# Batman versus McGuyver
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 22, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210 "2004-12-22T20:36:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/1 "2004-12-22T20:36:01Z")
_points to thread title_
Well? What would happen? (Other than, say, the universe collapsing because I’ve just triggered the Ultimate Paradox. 😃 )
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/2 "2004-12-22T20:38:30Z")
Sooner or later they’d exhaust their brilliantly conceived weapons and get down to hand to hand combat.
Batman.
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### Author:  [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/3 "2004-12-22T20:38:53Z")
Oh, I dunno. McGyver would have duct-taped Batman? Or, they’d both be on the same side? I’m sorry, I have no imagination with this.
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### Author:  [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/4 "2004-12-22T20:54:16Z")
If Batman’s prepared?
Still McGuyver.
Now, if we throw in Ripped-Shirt Kirk in a three way stand off (like Good, Bad and Ugly) -
My money would still be on Mac.
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### Author:  [@Phatlewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phatlewt)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/5 "2004-12-22T21:43:41Z")
You must be joking.
Batman. Easily. McGuyver is good at what he does, but he only faced incompetent opposition. The Dark Knight would never fall for his silly parlour tricks.
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### Author:  [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/6 "2004-12-22T22:27:18Z")
If it is in the comics…
They would each have tricks which would give them the edge for a moment, only to have the other come up with something better then Batman would realize they should work together and team up against Joker and whoever MacGuyver goes up against (never watched the show)
If on TV…
same thing, only MacGuyver realizes they should team up together
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### Author:  [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/7 "2004-12-22T22:43:47Z")
That’s a total mismatch. Batman’s a superhero; he’d eat MacGuyver for lunch. What you want is MacGuyver vs. Jim Rockford. That would be a good contest.
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/8 "2004-12-22T23:06:06Z")
Bruce Wayne would hire MacGuyver on the spot to be Batman’s gadgeteer. 😃
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### Author:  [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/9 "2004-12-22T23:58:32Z")
McGuyver’s the best at what he does. And what he does is improvising weapons and ways out of death traps. Those are things that Batman excels at too, but MacGuyver’s got him beat in those departments hands down.
Unfortunately, Batman’s got Mac beat in fighting, stealth, and tactics. Sorry Mac, all the homemade explosives in the world won’t save you against that combo.
Now, a Batman/MacGuyver team… Hoo boy! Even the Earth-1 Superman would quake in their presence. The world’s greatest tactician and someone who can make anything out of anything else. Da-yam!
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### Author:  [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/10 "2004-12-23T00:40:18Z")
Macguyver likes hockey and is mentioned frequently on The Simpsons.
Batman hangs out with young boys in speedos
Macguyver wins by a TKO
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### Author:  [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/11 "2004-12-23T00:50:44Z")
macgyver is how angus spelled his last name.
utility belt vs utility knife… i think knife wins.
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### Author:  [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/12 "2004-12-23T00:58:12Z")
Mr. T would kick both their asses, buy his milk and wash his van.
MacGuyver and Batman are just fools to be pitied. Never mess with a hero whose first name is “Mister.”
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### Author:  [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/13 "2004-12-23T02:53:50Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#):
>
> Macguyver likes hockey and is mentioned frequently on The Simpsons.
>
> Batman hangs out with young boys in speedos
Batman is also mentioned frequently on The Simpsons, most memorably in _Marge vs. The Monorail_.
Marge: There’s a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, a scientist!
Homer: Batman’s a scientist!
That Homer immediately thinks of Batman when needing help stopping an out of control speeding monorail is just one of the many, many reasons MacGuyver would be totally and completely destroyed by the Dark Knight.
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/14 "2004-12-23T03:16:50Z")
Oh please, this isn’t even close.
Widdle Bats has to be _prepared_. Oh, oh, I can do anything if I’m _prepared_. What a chump.
McGuyver, now that’s a real hero. He doesn’t have Batman’s fancy gadgets for every occasion (Oh, I need the Bat-Trapdoor-Escaper, which I conveniently have in my belt). McGuyver knows how to improvise. Whatever Bats throws at him, McGuyver can find a solution. Once McGuyver turns the tables, Bats is going to be fumbling around that belt trying to figure out what gadget he can find to get out of the jam.
But it will be too late. McGuyver’s lead pipe, bubble gum and soda can grenade launcher will incinerate Bats.
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### Author:  [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/15 "2004-12-23T03:24:17Z")
How about McGuyver vs Wilford Brimley?
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### Author:  [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-versus-mcguyver/281210/16 "2004-12-23T06:40:55Z")
> [@blowero](#):
>
> That’s a total mismatch. Batman’s a superhero; he’d eat MacGuyver for lunch. What you want is MacGuyver vs. Jim Rockford. That would be a good contest.
It was this post that got me thinking what Spenser would do to all these chumps. And then it hits me…
_Hawk Vs. Mr. T_
I submit that Avery Brooks without hair is analogous to ripped-shirt Kirk and, as such, is more than a match for any of the men mentioned.\*
\*I’d rather not bring Batman into this as I find myself on somewhat unsteady ground discussing theology.