# Be My Pal **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2001, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472 "2001-09-24T11:31:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/81 "2001-09-26T20:22:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*So, **Lindy** , are you interested in learning my techniques? I’m available for tutoring… for a price… > \ \*\* Hey, wait a minute. This wouldn’t have anything to do with contracts signed in blood, would it? If so, does it have to be _my_ blood? Does it even have to be _human_ blood? What about ketchup? Other condiments? Help a guy out here… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/82 "2001-09-26T20:57:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > \*\*Hey, wait a minute. This wouldn’t have anything to do with contracts signed in blood, would it? \*\* Aw, c’mon, **Lindy** , read the name - _FairyChatMom_, fercryinoutloud… what in that name suggests blood? OK, so my dog did scratch my arm and it bled a little, but let’s not go off the deep end here. Just a hint - in my household, ominous music accompanies such processes as mowing the lawn, scrubbing the shower, or scooping the poop. Check out some of my posts - I’m nice, ya know? I have this reputation for being nice and all that crap. sheesh, blood… If you weren’t a _Pal of Rue_, I’d likely sniff derisively in your direction… Oh, yeah, that was lesson 1 ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/83 "2001-09-26T21:04:24Z")
> [@](#): > > **I couldn’t possibly be your friend, Rue, for I am so unworthy (note the post count). Can I instead be the lowly lackie that drivels on about how cool you are?** **T.Bunny** , in my life, I have pals, Special Friends and everybody else. You could be my pal, no prob. I don’t discriminate, your post count isn’t an issue. Come! Be my pal! > [@](#): > > \*Also posted by ThunderBunny \*\*\*::ThunderBunny uneasily eyes the IceWolf, remembering all the fairy tales he’s heard, and what wolves do to bunnies… \*\* Eyeing **Icey** is a good idea. Uneasily? Why? A bunny could do far worse than the ever-lovely **Ice Wolf**. Who wants to live forever? Live fast and die happy, that’s what I always say. (When I’m not saying “drivel”) -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![ThunderBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThunderBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThunderBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/84 "2001-09-27T02:37:18Z")
> [@](#): > > _Poingantly Posted by Rue DeDay_ > I have pals, Special Friends and everybody else. You could be my pal, no prob. I don’t discriminate, your post count isn’t an issue. ::ThunderBunny Melts Awww… ain’t that sweet. Rue, u da man. Quite the dude. Dude Rue. And since we’re pals, next time I see ya at the soda fountain I’ll buy you a big rootbeer float. Cuz pals do stuff like that. And IceyWolf is pretty easy on the eyes, from this angle. I have to grant you that. Just that she’s the kinda gal my mama warned me about! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/85 "2001-09-27T02:49:44Z")
**Rue** , this is apropos of nothing in this thread, but I was just wondering if, maybe around Halloween, you could do a light-hearted thread called _Murders of the **Rue** Morgue_. Just 'cause that’s what pals do, y’know? ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/86 "2001-09-27T03:23:51Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* \*\*I think I have a bunch of pals around here. **Jester** ’s my pal. And so is **Astroboy** , even though I kid him. A lot. **ShibbOleth** , and **Spritle** , and **Carina** , and **deepbluesea** , and **Ice Wolf**. They’re all my pals. At least I hope so. And **BunnyGirl** and **thinksnow** too. And **Mangetout** and **Bumbazine** and **SexyWriter** and **xizor** and **Bad News Baboon** , and **Another Primate**. \*\* **Rue** , Thanks for including a newcomer into your pal fold. (Or did you really mean, **Bad News Baboon** and “some other primate”? That sure would’ve covered all your bases… when folks complain that they weren’t mentioned, you could say, “Ah, but you are! You’re in the primate group!” -Sue p.s. Question is facetious. I know you really meant me. And if you did not, don’t tell me. It’s very comfy in my brain. p.p.s. Thank you for a very hearty Wednesday night laugh. Actually, several laughs. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/87 "2001-09-27T04:09:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Then toss out **bodypoet** as a diversion. Oh. A _diversion,_ am I? And a _tossed_ one at that. Hmmm. [intent look, deciding if this is a good thing or a bad thing] Well, I could divert, I suppose. I could read some poetry, as I am, after all, a **poet.** I could also tell stories about my kids, but you know how people get bored when they hear stories about other people’s kids. I could tell stories about soapmaking, but you know how people just look at you blankly when you talk about saponification and stuff. I could talk about my dogs, now people might _like_ that. Except my dogs are boring… How 'bout I just make some banana bread? Then you could beat a hasty retreat whilst everyone weeps in awe, in absolute _wonder_ of the heavenliest of breads. Now I just have to wait for these bananas to get over-ripe. Give me about three days, 'kay? ~karol ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/88 "2001-09-27T04:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\* > Just a hint - in my household, ominous music accompanies such processes as mowing the lawn, scrubbing the shower, or scooping the poop._\* Oh, OK. I’m just not used to ominous music being put to, um, nonominous events. [sub]disominous? subominous? antiominous?