# Bathroom Tissue, WTF is that? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 31, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160 "2001-08-31T18:06:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/21 "2012-12-29T01:12:20Z")
Hey. speak for yourself! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/22 "2012-12-29T01:16:11Z")
I can see it now. _Use Scott’s Asswipe – it’s not your father’s Sears catalog!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/23 "2012-12-29T01:41:46Z")
> [@The\_Ceej](#): > > It’s a liability paranoia, I’m sure. > > Companies are extremely ironically paranoid of lawsuits. I say, “ironically” because this paranoia causes 99% of lawsuits against companies, but I digress. > > In their mind, toilet paper is something that gets thrown around people’s houses as a prank. So, by changing what they call it, they think they’re creating a defence, “Well, that was toilet paper, but we don’t sell toilet paper.” > > Companies and governments are stupid, so they think changing the name of something changes what it is. They think they can turn murder into protection, theft into taxation, rudeness into customer service, etc. just by calling it what they want it to be. > > I’m sorry. It doesn’t work that way. Bathroom tissue doesn’t exist, and calling toilet paper that does nothing but expose your idiocy. I refuse to buy toilet paper that’s labelled as “bathroom tissue.” My logic is this: If they don’t even know what it’s called, how could they possibly know how to make it with even the tiniest amount of quality? And I’m sure everyone in 2001 has returned to the thread and is happy to find your truth. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ceej](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Ceej](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ceej)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/24 "2012-12-29T02:05:11Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > And I’m sure everyone in 2001 has returned to the thread and is happy to find your truth. 😉 You’d think this problem would have been solved by now. It’s been nearly twelve years. But, alas, it’s just as relevant as it was when the thread was created. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/25 "2012-12-29T02:53:37Z")
> [@willrolt](#): > > Manufacturers do seem to shy away from explicit reference to the purpose of toilet paper. And yet we all know what the Charmin bears are referring to! > [@](#): > > Others seem to include “conveniences”, “cloakrooms”, “bathrooms” (interestingly with no bath in sight), “lavatories”, and “comfort stations”. > > Why the euphamisms? Is this a British phenomenon? No it’s definitely not limited to Britain. Some years ago an American member posted to ask about a cross country move with a cat, and mentioned they didn’t want the cat _using the bathroom_ while they were **in the car**. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/26 "2012-12-29T02:57:06Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > There’s no choice. English (either side of the pond) _has no proper word for the room with the toilet in it._ It is unique (as far as I know) in that the only terms we have for it are indirect and euphemistic; even slang is all off-target. I have heard that it’s the same in most languages but can’t vouch for it. Actually, all words for the porcelain throne itself are also euphemistic, including toilet, commode, pot, water closet/W.C., etc. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/27 "2012-12-29T02:58:42Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Now, this isn’t like the Kleenex issue, where the common name is trademarked AFAIK. Yes “Kleenex” is a trademark for a specific brand of what generically is known as “facial tissue.” ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/28 "2012-12-29T03:40:21Z")
“Shitter” (as the place to go) describes it very well but is not socially acceptable. “Bath tissue” pretends we only need to blow our noses or remove makeup. Maybe toilet _paper_ harks back to a step up from leaves and corn cobs; the Sears & Roebuck wish catalogue lasted all year long. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/29 "2012-12-29T04:02:39Z")
Actually, we called it The Wish Book. And began by tearing out the pages of stuff we _didn’t_ want.\* It interested me in a book about Medieval times in England that there was a road called Shit Street, next to the River Thames. Apparently right before you crossed the Bridge. (Convenient.) A public restroom of sorts. You went in, plopped down on a holed out plank and let 'er fly into the water. The English, for all their upper-crust rigamarole, are often very straight forward, sensible and informative. But they later changed the name of the street. \*I have never wiped my butt on a corn cob but have smeared many a printed page. Mark Twain would be proud. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/30 "2012-12-29T04:23:57Z")
