# Batman vs The Spanish Inquisition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970 "2003-08-04T21:12:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/1 "2003-08-04T21:12:22Z")
Batman always wins if he’s prepared. But _no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!_ Who would win? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/2 "2003-08-04T21:17:06Z")
Batman could overcome the initial surprise. Batman would never give in to fear. Batman has defeated ruthlessly efficient enemies before. And he’s mopped up the floor with foes who were fanatically devoted to their leaders. But sorry, the Dark Knight would have no answer for the nice red uniforms. The Spanish Inquisition wins, and the Caped Crusader goes to the rack. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/3 "2003-08-04T21:43:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > \*\*But sorry, the Dark Knight would have no answer for the nice red uniforms. > > The Spanish Inquisition wins, and the Caped Crusader goes to the rack. \*\* But he’s made of harder stuff than that. He’ll end up in the comfy chair being poked with pillows with all the stuffing up in one end. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/4 "2003-08-05T00:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*But he’s made of harder stuff than that. He’ll end up in the comfy chair being poked with pillows with all the stuffing up in one end. \*\* And that will be his undoing. Batman has undergone extensive endurance training that allows him to withstand any amount of pain or torture. But if there’s one thing he simply cannot handle, it’s sitting in a comfy chair, sipping a cup of tea. So strong is his compulsion to avoid this fate that he routinely dresses up in long-johns and beats up strangers, just to escape his life of ease and luxury. However, I suspect in the last act, it will be revealed that the batsuited guy in the Barcalounger has been Alfred all the time. Alfred is uniquely suited to withstanding the rigors of a soft pillow and a cuppa, all the while giving the real Bats free reign to foil the machinations of the Spanish Inquisition. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/5 "2003-08-05T01:42:09Z")
But Batman’s chief advantage is his utility belt with all those cool toys, and a ruthless dedication to fighting evil. His two, two chief advantages. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/6 "2003-08-05T01:59:12Z")
Actually, thinking this over, I think we’ve got the proto-typical “Can God make a rock so big even He cannot lift it?” philosophical dillemma here: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. But Batman always expects the unexpected. Clearly what we have here is a deadlock of truly titanic proportions. ---
**Author:** ![rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/7 "2003-08-05T02:00:30Z")
WAIT… he’ll come in again… ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/8 "2003-08-05T04:44:37Z")
The real question is, who has the better rack – Yvonne Craig or Torquemada? ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/9 "2003-08-05T05:14:17Z")
Batman has the batmobile, but they have the _auto de fe_, think of that. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/10 "2003-08-05T12:26:40Z")
**Forbin** , that comment can’t slip by without a tremendous round of applause. Consider it done. ---
**Author:** ![Xander\_Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ce73a5/32.png) [@Xander\_Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xander_Cane)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/11 "2003-08-05T12:28:26Z")
I would like to thank Otto for starting this thread. Now I know who is wispering these stupid ideas in my ear when I am bored 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/batman-vs-the-spanish-inquisition/192970/12 "2003-08-06T04:44:53Z")
Oh sure. I see the Original, think of 4 or 5 funny tie ins, and think “Aha! I can make a name for myself!” And then find all my witty comments were taken the day before. Now I must remain glued to monitor for next 4 days waiting for a new topic with equal potential…