# Bathroom walls - the ultimate message board? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 21, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246 "2014-11-21T14:54:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/1 "2014-11-21T14:54:52Z")
I found [this](http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/11/behind-the-writing-on-the-stalls/383016/) great article on bathroom wall writing. Some quotes: “Well sung of Yore, a Bard of Wit/That some Folks read, but all Folks shit/But now the Case is alter’d quite/Since all who come to Boghouse write.” from 1731. Going back earlier to Roman times: “If you aim at getting your name into verse, seek, I advise you, some sot of a poet from some dark den, who writes, with coarse charcoal and crumbling chalk, verses which people read as they ease themselves.” 3 categories of bathroom writing: Tourist graffiti (“John wuz here”), inner-city graffiti (like tagging and street art), and toilet graffiti (or “latrinalia” as it’s sometimes called in academic literature). Differences in what men and women write on bathroom walls: Nicholas Matthews, a PhD candidate at Indiana University, was the lead author on a 2012 study that analyzed toilet graffiti in nine bars in a Midwestern town. He and his fellow researchers found that the most common type of graffiti was “presence-identifying” (just scrawling your name, for example), but men were identifying their presence more than women. Women, on the other hand, wrote more insults. Matthews explains this using evolutionary psychology, saying that boosting oneself up is a typical male mating strategy, whereas putting other women down is a classic female gambit. Their is alot more in the article. Anyways I’d like to ask, What is the funniest or most interesting thing you have ever seen on a bathroom wall? For me it was “They paint these walls to hide my pen but the shithouse poet, strikes again!” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/2 "2014-11-21T16:41:27Z")
In my architecture school bathroom: ACROPOLIS NOW! The old standard: Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/3 "2014-11-21T16:58:11Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > In my architecture school bathroom: ACROPOLIS NOW! > > The old standard: Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. The more poignant version, from the days when you often had to pay to enter toilet stalls: _Here I sit broken hearted. Paid my dime but only farted._ ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/4 "2014-11-21T17:45:10Z")
In a bathroom off the Trans Canada highway in BC: “Here I sit, asshole hurtin’ I just gave birth to another Albertan” Despite being an Albertan, I couldn’t help but lol. Have spent nearly 20 years trying to come up with a better one against people from BC, to no avail. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/5 "2014-11-21T19:05:41Z")
On the condom dispenser at a local club: For refund, please insert baby in slot below. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/6 "2014-11-21T19:10:21Z")
\*He who writes on bathroom walls, Rolls his shit in little balls. He who reads these words of wit Eats those little balls of shit. As I sit in this cloud of vapor, Cursing the bastard who took the paper, I have no time to wait or linger. Look out, asshole. Here comes my finger!\* ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/7 "2014-11-21T19:12:57Z")
From The Chukker in Tuscaloosa, AL: Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/8 "2014-11-21T19:28:18Z")
If you sprinkle When you tinkle, Please be neat And wipe the seat. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/9 "2014-11-21T19:33:17Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > The more poignant version, from the days when you often had to pay to enter toilet stalls: > > _Here I sit broken hearted. Paid my dime but only farted._ Yesterday I took a chance. Saved a dime and crapped my pants. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/10 "2014-11-21T19:58:49Z")
“We aim to please. You aim too, please.” My fave, from a university restroom. Seated on the toilet, I noticed something written along the very bottom of the (closed) stall door. Tiny little print, I had to lean WAY forward to read it. “You are now shitting at a 63 degree angle.” Or whatever the correct number would be, I don’t remember, was laughing too hard. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/11 "2014-11-21T20:06:04Z")
> [@mmmiiikkkeee](#): > > “Here I sit, > asshole hurtin’ > I just gave birth > to another Albertan” In San Diego I once saw it as “Here I sit, cheeks a flexin’ giving birth to another Texan” I’ve also seen the assgasket dispenser labelled “Free Cowboy Hats.” For the record, I don’t know why anybody in San Diego would have anything against Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/12 "2014-11-21T20:50:54Z")
I worked in the advertising department of a newspaper, and at one point we moved to a different part of the building that had previously been occupied by one of the news departments. There wasn’t anything on the stall walls, but there were a few things written over the urinals (typical 4" ceramic tiles with grout). Most of them were non-sexual and non-scatological. Here are my favorites: What a bunch of squares Billboards for the narrow-minded (written vertically) Grout Fishing in America ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/13 "2014-11-21T21:37:06Z")
“(name of supervisor) is so nasty, he has to sneak up on his own dick to take a piss.” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/14 "2014-11-21T21:39:18Z")
The Great Debates and the BBQ Pit walls are the most entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Abracadebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abracadebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abracadebra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/15 "2014-11-21T21:55:17Z")
At Taco Mac here in Atlanta: “My mother made me a lesbian” Underneath, someone had written: “If I bought the fabric, would she make me one, too?” ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/16 "2014-11-21T21:55:59Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > My fave, from a university restroom. > Seated on the toilet, I noticed something written along the very bottom of the (closed) stall door. Tiny little print, I had to lean WAY forward to read it. > > “You are now shitting at a 63 degree angle.” That reminds me. One stall long ago had an arrow pointing to the bottom of the stall door, and the words “beware of gay limbo dancers”. Twelve-year-old me found it amusing enough that I still remember it. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/17 "2014-11-22T00:59:06Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I worked in the advertising department of a newspaper, and at one point we moved to a different part of the building that had previously been occupied by one of the news departments. There wasn’t anything on the stall walls, but there were a few things written over the urinals (typical 4" ceramic tiles with grout). Most of them were non-sexual and non-scatological. Here are my favorites: > > What a bunch of squares > Billboards for the narrow-minded (written vertically) > Grout Fishing in America We don’t pee in your ashtray, so please don’t throw your cigarette butts in our urinals. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/18 "2014-11-22T01:06:22Z")
Common ones: In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren’t invented, they laid their load upon the road and walked away contented! “To be is to do”—Socrates. “To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre. “Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra. And like message boards, people like to aggressively correct spelling and grammar. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/19 "2014-11-22T01:48:56Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Common ones: > In days of old when knights were bold > and toilets weren’t invented, > they laid their load upon the road > and walked away contented! In days of old when knights were bold and paper not invented, they’d wipe their ass with bits of grass which left them freshly scented In days of old when knights were bold And rubbers weren’t invented, They stuck their cocks in woolen socks, And that’s how babies were prevented. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2014, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246/20 "2014-11-22T05:48:10Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > “We aim to please. > You aim too, please.” Slightly better version, put as a question: “We aim to please. Will you aim too, please?” Also seen on wall above urinal: Why is semen white and pee yellow? So you can tell if you’re coming or going. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > For me it was “They paint these walls to hide my pen but the shithouse poet, strikes again!” Repaint, sinner! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bathroom-walls-the-ultimate-message-board/705246.md?page=2)