# Bathroom Graffitti's Greatest Hits! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 1, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717 "2005-07-01T16:51:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/61 "2005-07-04T20:49:14Z")
“If Batman is so fuckin’ smart, why does he wear his undies outside his suit?” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/62 "2005-07-04T21:26:00Z")
Here I sit On the pooper Giving birth To a new State Trooper. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/63 "2005-07-04T22:50:47Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > Dude, let’s do it. Fuckin’ aye. Ya know it would be so easy and I’m betting it would make the local news if we got a lot of people in on it. Good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/64 "2005-07-05T10:31:24Z")
> [@Pythian Habenero](#): > > The classic, spotted by someone and remembered forever by me: > ------ **THE** > **END IS^NEAR** I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/65 "2005-07-05T10:38:10Z")
I think it was meant to say “The end is near”, but the author left out “the.” Someone tried to be smarmy and correct it, yet put the “the” in the wrong place. It should have been: The ^end is near. Or… it could be that I don’t get it, either. ---
**Author:** ![Pythian\_Habenero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a6a055/32.png) [@Pythian\_Habenero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pythian_Habenero)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/66 "2005-07-05T16:42:51Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > I think it was meant to say “The end is near”, but the author left out “the.” Someone tried to be smarmy and correct it, yet put the “the” in the wrong place. > > It should have been: > > The > ^end is near. > > Or… it could be that I don’t get it, either. The true issue is that I failed to recall the piece correctly. It was worse. Note that in the original this was all written by the same person: **-------END** **THE IS^NEAR** ---
**Author:** ![SafyreSchool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@SafyreSchool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SafyreSchool)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/67 "2005-07-13T17:54:32Z")
“Nixon Now!” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/68 "2005-07-14T18:40:57Z")
Writer 1: **Don’t write on this wall** Writer 2: _ **Don’t type on it either** _ Writer 1: **I wanna fuck grils** Writer 2: _ **it’s girls, not grils** _ Writer 3: **What’s wrong with us grils?** ---
**Author:** ![N.Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f19dbf/32.png) [@N.Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N.Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/69 "2005-07-14T22:15:56Z")
Oscar Wilde was prematurely gay. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/70 "2005-07-15T02:35:54Z")
Sign in a downtown shop window, during the Nixon impeachment flurry: “Dick Nixon before he dicks us” Sign over a bar urinal: “We aim to please You aim too, please” ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/71 "2005-07-15T11:00:48Z")
“John Is Gay” a little below that, “He Is Not” a little below that “I Am, Too!” ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/72 "2005-07-15T12:28:13Z")
My all-time favorite is written directly on the seat of the toilet in the women’s room at a bar in Brooklyn. Around the top of the seat, there’s a drawing of the Revolutionary War navy flag snake, with the text: “Don’t pee on me” ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/73 "2005-07-15T16:20:22Z")
At my old university library, in all three women’s loos and with big black marker: Bloody Hell. Tampax Woman Strikes Again. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/74 "2005-07-15T19:01:03Z")
Next to a urinal with the logo of Crane Plumbing: “You stand on one leg in the middle of a bog” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/75 "2005-07-21T18:34:03Z")
Please don’t throw cigarette butts in the urinals. We don’t come to your house and piss in the ashtrays. –The Janitors ---
**Author:** ![hawkeyejo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@hawkeyejo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawkeyejo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/76 "2005-07-21T18:59:44Z")
**Look Down - Your Future Is In Your Hands** ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/77 "2005-07-21T23:05:14Z")
Those who read the shithouse walls roll their shit in little balls. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/78 "2005-07-21T23:15:58Z")
> [@silver1](#): > > Those who read the shithouse walls > roll their shit in little balls. > > 😃 And those who read those words of wit, EAT those little balls of shit! ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717/79 "2005-07-22T03:07:26Z")
Jesus Variation: Jesus Saves But Esposito scores on the rebound * * * There once was a man from Madras Who’s balls were made out of brass He’d bang them together Amid stormy weather And lightning shot out of his ass. * * * I spied the Doo be doo be doo and Nietche/God quotes in College [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-graffittis-greatest-hits/310717.md?page=3)