# Be My Dating Coach **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639 "2011-07-11T16:32:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/121 "2011-07-14T17:22:32Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I know I’m immature about relationships, but there is no magic maturity pill, and as long as I am honest with my partners, maintain my personal integrety, and keep one eye on my long term goals, I don’t think being on the shallow side is the worst thing in the world. Of course it’s not the worst thing in the world, but you also have to recognize that your current personal integrity about relationships is directly opposed to your long term goals. So at a certain point, one or the other will have to give. There’s nothing wrong with not marrying and having children if you don’t really want them. I didn’t and don’t plan on it (well, the children part, I don’t entirely rule out marriage). But if that is something you really want, you’ll have to reevaluate your view on relationships as: > [@](#): > > The “prize,” actually isn’t a relationship. I guess it’s power. Having guys to choose from. Being the one to set the tone of the relationship. Being able to do whatever while guys chase after me. Not falling in love more than he does. Being forgiven when I screw up. It sounds pretty bad when I put it like that, but you are what you are. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/122 "2011-07-14T19:33:42Z")
> [@I\_Know\_Nothing](#): > > [catty?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtU77nHL-p4&feature=related) highest “terror” + “amused” quotient of any youtube video i’ve EVER seen or anticipate seeing. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/123 "2011-07-14T20:33:45Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > What the hell have I stumbled into? Just wanted to tell Sven liked the profile, and her pictures are great, esp her main profile one. You have it going on, even sven. > [@pancakes3](#): > > don’t be suckered. there’s a formidable speedbump of crazy here (speedbump of crazy meant in the nicest of ways, and with all due respect). > [@the lone cashew](#): > > The only speedbump of crazy are these ridiculous message board catty backstabbing pile ons, nothing wrong with even sven. > [@hajario](#): > > She asked for advice. She was given advice. She has said that she appreciates the advice. How in the blazing blue fuck is this a backstabbing pile on? The thread does kind of feel like that scene in _Airplane_ where the passenger is panicking, so someone slaps her to calm her down, someone else slaps her, and eventually half the plane lies up to take turns slapping her. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/124 "2011-07-14T22:25:51Z")
Even Sven am I wrong or did you once start a thread called something like, ‘I’m so sick of beauty!’ ? I could be misremembering, forgive me if I have you mixed up with another poster. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/125 "2011-07-14T23:21:59Z")
A quick search reveals that she did: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=543141&highlight=beauty](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=543141&highlight=beauty) ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/126 "2011-07-15T10:02:02Z")
Hehe. That was me. I was posting from a place where jobs have beauty requirements, there was a very narrow standard of feminine beauty, and gender roles were extremely lmited. It was a difficult thing for me to live in evey day, and something that a lot of American women have difficulty with. It was a process for me, and one that ended well- I turned that energy into a women’s career seminar an monotring young women through anorexia, abortion andthe early stages of their career. They still come to me for frienship and advice. I did come out changes- in some good ways and some bad ways. But I think the biggest change was that I learned how to stop drifting through life, and keep my energy focised and moving forward. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/127 "2011-07-15T12:12:12Z")
I know you didn’t want to read dating books, but what you were saying about wanting to be the one in charge, cancel dates, be the pretty girl in a whirl of panting guys was reminding me of something…tickling a vague memory in my brain…aha! [The Rules](http://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446618799/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310731348&sr=8-1) I am not endorsing this. It’s pretty much the opposite of anything I’ve ever done. Just check it out, it’s really different from any advice you are ever going to get on the Dope. And it’s available for Kindle. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639/128 "2011-07-15T18:30:02Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > Just check it out, it’s really different from any advice you are ever going to get on the Dope. And it’s available for Kindle. One of these days I am going to sit down and write a book called “Breaking the Rules”. Rules girls are painfully obvious and guys can exploit many of the restrictions the rules reccomends to merrily do as they please and still keep the rules girl happy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-dating-coach/588639.md?page=6)