA+TB=TLF!!! : “Give your guy a little class Don’t write his name where you wipe your ass” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/50 "2005-07-03T18:57:32Z")
Back at Columbia U., we all had to take two semesters of political philosophy (course title: Contemporary Civilization). In Hamilton Hall, where I had the first semester of that class, right abvove the urinal were the words: “A Piss Is a Catehorical Imperative.” - Kant ---
**Author:** ![bradministrator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@bradministrator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bradministrator)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/51 "2005-07-03T20:08:59Z")
Above the truck stop condom machine: **Don’t buy this gum it tastes like rubber** ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/52 "2005-07-03T20:49:51Z")
Jesus saves. Moses invests. or: Jesus saves… and clears to the corner. Gretzky picks up the rebound. Centers to Messier standing in the crease. He Shoots…HE SCORES!!! AND OF COURSE: Be back soon. Wait for me. Godot ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/53 "2005-07-04T02:37:09Z")
At my college, on the door at about eye height as you are sitting: > [@](#): > > You are sitting on an American Standard toilet At the pub in Sacramento where I played open stage a few times, there was a whole series of “grout” jokes–written on the grout, of course. “Try the burgers, they’re GROUT!” and “The Grout Gatsby” and my personal favorite “Hockey great, Wayne Groutsky.” Sadly, they’ve now been scrubbed out. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/54 "2005-07-04T02:40:50Z")
I was sitting on a toilet at Santa Monica Airport. In front of me, on the door, someone wrote: ‘If you look down, you’ll see the same view a Stuka pilot would see when he’s bombing Kansas.’ I looked down at the floor tile. Sure enough, it looked like farm fields. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/55 "2005-07-04T04:09:03Z")
From a Port-A-John: “Here I sit, tired and dirty Hiding out until 3:30” ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/56 "2005-07-04T05:13:25Z")
At the NY Botanical Garden: Karl Marx’s grave is a communist plot. ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/57 "2005-07-04T05:17:32Z")
Forgot this one: Claimed to be college bathroom grafitti by Stan Mack (Stan Mack’s Real Life Funnies, a cartoon that appeared for years in _The Village Voice_): To be is to do. - Descartes To do is to be. - Sartre Do be do be do. - Sinatra ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/58 "2005-07-04T06:25:39Z")
[Boingboing had an article last week about a site with a large collection of 18th century toilet wall graffiti](http://www.boingboing.net/2005/06/26/toiletwall_graffiti_.html). ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/59 "2005-07-04T16:20:46Z")
In a similar fashion but not seen in a bathroom “There is no God” -Nietzsche “There is no Nietzsche” -God ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/60 "2005-07-04T18:03:21Z")
[From the walls of Pompeii.](http://www.orbilat.com/Languages/Latin_Vulgar/Texts/Pompeii_Graffiti.html) [More from Pompeii.](http://college.hmco.com/history/west/perry/western_civilization/6e/students/primary/pompeii.htm) Enjoy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717.md?page=4)