# Battle of the Bad Dads: Homer vs. Peter vs. Stan **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 14, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620 "2005-09-14T17:03:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/21 "2005-09-14T20:26:20Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > All **8** kids - 3 Simpson, 3 Griffin, 2 Smith. “Marge, the _dog_ doesn’t count as a kid.” ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/22 "2005-09-14T20:26:41Z")
But Peter leaves all the child-rearing responsibilities to Lois. So, if they’re all malevolent presences in their children’s lives Peter would be the best because he has the least negative influence on them. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/23 "2005-09-14T20:28:28Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > All **8** kids - 3 Simpson, 3 Griffin, 2 Smith. How about the other sister Meg killed? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/24 "2005-09-14T20:31:50Z")
> [@HowieReynolds](#): > > “Marge, the _dog_ doesn’t count as a kid.” 😃 That made the nitpick so worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/25 "2005-09-14T20:32:22Z")
> [@Rube E. Tewesday](#): > > How about the other sister Meg killed? Now you know that that was just a dream. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/26 "2005-09-14T20:38:25Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > I can’t recall the episode title–and by “can’t recall” I mean “never knew”–but I believe it was the episode in which Lois became a karate master. Peter and Lois go into marital counseling and the therapist suggests that Peter write a note to each member of the family expressing his true feelings. His letter to Stewie was two words long: “Get out.” Heh, forgot about that one. Not sure it should count though, everybody hated everybody in that episode. Peter also send a loogy-letter to his wife, and he clearly doesn’t actively hate her outside of that episode. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/27 "2005-09-14T20:41:57Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Now you know that that was just a dream. “IT WAS JUST A DREAM!!” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/28 "2005-09-14T20:50:00Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Now you know that that was just a dream. I can never decide whether Lois’ increasing hatred of Meg is based on her killing her sister or just on Meg’s mutant make-everybody-hate-me power. The former is logical, but we’re talking about _Family Guy_ here, where a continuity error is when two episodes agree by accident and nobody caught it till too late. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/29 "2005-09-14T21:29:03Z")
Peter Griffin is legitimately evil. He doesn’t really like either Meg or Stewie; he’s occasionally shown some love for Chris, but not often. He’s probably the most selfish character in the history of network TV, which is one fo the reasons he’s funny. He’ll hurt anyone, including his family, to satisfy his childish desires. He does seem to love Lois, when he can get away from thinking about himself. I would classify Homer and Al Bundy as being essentially the same sort of Dad, the Dumb-Ass Schmoe Who Does Love His Kids Deep Down Inside. Bundy is a little more cynical and mean, but like Homer, he does care about his family. “You know what you gotta do, cowboy” he’ll say in resignation as he finally decides to do something for Peggy. Like Homer, Al slaves in a thankless job to keep his family afloat. Hank Hill isn’t as stupid as Homer or Al, and he’s never mean, but in his own redneck way he’s equally clueless. He understands Bobby about as much as Homer Simpson understands calculus. Hank actually likes his job, so it’s hard to judge his “sacrifice for the good of the family” grade. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/30 "2005-09-14T21:45:25Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Hank Hill isn’t as stupid as Homer or Al, and he’s never mean, but in his own redneck way he’s equally clueless. He understands Bobby about as much as Homer Simpson understands calculus. Hank actually likes his job, so it’s hard to judge his “sacrifice for the good of the family” grade. Hank’s definitely clueless, he’s kind of an anachronism. But he’s a legitimately good guy, without other qualifications. Even if he says classic things like “Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/31 "2005-09-14T22:14:35Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Hank’s definitely clueless, he’s kind of an anachronism. But he’s a legitimately good guy, without other qualifications. Even if he says classic things like “Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.” The way Hank thinks, that means “I love you, boy.” It’s not even hard to parse: \*1. What you have just done touches me so that it makes me wish to overcome my manly reserve and exprress my gratitude physically. 1. However, you are my son and I wish you well, which in my view means I wish you to be a strong, self-reliant Texan like me. 2. If I hug you I would encourage you to hug others, which would interfere with your becoming a strong, self-reliant Texan. 3. I care about you too much to interfere in that process.\* And, if I recall aright, Bobby **understood** the entire thing without having to have it explained. Hank’s definitely the best dad of the Fox bunch. Thus far it think the consensus is Hill, Simpson/Bundy, Smith, and–much further behind than the rankings indicate–Griffin. Though I still want opinions on Hal. And a spirited discourse on whether Lois and Francine will french in the inevitable \*Guy/Dad \* crossover. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/32 "2005-09-14T22:17:44Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > ]Hank Hill isn’t as stupid as Homer or Al, and he’s never mean, but in his own redneck way he’s equally clueless. He understands Bobby about as much as Homer Simpson understands calculus. Hank actually likes his job, so it’s hard to judge his “sacrifice for the good of the family” grade. Well, he did work at Megalo-Mart when he Strickland Propane briefly went under. I think he may have even sold charcoal grills to keep the family going. For Hank that’s the acme of love. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/33 "2005-09-14T22:22:26Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > The way Hank thinks, that means “I love you, boy.” It’s not even hard to parse: No, it’s not hard to parse, and I do think Bobby got it. It’s just funny. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/34 "2005-09-15T01:13:56Z")
Hank Hill wins. He’s the only one you feel is trying to be a good father on a consistent basis and he sometimes succeeds. Homer Simpson and Stan Smith want to be good fathers but have almost no skills for the task. Peter Griffin is lucky he’s got Brian around to pick up the slack. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620/35 "2005-09-15T02:48:15Z")
The thing about Hal of _Malcolm_ is that he wants to be a good parent while at the same time be his sons’ best friend. He’ll be lenient or encouraging up to a certain point, but when he realizes that he’s been lax he really lays down the punishment to compensate. Lois is usually there to remind him when he’s slacking and when he’s gone too far in trying to encourage the kids (which are usually at the same point), so he finds himself being the disiplinarian more often than he’d like. This makes him feel guility, so the next time he tries to be friends he gets _really_ lax, and Lois catches on, and he has to _really_ punish them, and it starts all over again. He also has odd obsessive behaviors (roller disco, dominoes, filling in the dictionary) and feels disappointed when others don’t feel the same way. Remember, when Lois went away for a week the house fell into anarchy. Everybody ran naked through the house. Hal quit his job, started smoking, and built a laser-guided bee cannon. In summation, Hal’s an awful father if he isn’t supervised, but not in the intentionally self-destructive way that Peter or Stan have shown. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battle-of-the-bad-dads-homer-vs-peter-vs-stan/321620.md?page=1)