# Bathroom reading out of control **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234 "2001-01-09T22:27:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/1 "2001-01-09T22:27:10Z")
I’m one of those people who enjoys flipping through a magazine while I am… indisposed. Lately, however, it has really gotten out of hand. With subscriptions to _Newsweek_ and _Entertainment Weekly_, the latest issues usually find their way into the bathroom within a day or two of arrival. I am way behind now! I guess I don’t spend enough time in there, because I haven’t even gotten past the letters to the editor this week. There are back issues piling up that I have barely glanced at, and my bowels are empty. Empty, I tell you!! For a while I just started standing around in the bathroom to try and catch up on my reading, but now I can’t even step into the bathroom without reading a little blurb from the magazines. We bought this new little cabinet thing that stands over the toilet. It really did organize things in there, but one of the unforeseen effects was that the rather wide window sill has been cleared of all bathroom objects. Turns out that this windowsill is the perfect height to set a magazine on so that I can read while taking a leak – standing up! I read a bit while brushing my teeth. I read a little bit while I’m waiting for the shower to warm up in the morning. I read just before changing the cat’s litter box. I tried to clean the shower drain out, but instead I just ended up reading. I think I have a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/2 "2001-01-09T22:35:58Z")
eerrrrmmmmnn… ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/3 "2001-01-09T22:44:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ReservoirDog \* > \*\* > I think I have a problem. \*\* I’m thinkin … yup. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/4 "2001-01-09T23:24:03Z")
Okay, what you need to do here is prioritize. Make a list and either throw out the least important mags, or put them in the guest room. I know whenever I’m a guest in someone’s house, I always look forward to spending the evening with two years’ worth of _Newsweek_. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/5 "2001-01-10T01:22:00Z")
I think this is a job for Milossarian. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/6 "2001-01-10T01:35:14Z")
I’m thinking you need to get yourself some copies of **Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader** if you like reading whil you do your business. Check out their site… [http://www.bathroomreader.com](http://www.bathroomreader.com) ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/7 "2001-01-10T01:49:18Z")
you must learn to enjoy long baths. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/8 "2001-01-10T01:57:20Z")
ReservoirDog, meet my husband. Husband, meet… Oops. Sorry, Res. Huaband isn’t here. He’s indisposed. Again. With this month’s copy of _Guitar Player._ That he’s read 187 times already. In the bathroom. Sigh. I’m beginning to think he’s not actually reading in there. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/9 "2001-01-10T02:00:47Z")
You obviously need to start eating more, and eating constipating foods. Try a high protein, low-fat diet. Also, buy really cheap toilet paper. That way, you’ll have to take more time ‘cleaning up’. If you’re lucky, you’ll give yourself a hemorrhoid from straining, requiring even more time spent doing peri-care. Be sure you get a padded seat, and be sure it’s a good quality one – the cheap ones have a hard, uneven ring around the inside of the seat that becomes noticeable after several hours. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/10 "2001-01-10T02:12:58Z")
you must learn to enjoy long baths. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/11 "2001-01-10T02:29:59Z")
I always read in the bathroom. It’s normal. What else am I gonna do? Think about it? ---
**Author:** ![Davidbw1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7993a0/32.png) [@Davidbw1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davidbw1)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/12 "2001-01-10T02:41:21Z")
I read in the bathroom, In fact i read anywhere, whenever i can, not magazines, but long novels, as a result, i go throught them faster then i go through toilet paper (i know that that’s a bad analogy)…because of this, people think that i’m a genious, regretfully, this is not true ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/13 "2001-01-10T04:26:29Z")
Hmmm. Sounds like you either need to take a speed-reading course, or eat more fiber. (Now, how many other situations would require that kind of advice?) ---
**Author:** ![Maragold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Maragold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maragold)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/14 "2001-01-10T04:52:57Z")
You ain’t out of control unless it’s the only toilet. Nothing worse than making others contemplate the sink or the back yard for relief. All the erudition in the world will not save you if the missus or junior is cross-legged in the hall whilst you peruse Britney’s birthday or dot-com best-bets. Really, now. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/15 "2001-01-10T13:29:19Z")
Newsweek’s news is always 2 weeks old by the time you get the mag. Discontinue the sub. You should keep the Entertainment Weekly sub because it’s bathroom-level content. You really don’t want to get your high-level content while your commodifying (how’s that for a new word?). Also maybe if you changed your diet (cheese pizza every night) you’d be in there long enough to finish the articles. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/16 "2001-01-10T15:23:38Z")
You have to be careful with those Entertainment Weekly’s. My best friend used to take 20 minutes in the washroom, and then walk out slowly reading on of my EW’s. Her trips to the washroom shortened by about 19 minutes and 30 seconds when my subscription ran out. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/17 "2001-01-10T15:47:37Z")
I’ve made this comment before in other threads about bathroom reading and I’ll throw it out there again: DON’T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYPLACE THAT YOU CAN READ THAT’S MORE COMFORTABLE, HAS BETTER LIGHTING, AND DOESN’T SMELL QUITE SO PUNGENT? I have never understood the use of the bathroom as a library. As a guy, I know that I’m in the minority here, but there has to be a better place to read. Go in, do your thing, and get out. That’s my motto regarding the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/18 "2001-01-10T16:09:18Z")
I’ve always believed 3 things should not be rushed: 1. Enjoyment of a fine meal 2. Making love to a beautiful woman 3. A good shit. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/19 "2001-01-10T20:19:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ReservoirDog \* > \*\*There are back issues piling up that I have barely glanced at, and my bowels are empty. Empty, I tell you!! > \*\* Time to subscribe to the Reader’s Digest. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234/20 "2001-01-10T21:51:23Z")
I’m with **lurkernomore,** philosophically speaking of course. I have my **own** bathroom, thank you. We have a little roll-around cart in the bathroom with four little basket/drawers containing extra toilet paper, etc. The top basket contains reading material for those of us who like to take time to…contemplate. Right now, I have a book by Russel Baker in there. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-reading-out-of-control/49234.md?page=2)