# Battleship: The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294 "2011-08-03T06:37:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/61 "2011-08-04T17:55:08Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > sheesh, ‘dessert’ twice now. I am having that Homer Simpson dream, where the wind is blowing so hard it’s raining sideways, but instead of water droplets it’s cupcakes, so all I have to do is hold my mouth open and eat the dessert storm. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/62 "2011-08-04T18:03:01Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > “Fire the weapons.” > “Which weapons, sir?” > “All of them.” A follower of the Sarah Palin school of naval strategy, I see… ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/63 "2011-08-04T18:06:56Z")
> [@Sealemon2.0](#): > > The alien ship shoots pegs like from the board game. I keep reading this part, hoping that I’m being whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/64 "2011-08-04T18:08:54Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Obligatory link to Youtube > > [Minesweeper the movie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KjXlNxg8Vk&feature=related) A classic. “Why are these mines even here?” As for the cheesy line, I dunno, I don’t take it to be he literally thinks they can fire every weapon, just a general reaction when something unknown is happening, “Holy shit, just fucking fire the weapons.” And yes the movie concept seems very horrible. But if they didn’t call it Battleship it probably wouldn’t seem so craptastic for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/65 "2011-08-04T18:12:28Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I keep reading this part, hoping that I’m being whooshed. Did you watch the preview? ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/66 "2011-08-04T18:31:20Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > When I saw the trailer for Real Steel, I assumed that it was based on Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, but the Wikipedia article on it says that it’s based on a Richard Matheson short story. I’d never heard of the movie, but I just checked the Wiki page. Both _Real Steel_ and the great _Twilight Zone_ episode “Steel” with Lee Marvin claim to be based on the Matheson short story. Something tells me that the movie is a little more loosely based on the story than the Twilight Zone episode, unless Hugh Jackman ends up (spoilered for TZ virgins)… entering the ring against a robot in a desperate attempt to scratch together some money and getting his ass kicked. Given that the movie has giant 2000-pound robots fighting each other, instead of TZ’s human-sized model, and aims for a “heartwarming” feel, I kind of doubt this ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/67 "2011-08-04T18:54:49Z")
I see it mentioned above as a potential remake. But the Clue movie turned out really good. So it’s not impossible to make a good movie from a board game. That trailer doesn’t look too promising, though. (Of course, clue had a lot of characters.) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/68 "2011-08-04T19:30:25Z")
Similarly, a few years ago, Disney had the idea of turning their rides into movies. One of the first ones they made was The Country Bears movie. I never saw it, but I also never heard anything good about it. But the next one they made (the fourth ride-based movie, according to Wikipedia) was Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and that was great. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/69 "2011-08-04T19:37:20Z")
> [@Satchmo](#): > > I see it mentioned above as a potential remake. But the Clue movie turned out really good. So it’s not impossible to make a good movie from a board game. I’d like to see them try to make a good movie out of Connect Four. But I’d pay real money to see Battling Tops. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/70 "2011-08-04T20:15:48Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Did you watch the preview? No, because I’m afraid that I’m not being whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/71 "2011-08-04T20:21:48Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > No, because I’m afraid that I’m not being whooshed. Then I don’t see why you’ll believe me, but, yes, it looks like a conventional movie until radar goes completely dead and Liam Neeson’s fleet squares off against vessels that rapidly configure for something like a mirror match – all of 'em apparently sealed off from the rest of the world by a gigantic force field – which still looks like a straight-up sci-fi twist until the enemy lands red peglike shots on the hull. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/72 "2011-08-04T20:24:06Z")
> [@FlyingDragonFan](#): > > I love big, dumb action movies, so I’m in. _Damn it._ Why are there so _many_ of you people? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/73 "2011-08-04T20:26:27Z")
It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s that I don’t _want_ to believe you. It just sounds so incredibly stupid, that I don’t doubt for an instant that it’s real. I just wish it weren’t. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/74 "2011-08-04T20:44:26Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > I could use some help too. I had my Marine ass parked on the New Jersey for a bit, and we certainly did a full broadside more than once (while the Marines were having fun inside our assigned 5 inch gun). (sigh) After a broadside of 16" guns, how much fun can a 5" be? How far sideways does a broadside send an Iowa-class battleship? > **[File:BB61 USS Iowa BB61 broadside USN.jpg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BB61_USS_Iowa_BB61_broadside_USN.jpg)** > >   > This image was released by the United States Armed Forces with the ID DN-SC-85-03546 (next). > This tag does not indicate the copyright status of the attached work. A normal copyright tag is still required. See Commons:Licensing. > العربية ∙ বাংলা ∙ > Bahaso Jambi ∙ > Deutsch ∙ Deutsch (Sie-Form) ∙ English ∙ español ∙ euskara ∙ فارسی ∙ français ∙ italiano ∙ 日本語 ∙ 한국어 ∙ македонски ∙ മലയാളം ∙ Plattdüütsch ∙ Nederlands ∙ polski ∙ پښتو ∙ português ∙ русский ∙ slovenščina ∙ svenska ∙ Türkçe ∙ українськ... Looks like it’s going a couple meters. I’m a sucker for the old battlewagons and I’d like us to keep one on hand for its JEEZILLY FUCK! effect. There’s a lot to be said for throwing the equivalent of nine small cars of HE 40km. Yeah, aircraft are cheaper, but they just don’t have the class. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/75 "2011-08-04T20:46:54Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > And yes the movie concept seems very horrible. But if they didn’t call it Battleship it probably wouldn’t seem so craptastic for some reason. Exactly. If they called this **Badass Navy Captain Liam Neeson vs Aliens** everyone in this thread would be going bonkers with excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/76 "2011-08-04T20:59:52Z")
I sure hope that romantic subplot doesn’t get in the way of the AWESOME BATTLESHIP ACTION! Seriously, if I watch this movie it’ll be for the ships and junk, I could care less about Blondie McBoob’s feelings. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/77 "2011-08-04T21:10:56Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > I wondered how long it would be before someone invoked Pirates of the Caribbean. I don’t know what the ride was like before the film was released, but I assume the basic elements were in place. Pirates + cursed treasure makes a good basis for a fun action movie. Based on the ETA: INCREDIBLE lameness of the ride, expectations were low. https://www.youtube.com/embed/V1F5tfO0eBE?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/78 "2011-08-05T00:24:35Z")
Check out [this old thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=187993) from 2003, where most were excited about the _League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_, _The Hulk_, and _Terminator 3_, but thought _POTC_ was going to be lame. You just never can tell. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/79 "2011-08-05T00:59:53Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > _Battleship_ is the movie that nobody wanted. _Cowboys & Aliens_ is the movie nobody knew they wanted. There’s a difference. Sorry to invoke this movie again, but after seeing it 4 times and excited for my 5th time tomorrow night, I’ll venture to say that _ **Attack The Block** _ is the movie nobody knew they wanted, and it’s going to be the one that’ll be the cult classic hit, the one that’ll be beloved, and the one that people will still be buzzing about in 10-20+ years. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/80 "2011-08-05T12:05:17Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s that I don’t _want_ to believe you. It just sounds so incredibly stupid, that I don’t doubt for an instant that it’s real. > > I just wish it weren’t. Okay - just watched the trailer. The giant peg action on the screen was not nearly as lame as giant peg action I had in my head. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294.md?page=5)