[/sub] I’ll try to do better in the future. And I already know you’re a nice person; I swear, it was just the ominous music. So what’s lesson two? Sneering? Damning with faint praise? Protesting too much? Lay it on me! I can take it! ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/89 "2001-09-27T04:53:04Z")
**ThunderBunny** , have no fear. While I am an admitted carnivore, I have not eaten, nor really have any intention of eating, bunnies. Your kind are cute, sweet and cuddly, and I’ll keep the wild cats away from you all, I promise. And **Rue** , you continue to say the nicest things, my dear man, when Ice Wolves feel a tad down. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/90 "2001-09-27T04:56:59Z")
I have to find a “hort”? What the Hell is a hort? Wait…I think I remember reading about a hort once. He was a big elephant who everybody loved. Until he started going crazy. First, he tried to nurse the egg of a bird friend of his, but he’s an elephant, for chrissakes. Squashed it flat. There was a lawsuit, and everything. Pretty ugly. (The lawsuit, that is. Not this “Hort” fellow. Though elephants ain’t exactly the best looking animals) Anyway, he was pretty much driven to drink by the whole thing, sad story really since he used to be such an upstanding young elephant. Then he started hearing the voices. Sure, he said that they were “Who’s”, telling him something about the evils of overdevelopment, but everybody knew that he’d finally dove off the deep end. (Not to be confused with deepbluesea). So, they locked him up in the nearest elephant-institution, and the last I heard of him he was sucking back enough medication for Phar-Mor to set up a branch in his stomach. So is that what you want me to find? A schizophrenic alcoholic elephant? Cause if that’s it, then it’s no sweat. If I had a nickel for every schizophrenic alcoholic elephant, I’d be rich. If you consider having one nickel to be “rich”. Because that’s how many I would have. One. And it would be wooden. Bastards always trying to rip me off… What were we talking about again? ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/91 "2001-09-27T12:31:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > **…I was just wondering if, maybe around Halloween, you could do a light-hearted thread called _Murders of the Rue Morgue_…** Let’s not minkey around with that, huh? Bad puns, what do you take me for? Alot more than it cost **Ice Wolf** to take me, I can tell you that right now, Bub. ( **Icey** , a comely lass from all angles.) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bodypoet \* > **Oh. A _diversion,_ am I? And a _tossed_ one at that. Hmmm. [intent look, deciding if this is a good thing or a bad thing]** You have to ask if it’s good or bad? Do you know where I’d have to put my hands for a good old fashioned tossing? A fun time had by all, bay-bee. > [@](#): > > _Also posted by bodypoet a little later_ > **I could tell stories about soapmaking, but you know how people just look at you blankly when you talk about saponification and stuff.** “Saponification”, yeah that reminds me of [something](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1541751#post1541751). (Link-ity link-ity.) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > **ThunderBunny…I’ll keep the wild cats away from you all, I promise.** **T.Bunny** , think about this deal before you go for it. **bobkitty** is one wild cat, and you wouldn’t want to be kept fron _her._ Trust me. But this would put you in the very capable paws… hands of the delectible **Ice Wolf**. Decisions, decisions… And **Jester** , you brought up the whole cohort business. I figuered you’d know what hort you wanted to partner with. It’s you’re call. [sub]'Nother, it was you. Oh yeah, baby, it was all you.[/sub] -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/92 "2001-09-27T14:33:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > > …I was just wondering if, maybe around Halloween, you could do a light-hearted thread called _Murders of the **Rue** Morgue_… > > Let’s not minkey around with that, huh? Bad puns, what do you take me for? **Rue** , Rue, Rue…you got me all wrong here. This isn’t about puns. This is about promotional tie-ins. Was I right or was I right about the [Action Figures](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87975)? Now in this case I see Television Special, maybe we go upscale with HBO, or if they don’t bite I can line you up a nice little Sunday Night gig on Fox. Promote it in breaks during their NFL Sunday sportscast. Maybe lead in with the Simpsons’ Halloween Special. And what’s with _minkey_, are you channelling Peter Sellers? ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/93 "2001-09-27T14:43:51Z")
Okay, obscure soapmaking info here…I just can’t resist. > [@](#): > > Saponification", yeah that reminds me of something. (Link-ity link-ity.) Shoot. I don’t know how to link yet. But anyway, this whole story is just too weird. I haven’t researched it enough to find out what _really_ happened, but: 1. A low temperature will reduce the chance of saponification, not increase it. The process produces heat; if you try to make soap in an environment of 45 degrees, my guess (and my experience) is that it wouldn’t work. 2. Salts + water do not equal soap. Oils (acid) + lye (base) = soap. Is salt a base or an acid? Water? Not sure. My chemistry only extends to the products I use, and I’ve never made soap from salt and water. Mostly, when I work with salt and water, I end up with saltwater. 😃 3. “Real” soap isn’t lighter than water. Real soap sinks. Unless you whip it, while it is still soft, with lots and lots of air. Then it is fluffy soap, which will float. Great link, **Rue.** I have to check this one out more thoroughly. Thanks! ~karol, crusader against soap misconceptions 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/94 "2001-09-27T15:02:04Z")
