# Battleship - the "WTF, I went to see it regardless of the silly premise" thread. (Open spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331 "2012-05-18T16:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/21 "2012-05-18T20:43:04Z")
I’d be curious to know (not curious enough to shell out any money, you understand…) why there are even battleships in the movie at all. There haven’t been any in the actual navy for decades. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/22 "2012-05-18T20:45:00Z")
So did they at least _try_ to involve some of the gameplay? Does anything get blown up with C-4? Does the victor shout “I WON”? Does someone get EATEN by an alien? Does anyone say “happy? He’s gonna be ELATED!” before blowing someone to smithereens? C’mon, throw me a _bone_\* here! - Not really. (I ate.) ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/23 "2012-05-18T21:04:27Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Then how do you win? You were the baby of the family, weren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/24 "2012-05-18T21:16:45Z")
I just can’t get how this movie is supposed to in any way replicate the board game. The point of the boardgame is that it is a simulation of a fleet battle (okay, a lame fleet with only one of each ship type, but still). The white posts are misses, can be conceived of as water splashes, the red posts are hits, can be conceived of as explosions and resulting fires. Where does the robotic alien invader enter into it? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/25 "2012-05-18T21:19:01Z")
You must be old because that came in the second edition. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/26 "2012-05-18T21:20:11Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Where does the robotic alien invader enter into it? 😕 If you ever played my cousin, you wouldn’t be asking that question. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/27 "2012-05-18T21:22:28Z")
> [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](#): > > Huh, I remember the aircraft carrier taking up the most space on the grid, however, it has been many moons since I’ve last played. Either way, it always seemed to me that the big pieces, being the easiest to find, were always worth less. The \*destroyer \*was always the most valuable piece on the board in our house. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/28 "2012-05-18T21:34:44Z")
Is there even a battleship in the film? Because in the trailer it looks mostly like Arleigh Burke class destroyers. Really, why is the film even “based on a boardgame” when the premise of the boardgame is simply two carrier battlegroups firing at each other? It’s not so much the film itself has a silly premise (at least not any sillier than Skyline, Battle: Los Angeles, Transformers, The Darkest Hour, The Avengers or any of the other alien invasion films over the past couple of years). It’s sill to base a film off a boardgame that has no plot, no characters and no story. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/29 "2012-05-18T21:47:35Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Is there even a battleship in the film? Because in the trailer it looks mostly like Arleigh Burke class destroyers. > Really, why is the film even “based on a boardgame” when the premise of the boardgame is simply two carrier battlegroups firing at each other? It’s not so much the film itself has a silly premise (at least not any sillier than Skyline, Battle: Los Angeles, Transformers, The Darkest Hour, The Avengers or any of the other alien invasion films over the past couple of years). It’s sill to base a film off a boardgame that has no plot, no characters and no story. Purely for marketing. If it was just called “Alien Invasion” or something like that, it would stick in people’s minds a lot less. But since it’s called Battleship and is “based on the board game,” people have been talking about it for over a year. Even if most of that talk was “Really? They’re basing a movie off of Battleship? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/30 "2012-05-19T06:08:53Z")
Just got back from seeing it. I enjoyed it just like I enjoyed ID4. They blowed shit up good. 🙂 Yes there is a battleship and yes the plot covers where it came from. Good fun popcorn flick. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/31 "2012-05-19T06:20:52Z")
> [@rick](#): > > just got back from seeing it. > I enjoyed it just like i enjoyed id4. > They blowed shit up good. 🙂 > yes there is a battleship and yes the plot covers where it came from. > Good fun popcorn flick. not good enough. Is it faithful to the source material, sir? Are there x, y references? Is the destroyer the most powerful vessel? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/32 "2012-05-19T06:41:18Z")
I just got back from seeing it, and yes, stuff blows up REAL good. But, please, turn off your brains or else you’ll find yourself asking questions like: 1. Do they really keep live WW2-era ammunition onboard a decommissioned ship that was converted to a museum 30 years ago? 2. Above question, replace “live WW2-era ammunition” with “fuel”. 3. Why do the aliens think that just because you’re not pointing your guns at them you are no longer a threat? 4. Did the screenwriter take the JJ Abrams Star Trek script and just rewrite it? 5. I won’t even go into the scene with the anchor. Lets just say that I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work in real life. 😃 6. The speed of light is gonzo-fast in this movie. And apparently physical objects move through space at the same gonzo speed. Nice to see Jesse Plemmons again. He pretty much played the same character that he played in _Friday Night Lights_ (Landry). ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/33 "2012-05-19T15:46:34Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > not good enough. Is it faithful to the source material, sir? Are there x, y references? Is the destroyer the most powerful vessel? Grid coordinates, yes there are and they fire at them. The USS John Paul Jones (destroyer) does quite a bit of damage to the other guy. The battleship is what kicks final ass. Suspension of disbelief? Yup bring a bucket full. But with that said, I had no problem staying in the movie. It had way way fewer WTF moments than say Pearl Harbor which was stupid beyond all belief. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/34 "2012-05-19T16:14:49Z")
Well we have already established that Ashanti does not take off her clothes, what about Brooklyn Decker? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/35 "2012-05-19T16:26:13Z")
Well, according to [Boxofficeguru.com](http://Boxofficeguru.com), the movie made and estimated $25 million this weekend - half of what \*Avengers \*made in its third frame. That’s… not good. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/36 "2012-05-19T16:33:29Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Grid coordinates, yes there are and they fire at them. > The USS John Paul Jones (destroyer) does quite a bit of damage to the other guy. The battleship is what kicks final ass. > Suspension of disbelief? Yup bring a bucket full. > But with that said, I had no problem staying in the movie. It had way way fewer WTF moments than say Pearl Harbor which was stupid beyond all belief. But more importantly, do they follow the [optimal algorithm](http://www.datagenetics.com/blog/december32011/index.html) for defeating the aliens? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/37 "2012-05-19T18:08:15Z")
Actually since the aliens move and can’t be tracked by radar, they find a way to track them that gives grid coordinates. So they are tracking them and following their moves and predicting where they will land next. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/38 "2012-05-19T18:41:26Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Well, according to [Boxofficeguru.com](http://Boxofficeguru.com), the movie made and estimated $25 million this weekend - half of what \*Avengers \*made in its third frame. That’s… not good. The weekend isn’t even half over. Or does Sunday not count in Tel Aviv? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/39 "2012-05-19T18:52:14Z")
Actually, it doesn’t - weekends here are Fri-Sat. Gotta work tomorrow. That aside, it was a projection for the entire weekend based on Friday numbers. They do that. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331/40 "2012-05-20T02:50:42Z")
I saw it and it was better than it had any right to be. And there _is_ a post-credit scene. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/battleship-the-wtf-i-went-to-see-it-regardless-of-the-silly-premise-thread-open-spoilers/622331.md?page=3)