> [@willrolt](#): > > Manufacturers do seem to shy away from explicit reference to the purpose of toilet paper. > > Many department stores, railway stations etc. seem to be equally averse to the word “toilet” itself. Harrods has “luxury washrooms” (A quid a time to use, but to come out to find an attendant with towel draped over arm…) Dingles has a “ladies’ powder room” (a reference to cocaine?) and a “gentlemens’ rest room”. > > Others seem to include “conveniences”, “cloakrooms”, “bathrooms” (interestingly with no bath in sight), “lavatories”, and “comfort stations”. > > Why the euphamisms? Is this a British phenomenon? USian, too. In fact, my mother has taken to referring to the fixture in question as “the euphemism”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/31 "2012-12-29T05:36:21Z")
“Cloakroom”?!! That’s not just euphemistic; that’s dangerously-misleading. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/32 "2012-12-29T07:59:16Z")
Let’s compromise and call it toilet tissue. Or bathroom paper. Also, I’m going to start referring to it as the cloakroom. That’s just too good to pass up. When guests are over at my house and ask where the bathroom is I’ll say, “The \*\*\*cloakroom \*\*\*is down the hall, first door on your right,” with the appropriate snootiness. ---
**Author:** ![codgerone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@codgerone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/codgerone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/33 "2012-12-29T16:30:38Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > It interested me in a book about Medieval times in England that there was a road called Shit Street, next to the River Thames. Apparently right before you crossed the Bridge. (Convenient.) A public restroom of sorts. You went in, plopped down on a holed out plank and let 'er fly into the water. The English, for all their upper-crust rigamarole, are often very straight forward, sensible and informative. But they later changed the name of the street. Yeah it’s called Downing Street these days. There also used to be a London street called Gropecunt Lane. I think that got changed too. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/34 "2012-12-29T19:09:01Z")
> [@Stella\_Fantasia](#): > > …While we’re on the subject of freakishly euphemistic usages, WTF is up with those maxi pad commercials where they pour BLUE STUFF on the pad to show how absorbent it is? All I can think of when they do that is, man, if something BLUE shows up on my pad, the first thing I think about isn’t going to be how absorbent it is. > [@magdalene](#): > > …but they had a huge problem getting the networks to agree to the color red in a commercial about menstrual products. **Family Guy** had a gag about this. For some reason (“Truth-in-advertising” law gotten stricter) the companies started airing the same commercials, but with red liquid. Cue the Griffins shock & horror & Stewie’s disgust. We didn’t actually see the commercial. It’s funnier that way. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/35 "2012-12-29T19:29:14Z")
As head of House Inexplicable, I now decree that all sanitary facilities (whether actually sanitary at the present moment or not) are now to be called ‘cloakrooms’. The former downstairs closets where travel cloaks are now stored will now be called ‘comfort stations’. If this works out, I may well rename the dining room, ‘kitchen’, the kitchen will then be called the living room, and the living room will finally be designated as the dining room. If I label the walls, do you think my guests will understand? ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/36 "2012-12-29T20:48:17Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > Actually, we called it The Wish Book. And began by tearing out the pages of stuff we _didn’t_ want.\* > > \*I have never wiped my butt on a corn cob but have smeared many a printed page. Mark Twain would be proud. My mother said the corset pages were the softest! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/37 "2012-12-29T21:02:37Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Actually, all words for the porcelain throne itself are also euphemistic, including toilet, commode, pot, water closet/W.C., etc. I go with “shittah,” preferably spoken with a heavy Maine/Vermont accent. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/38 "2012-12-29T22:17:49Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#): > > We used spare **Sanitary Towels** for cleaning the blackboard in our orifice. How did you get a blackboard up there? (I know, I know, the thread’s 11 years old. I couldn’t resist.) ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/39 "2012-12-29T22:43:46Z")
I know this is an ancient thread but the topic is evergreen (or everbrown or everellow.) 😃 George Carlin had a beautiful piece on [del]toilet paper[/del] bathroom tissue. I couldn’t find a recording but here’s [him talking about it](http://www.scribd.com/doc/2525803/George-Carlin-On-Language). RIP, George Carlin. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160/40 "2012-12-29T23:22:13Z")
> [@Stella\_Fantasia](#): > > While we’re on the subject of freakishly euphemistic usages, WTF is up with those maxi pad commercials where they pour BLUE STUFF on the pad to show how absorbent it is? All I can think of when they do that is, man, if something BLUE shows up on my pad, the first thing I think about isn’t going to be how absorbent it is. While we’re answering decade-plus-old queries: it’s specifically _because_ there’s no bodily fluid that’s blue. It’s a visual euphemism. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-tissue-wtf-is-that/79160.md?page=3)