**Rue** , you’re so smart! Yep, I got the crappy Christmas birthday. Many years of birthday parties where most of my friends were out of town for the holidays, :: sob :: combination Christmas & birthday gifts :: sob :: oh, the horror. The horror. Thank heaven above my mother didn’t go with her instinct and name me Holly. That might have been too much to bear. I did end up with the middle name Noelle, but that’s much more subtle. Lord, look at the time, I must fly!! :: flips cape and heads to the RueMobile :: ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/95 "2001-09-27T18:33:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > > **Rue** , Rue, Rue…you got me all wrong here. This isn’t about puns. This is about promotional tie-ins. Was I right or was I right about the [Action Figures](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87975)? Now in this case I see Television Special, maybe we go upscale with HBO, or if they don’t bite I can line you up a nice little Sunday Night gig on Fox. Promote it in breaks during their NFL Sunday sportscast. Maybe lead in with the Simpsons’ Halloween Special. > > And what’s with _minkey_, are you channelling Peter Sellers? \*\* **Shibb** , baby, cookie, honey, sweetheart, darling. As Chief Counsel, Tame Lawyer and All-Around General Legal Eagle for **Rue DeDay** Enterprises and all bodies, entities, organizations, affiliates, subsidiaries, divisions, units and groups appurternant thereto, I must ask that you refrain from making propositions outside my presence. Please, if you’re going to be propositioning my client I need to be there so I may fully participate. [sub]Hmmm. . .that didn’t come out the way I intended. But I’m sure they won’t read anything into it. [/sub] Anyway, if you’d like to submit a treatment to me for review I’d be glad to sit down with **Mr. DeDay**. Rest assured that we will give the aforementioned matter the time and attention it so richly deserves. \*taps foot against big trash can next to Impressive Lawyer Desksup[/sup] \* Besides, I own the rights to **Rue’s** impressive, educational and entertaining life story. Production starts next week in Hawaii. He’s not from there and has never visited there in his life, but I was able to get an expense accoun. . .I mean, we’ve taken some steps to make the story more suited to a broader audience. Now, if you’d like to discuss the **Rue DeDay** Happy Meals I’m all ears. . . Zappo Frantically leafing through his book collection to see if there’s any of this “law” stuff in back issues of “High Times” ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/96 "2001-09-27T20:38:55Z")
I’ve got a lawyer-guy usurping my life and money-making enterprises. _And_ he’s talking about groups “appurterning” me. (Whatever the Hell _that_ means. I hope it involves oils. Maybe just nubile maidens.) But you know what? I don’t care. I’m just enjoying **scout** in her Scout Girl tights trying to get the Ruemobile’s doors unlocked. They stick honey! You’ll have to give it more body English! I could watch this all day. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/97 "2001-09-27T22:20:36Z")
:: jiggle :: dammit :: jiggle :: I…can’t…get…it…OPEN! Huh? What’s that? OH! You meant jiggle the KEY. Well no wonder. :: blushes :: ---
**Author:** ![ThunderBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThunderBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThunderBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/98 "2001-09-28T00:14:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally blurted by scout122_ > :: jiggle :: Good grief I can hardly see straight to type… (snort) Oh dear… (snicker) ok, ok, all composed again. I’m ready. Everything’s ok here. You can jiggle some more now. Go ahead. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/99 "2001-09-28T01:24:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*I’ve got a lawyer-guy usurping my life and money-making enterprises. _And_ he’s talking about groups “appurterning” me. (Whatever the Hell _that_ means. I hope it involves oils. Maybe just nubile maidens.) > > But you know what? I don’t care. > > [snip] > > -Rue. \*\* **Rue** baby, don’t worry about a thing. I got your back, dude! Would I lead you astray? Would I kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, slugger? [sup]Damn. . .did I say that out loud?[/sup] Anyway, don’t worry about a thing. You and **scout** go for a nice loooooooong ride. I’ll take care of everything. But before you go, could you sign a couple of blank checks and leave the keys to your Fantastic Swingin’ Pad? I, uh, er, ahhh. . .want to get the carpets cleaned. Yeah, that’s it. Remember, you can trust me. I’m a lawyer! Zappo ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472/100 "2001-09-28T01:27:38Z")
Alright, fine. I’ve abandoned the whole “cohort” thing. It all got too confusing. But hey, if **Zappo** gets to be your sleazy lawyer, can I be your personal security manager? I look good in leather and sunglasses, and sometimes I can be intimidating…if the light hits me at just the right angle…and the alleged attacker is really small and weak… Please? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/be-my-pal/83472.md?page=6)