# Battleship - the "WTF, I went to see it regardless of the silly premise" thread. (Open spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331 "2012-05-18T16:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/1 "2012-05-18T16:35:01Z")
Got my tickets for this one tonight and am looking forward to it, largely because of its _Friday Night Lights_ roots with director Peter Berg and star Taylor Kitsch (of _John Carter_ fame.) Reviews are pretty negative, but CNN did have this to say: > [@](#): > > “Battleship” is a special-effects-heavy movie invented to extend the brand of a commercial board game – suitable for ages 7 and up! – in which two players move imaginary boats around a simple grid. > > That part’s not newsworthy. The surprise, for this veteran of board games, is that “Battleship” is also the rousing, engaging, and emotionally complex action war picture the silly 2001 action war picture “Pearl Harbor” only wished it could be. It’s “Pearl Harbor” with greater intelligence, less hokum, and more aliens. For every line of howler dialogue that should have been sunk, there’s a nice little scene in which humans have to make a difficult decision. > > For every stretch of generic sci-fi-via-CGI moviemaking, there’s a welcome bit of wit. Under the direction of Peter Berg – the talented, ever-maturing filmmaker behind “Friday Night Lights” and “The Kingdom” – “Battleship” is a sound vessel floating in Hollywood’s oil-slick sea of “Transformers” sequels and vampire riffs. Well, if stuff blows up real good and if they say the line “You sank my battleship”, I’ll consider it time well spent. Our showing is at 9pm tonight, CST. Anybody here going to see this one? Oh, and open spoilers. Anybody who complains… _really_? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/2 "2012-05-18T16:42:28Z")
I like how the CNN reviewer calls him/herself a “veteran of board games”… and then completely gets the play of _Battleship_ wrong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/3 "2012-05-18T16:44:20Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I like how the CNN reviewer calls him/herself a “veteran of board games”… and then completely gets the play of _Battleship_ wrong. 😃 That was the first thing that jumped out at me too. “You don’t move the boats!” ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/4 "2012-05-18T16:46:03Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I like how the CNN reviewer calls him/herself a “veteran of board games”… and then completely gets the play of _Battleship_ wrong. 😃 > [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > That was the first thing that jumped out at me too. > > “You don’t move the boats!” Sounds to me like the reviewer is somebody who consistently ‘won’ at Battleship. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/5 "2012-05-18T17:01:01Z")
Friend’s non-spoiler review. “Entertaining but not good. Three out of four Michael Bays. Rhianna is in uniform the whole time, no bikini shots.” Joe-Bob says go see the Avengers again. If the Avengers wasn’t out, this might be a nice thing to see, but… ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/6 "2012-05-18T17:05:06Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > That was the first thing that jumped out at me too. > > “You don’t move the boats!” Then how do you win? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/7 "2012-05-18T17:31:17Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Then how do you win? Simply lie. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/8 "2012-05-18T17:38:03Z")
I play Battleship with my 10-year old. I move the ships to _lose as quickly as possible!_ Someday, in researching the life of his dead father, he’ll read this and realize his entire childhood was a sham. ☹ How’s that for an “open spoiler”? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/9 "2012-05-18T17:54:55Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Then how do you win? Assuming that this is a serious question. The ships are on a grid. They stay stationary. The size and orientation (North-South or East-West) of the ships can be used to help mask the ships (did I hit one ship twice or did I hit two ships side-by-side) The players cannot see their opponents grid nor ships. Players take turns guessing the coordinates of their opponents ships. You win by discovering and hitting all grid squares that are covered by your opponents ships. The battleship is the largest ship in each players fleet and takes up the most grid spaces. Sinking your opponents battleship is considered to be a “cool” accomplishment. [This](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battleship_%28game%29)may explain it better. If you were kidding its OK. I could use the breeze. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/10 "2012-05-18T17:58:52Z")
You have to remember to mark your opponents moves on your side of the board, otherwise you’ll get caught… ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/11 "2012-05-18T18:03:47Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > The battleship is the largest ship in each players fleet and takes up the most grid spaces. Total nitpick…it’s the Aircraft Carrier that’s the biggest ship (5 spaces). The Battleship is the next-biggest (4 spaces). ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/12 "2012-05-18T18:09:14Z")
That was the compromised second draft, **Kenobi**. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/13 "2012-05-18T18:10:18Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Assuming that this is a serious question. > The battleship is the largest ship in each players fleet and takes up the most grid spaces. Sinking your opponents battleship is considered to be a “cool” accomplishment. Huh, I remember the aircraft carrier taking up the most space on the grid, however, it has been many moons since I’ve last played. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/14 "2012-05-18T18:22:30Z")
If someone else paid, I might go see it. Might. (You see, the Google Ads are telling me that “The End-Time is Here”, which means that I don’t have time to waste on crappy board game tie-in flicks!) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/15 "2012-05-18T18:28:06Z")
I saw it last month when I was on vacation in England. I tend to like big-budget action/disaster/alien invasion movies. This one was a reasonably good example of the genre. I was amused by how they worked in the references to the actual board game; there was a sufficient amount of scenery-chewing by the cast; and the plot wasn’t _insanely_ stupid. (Just regular stupid.) Basically, if you like the whole 2012/Independence Day/Armageddon genre, you’ll probably like this. Otherwise, maybe not so much. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/16 "2012-05-18T18:29:57Z")
Can someone please answer the most important question: Does Liam Neeson say “You sunk my battleship” or not?!? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/17 "2012-05-18T18:31:34Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Can someone please answer the most important question: > > Does Liam Neeson say “You sunk my battleship” or not?!? Not. :mad: I was waiting for it the WHOLE DAMN MOVIE, too. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/18 "2012-05-18T18:46:15Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Can someone please answer the most important question: > > Does Liam Neeson say “You sunk my battleship” or not?!? [American Warships](http://www.syfy.com/videos/Syfy%20Original%20Movies/vid:18394710)-A SyFy Original :rolleyes: Movie. Contains the line “They’re not going to sink my battleship”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/19 "2012-05-18T20:33:37Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Can someone please answer the most important question: > > Does Liam Neeson say “You sunk my battleship” or not?!? More to the point, does the battleship get sunk? Can’t say “you sank my battleship” if they don’t, in fact, sink your battleship. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/20 "2012-05-18T20:40:00Z")
What if he has more than one battleship? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331.md?page=2)