# Batman vs. Samuel L. Jackson **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585 "2003-08-12T05:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/21 "2003-08-13T18:13:50Z")
What if you got Sam Jackson to PLAY Batman? ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/22 "2003-08-13T22:57:40Z")
**Guinastasia.** Ahhhhhh, you’d get the same bitching from those purists who felt that Michael Clarke Duncan had no business playing Kingpin in DAREDEVIL. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/23 "2003-08-14T00:09:55Z")
[sam jackson] I’M BATMAN… ya dumb muthah-f\*cka![/sj] ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/24 "2003-08-14T01:19:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*What if you got Sam Jackson to PLAY Batman? \*\* Get real. That’d be like getting a black woman to play Catwoman. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/25 "2003-08-14T01:25:26Z")
what would be wrong with that? ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/26 "2003-08-14T01:50:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Sam Jackson is Mace Windu… James Earl Jones is Vader. Actually David Prowse played Darth Vader… James Earl Jones just did a voice over for the speaking parts. ---
**Author:** ![Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moo_the_Magic_Cow)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/27 "2003-08-14T02:15:42Z")
[Batman wins.](https://webspace.utexas.edu/tsookram/www/batwallet.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/28 "2003-08-14T04:35:05Z")
**Batman vs. Jules Winnifred: A One Act Play** \*\*Batman.[b/] There are seven ways to disarm you from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The third… hurts. **Jules.** I hate to shatter your ego, but this ain’t the first time I’ve had a batarang pointed at me. **Vincent.** (interjecting): Jules, if you give him our money, I’m gonna fucking shoot him on general principle. **Batman.** (turning to Vincent) Vicious, stupid punk… **Jules.** Shut up Bat Man, this don’t have a goddamn thing to do with you… Vincent, SHUT THE FUCK UP!! **Batman.** This would be a fine death… but not fine enough. **Jules.** Well, that seems to be the situation. Now let’s see what we can do. (Considering) Truth is, you’re the weak – and I am the tyranny of evil men. But I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying hard to be the shepherd. **Batman.** There’s nothing wrong with you that I can’t fix with my hands. **Jules.** It’s things like this that’s gonna bring this situation to a HEAD, man! **Batman.** You don’t get it do you? This isn’t a mudhole, boy. This is an operating table. And I’m the surgeon. (The two begin fighting, spouting non-sequitars) **Jules.** I’m Superfly TNT! I’m the Guns of the Navarone! **Batman.** Stupid. Stupid punk. No discipline. **Jules.** Ha ha ha. They’re your clothes, motherfucker. **Batman.** Break you. Break you in half. _Finally the battle ends, as all battles must, with only one victor._ **Batman.** (Seizing Jules by the throat) Remember, in all the years to come… in your private dreams… my hand at your throat… the one man who BEAT you… **Jules.** (Before losing consciousness) Hey, better back off. I-I-I’m gettin’ a little pissed, here… Diagolue by Q. Taratino and F. Miller ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/29 "2003-08-14T04:51:03Z")
I’m afraid there’s only one deciding factor here: [Batman](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Keaton,+Michael) [is](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Kilmer,+Val) [white.](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Clooney,+George) In fact, he’s a rich white playboy. Exactly the type of ass Sam is most likely to get super-motivated to kick. Don’t believe me? Who was the villain he creamed in Shaft 2000? A rich white prettyboy. (The last part is an extra motivation if Batman is played by Kilmer or Clooney.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585/30 "2003-08-14T13:10:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by doc\_miller \* > \*\*[Isaac Hayes] > Who’s the caped non-Hindu > Who can beat the crap outta Windu? > _Batman!_ > Damn straight! > [/IH] \*\* Damn-- :smack: --why didn’t I think of that! Good one, Doc! Good grief, what have I started? :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-samuel-l-jackson/194585.md?page=1)