# Battleship: The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294 "2011-08-03T06:37:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/81 "2011-08-05T14:40:01Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > (sigh) After a broadside of 16" guns, how much fun can a 5" be? > > How far sideways does a broadside send an Iowa-class battleship? > > [File:BB61 USS Iowa BB61 broadside USN.jpg - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BB61_USS_Iowa_BB61_broadside_USN.jpg) > > Looks like it’s going a couple meters. I believe that is incorrect. > **[Do Battleships move sideways when they fire? - NavWeaps](http://www.navweaps.com/index_tech/tech-022.php)** Answer: Pretty much not at all. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/82 "2011-08-05T16:07:08Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > (sigh) After a broadside of 16" guns, how much fun can a 5" be? > > How far sideways does a broadside send an Iowa-class battleship? > > [File:BB61 USS Iowa BB61 broadside USN.jpg - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BB61_USS_Iowa_BB61_broadside_USN.jpg) > > Looks like it’s going a couple meters. > > I’m a sucker for the old battlewagons and I’d like us to keep one on hand for its JEEZILLY FUCK! effect. There’s a lot to be said for throwing the equivalent of nine small cars of HE 40km. Yeah, aircraft are cheaper, but they just don’t have the class. I don’t know about movement (though someone else found a link with an answer), but it was the only damned breeze we had that day! Hot, humid and surrounded by steel. Then the big guns fire and we get a nice breeze. The 5 inchers were fun just because the Navy let us shoot them (my job was lookout - making sure some friendly fishing boat didn’t get between us and the island we were blowing up off the coast of South Korea). ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/83 "2011-08-05T19:12:19Z")
I suspect the “giant pegs” turn out to be hull-breaching drop-pods packed with tentacle-y and/or chitin-y troops. Can’t think of any other reason they didn’t explode right away. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/84 "2011-08-05T19:13:37Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I suspect the “giant pegs” turn out to be hull-breaching drop-pods packed with tentacle-y and/or chitin-y troops. Can’t think of any other reason they didn’t explode right away. That’s what I was thinking. These were something to let the Kraken know which ships to munch. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/85 "2011-08-05T19:20:15Z")
From the trailer: > [@](#): > > You went from enlisted to officer faster than anyone in the history of the US Navy WTF is THAT supposed to mean? ETA: I know what it means to go from E to O, I did it, I just don’t get the speed reference. Lameo. ---
**Author:** ![OtisCampbellWasRight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d78d45/32.png) [@OtisCampbellWasRight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtisCampbellWasRight)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/86 "2011-08-05T19:22:16Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > If you think this is bad, just wait for next year’s Eli Roth torture porn extravaganza, Operation: The Movie. > > Two men are drugged only to awake in a dank basement with a patient on the operating table. Can they remove his funny bone without touching the sides and receiving a deadly electric shock? Find out, Summer 2012! Wasn’t this the premise of one of the SAW vignettes? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/87 "2011-08-05T19:32:01Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > I believe that is incorrect. > > [Do Battleships move sideways when they fire? - NavWeaps](http://www.navweaps.com/index_tech/tech-022.htm) > > Answer: Pretty much not at all. God, I love nerds! Got a stupid question? They have a smart answer and will devote substantial time to formulating it. And build a webpage around it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/88 "2011-08-05T19:42:53Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > WTF is THAT supposed to mean? > > ETA: I know what it means to go from E to O, I did it, I just don’t get the speed reference. How long did it take you to go from E to O? He did it in less time. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/89 "2011-08-05T19:43:09Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > “Fire the weapons.” > “Which weapons, sir?” > “All of them.” > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > That’s five different weapon systems, not including the purely defensive systems. The Captain is going to have to be a _touch_ more specific. > **[Léon: The Professional (1994) - Quotes - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110413/quotes/)** > > Léon: The Professional: Directed by Luc Besson. With Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, Natalie Portman, Danny Aiello. An Italian hit man protects a New York orphan. > [@](#): > > Norman Stansfield: Bring me everyone. > Benny: What do you mean “everyone”? > Norman Stansfield: EVERYONE. > … > Benny: What, even old Andy that brings the doughnuts and your secretary Janine? > Norman Stansfield: EVERYONE > Benny: Even that kid you got in to do all that filing? > Norman Stansfield: EVERYONE > Benny: What about Jimmy, he has a broken leg remember.. > Norman Stansfield: EVERY…look just fuck off will you. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/90 "2011-08-05T19:50:20Z")
Note to screenwriters: “Fire everything!” doesn’t sound tough or cool. “Fire all weapons!” or “Fire at will!” does. EDIT: I rewatched the trailer. Liam doesn’t say “Fire everything!”. Sorry, my bad. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/91 "2011-08-05T19:55:00Z")
