# Be Honest. \[Dealing with races other than your own in customer service\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027 "2014-03-06T17:41:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/21 "2014-03-07T20:57:25Z")
I think the closest I’ve come to doing this is, if I’m talking to a white friend and I’m trying to describe a third party it’s: “That black guy over there” If however, if I’m talking to a black friend and I’m trying to describe the same third party, it becomes: “That tall gentleman wearing wearing the red shirt and blue jeans.” ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/22 "2014-03-07T21:14:23Z")
> [@DeepLiquid](#): > > No, I was the opposite. I tended bar in a gay bar in the early 80’s and I would give very minimal or no service to straight people; usually kids from the local university who came in looking for a fight or to stare and laugh at the “fags”. How did you treat hen parties/bachelorette parties by the way? ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/23 "2014-03-08T15:37:03Z")
I deliver pizzas in a predominantly white area and I get super excited whenever I deliver to non-white folks. I also try and take note of dietary differences among cultures. I don’t give them better service, though. There’s not a lot of leeway in “Sign the slip, here’s your pizza. Yes, the weather is good/bad today, isn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/24 "2014-03-08T16:20:42Z")
I tended bar and waited tables for a while. When white folks would ask me to recommend a dish from the menu, I would honestly reply by mentioning my favorite. When black folks would do likewise, I would instead mention something else, because I didn’t want to say _“well, the fried chicken sure is delicious.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/25 "2014-03-08T17:06:56Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > I once told a client that I suspected that I was “too White” to be able to help him much. Which I believed was the truth. > > I think he appreciated my honesty as we had many conversations. I must know. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/26 "2014-03-08T17:08:19Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > How did you treat hen parties/bachelorette parties by the way? I haven’t dealt with that as a bartender, but as a patron they piss me off. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/27 "2014-03-10T14:40:03Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > I must know. Talk/behavior therapy at a halfway house through a huge cultural gap. His initial expression looked like lawsuit bingo. So I knew I’d taken a risk though it was in favor of him receiving the best possible services. I recommended another counselor. But after that he sought me out often during the week to run things by me. I’d like to believe that it was because he thought I would give him honest responses. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/28 "2014-03-10T16:36:31Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > I once told a client that I suspected that I was “too White” to be able to help him much. Which I believed was the truth. > > I think he appreciated my honesty as we had many conversations. I was asking if you had any Rid 'em. You know?! For fruit flies?! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/29 "2014-03-10T17:05:59Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > Talk/behavior therapy at a halfway house through a huge cultural gap. His initial expression looked like lawsuit bingo. So I knew I’d taken a risk though it was in favor of him receiving the best possible services. > > I recommended another counselor. But after that he sought me out often during the week to run things by me. I’d like to believe that it was because he thought I would give him honest responses. My psycho ex voluntarily participated in chemical dependency treatment and he got the same thing from his counselor there. They said they thought he would be better served by an “ethnic” counselor and transferred him somewhere else (I guess that organization had no ethnic counselors available, or else they understandably were tired of dealing with a complete lunatic). He was very offended even though he’s the one CONSTANTLY talking about the huge cultural gap between him and white people and he’s always said that if he would ever get counseling for anything it would have to be from a black counselor. Ultimately I’m sure it made no difference at all, because weed is about the least of his problems and none of them would be able to help him, but I was surprised they did that. According to him, they didn’t offer or suggest that he transfer, they gave him no choice. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/30 "2014-03-10T18:35:11Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > My psycho ex voluntarily participated in chemical dependency treatment and he got the same thing from his counselor there. They said they thought he would be better served by an “ethnic” counselor and transferred him somewhere else (I guess that organization had no ethnic counselors available, or else they understandably were tired of dealing with a complete lunatic). He was very offended even though he’s the one CONSTANTLY talking about the huge cultural gap between him and white people and he’s always said that if he would ever get counseling for anything it would have to be from a black counselor. > > Ultimately I’m sure it made no difference at all, because weed is about the least of his problems and none of them would be able to help him, but I was surprised they did that. According to him, they didn’t offer or suggest that he transfer, they gave him no choice. I think that cultural differences in the US should make no difference in positive outcomes. Healthy thoughts and behavior translate across cultural differences. But until we can get past that sometimes alternative methods work better or you spend the whole time distracted from the reason the person is there. It can feel like a “no win” situation for the person making the decision, however. I suppose that’s the irony in this thread, as others have mentioned, any accommodation that deviates from the norm can be perceived as racism. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/31 "2014-03-10T18:46:36Z")
Nope. I do my best to give everyone the best service I can, until you show that you’re a jackass. Then you get the bare minimum the law/employee rules allow for. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/32 "2014-03-10T18:54:12Z")
I spent most of my years in heacy duty truck repair. It wasn’t unusual for minorities to come in and seem a bit uncomfortable, if this was the case I would go out of my way to make them feel comfortable in stating a complaint, unless I had some kind of cue from the customer I wasn’t generally aware of race. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/33 "2014-03-10T19:05:29Z")
It’s been years since I worked retail but, when I did, it was for a couple garden centers/nurseries and I don’t recall helping any minorities. I refuse to believe that non-white homeowners don’t plants trees or petunias so I’m going to assume they didn’t make an impression on me either way. There was one Indian dude who would constantly try to haggle us down and then get pissed when we wouldn’t change our prices until we finally asked him to stop coming by. Don’t know if he was new to the country and suffering culture shock or just a cheapskate. Anyway, I don’t think he was indicative of much and I supposed I would have suffered just the same had he been of European descent. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/34 "2014-03-10T20:53:53Z")
I worked retail for 13 years in Memphis. As a salesman I never gave much thought to racial differences among my customers, but sometimes had to deal with racist attitudes from both whites & blacks. This was more true when I became a manager. Wheen I got my first management job, I was on very good terms with the store manager; there were people who called me her pet, though I’m sure she thought of me as her protege. One slow weeknight she called me into her office and we spent several hours trying to figure out if we could schedule all the clothing departments so that every area was always staffed by roughly equal numbers of blacks and whites, because we’d been getting so much grief from white customers who didn’t want black sales staff, or the reverse. We figured out a short-term plan but ultimately decided it was not sustainable and was going to get us sued. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027/35 "2014-03-10T21:10:30Z")
I’ve never worked in retail/service, but on the whole I think I probably do go a bit out of my way to be extra-nice/friendly when interacting with people from other ethnic groups. Fact is that as much as we may wish we lived in a color-blind society, that’s not the way things are in many cases, and people are apt to interpret things you do or say in line with their past experiences or predispositions. So the same thing you might say to someone of your own ethnic group and be understood as casual normal interaction is apt to be misunderstood as standoffish or worse when directed as a member of a different ethnic group. Not a huge deal and I don’t change in any real significant way, but to the extent that it’s easy to be extra-careful to smile or be friendly, or otherwise avoid acting in ways that might be misinterpreted along stereotypical lines, it’s worthwhile IMHO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-honest-dealing-with-races-other-than-your-own-in-customer-service/683027.md?page=1)