“Which one’s Will?” ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/92 "2011-08-05T20:04:06Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > “Which one’s Will?” The one with the beard. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/93 "2011-08-05T21:11:55Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > So I’m ignorant, what is wrong with this dialog? The command would be “Weapons Free.” Subordinate officers in the Combat Information Center or Action Information Center would then direct the actions of individual weapons systems operators. no one would be wondering what to use - they’re well-trained to get the most out their ship and it’s weapons. the Captain has more important things to do than worry about which weapons systems to use - He has to maintain situation awareness, react to orders from higher, and oversee the efficient functioning of many subordinate systems and systems managers (Damage Control, Navigation, communications, CIC, Engineering, ect.). ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/94 "2011-08-05T21:13:58Z")
Why would a powerful electric shock administered to a guy standing knee-deep in water send him flying, as opposed to, y’know… killing him? Meh… right way, wrong way, _Battleship_ way… ---
**Author:** ![Tanbarkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@Tanbarkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanbarkie)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/95 "2011-08-05T21:45:19Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Note to screenwriters: > > “Fire everything!” doesn’t sound tough or cool. > > “Fire all weapons!” or “Fire at will!” does. > > EDIT: I rewatched the trailer. Liam doesn’t say “Fire everything!”. Sorry, my bad. IMO, the actual dialogue is even worse. “Fire everything!!!” (a la Eric Bana in the Star Trek reboot) sounds bizarrely informal coming from a bridge officer. But “Fire the weapons!” followed by “All of them!” just makes Neeson’s character sound like a fucking idiot who doesn’t remember what weapons he has at his disposal. And that’s ignoring the fact that it’s just awful writing. A terse “Weapons free” would’ve been far more impressive, and wouldn’t involve Neeson’s subordinate saying “Which weapons?” like he’s asking Neeson which condiments he wants on his Whopper. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/96 "2011-08-05T21:51:12Z")
> [@Tanbarkie](#): > > (a la Eric Bana in the Star Trek reboot) Ah, yes, another movie that went out of its way to be ignorant of how navies work. We’re almost at the stage of > [@](#): > > “Dive… DIVE” yelled the captain through the thing. So the captain pressed a button, or something, and it dove. And the enemy was foiled again! ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/97 "2011-08-05T22:17:27Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110413/quotes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110413/quotes) https://www.youtube.com/embed/BIjXvKlCWcI?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/98 "2011-08-05T22:52:13Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Ah, yes, another movie that went out of its way to be ignorant of how navies work. TNG made an effort, to the point that somebody appeared on the bridge and Picard told Worf to do something about it, and he ordered a redshirt to fire, but that skipped at least one link in the chain of command. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/99 "2011-08-06T00:35:32Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > That’s five different weapon systems, not including the purely defensive systems. The Captain is going to have to be a _touch_ more specific. Besides, it’s just a cheesy line. What captain says that? I’m half expecting that his next line is going to be “I want the missiles! I want the big guns! I want the little guns and every gun in between! I want officers standing on the deck, firing with their sidearms! I want the cooks throwing steak knives out the galley windows at those those tentacled bastards! Today is our Independence Day!” “…And I want it all fired at grid reference G7!” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294/100 "2011-08-06T21:46:47Z")
Don’t miss [the novelization](http://www.cracked.com/blog/novelization-trailer-movie-battleship/)… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-movie/591294.md?page=6)