# Beach Volleyball. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384 "2004-08-18T13:40:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![abbeytxs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@abbeytxs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abbeytxs)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/41 "2004-08-18T19:03:32Z")
I don’t really care what sports they include in the Olympics. In my opinion, all the pseudo controversies and the guarantee that the Americans will win a boatload of metals makes it a pretty dull event. However, if they are going to include beach volleyball and the official uniform for the women’s team is a skimpy bikini that just barely covers their butts, then I demand equal uniforms for the men! The guys were wearing shorts and t-shirts. What’s up with that? Put them in teeny Speedos that just barely cover their backsides and make sure the camera freeze frames on those backsides as often as possible! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/42 "2004-08-18T19:06:59Z")
The sport sucks. And the women are too flat chested and often a bit chubby. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/43 "2004-08-18T19:08:19Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I agree too. If I want soft-core porn, I HAVE the internet, thanks. I guess beach volleyball mildly irritates me because it’s just such obvious pandering. I realize the days of the Olympics being all about the athletic prowess and the spirit of competition and whatnot are long gone, but it just feels like a bunch of executive types sat around and tried to think of something to appeal to the Al Bundy types out there, and came up with beach volleyball. On the contrary, 17 years ago my roommate talked me into watching women’s volleyball. We tuned in expecting to see softcore porn. What we got instead was a real sport. Very little jiggling, very much strategy. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/44 "2004-08-18T19:11:03Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Yeah, _I_’m the one with something stuck my up ass. . . That reminds me! Why isn’t there an olympic sport fucking event? Sand would make it more challenging. Viewing the event could be a major pay per view cash cow. There are so many challenges inherent that I think it’s a sport whos time has come! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/45 "2004-08-18T19:13:46Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > The sport sucks. And the women are too flat chested and often a bit chubby. Wow, you’ve lowered the bar on shallow in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/46 "2004-08-18T21:05:32Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > But c’mon - even the fencing women were cuter than that. Yeah, that Sada Jacobsen was a real class act. Mmm. And she’s a Ivy League history major too. _drool_ I’m a sucker for a brain. One of the comentators made an interesting point yesterday. In regular volleyball you need six good players to make a team. In beach volleyball you only need two. For a big country like the US, six good players in no problem. But for others, especially where volleyball isn’t big, it can be impossible. **BobLibDem** , take that back! You’ve offended my first wife (Misty May) and I might just send my second one (Ms. Jacobsen) after you. Maybe Natalie Coughlin too just for good measure. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/47 "2004-08-18T21:15:58Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > Yeah, that Sada Jacobsen was a real class act. Mmm. And she’s a Ivy League history major too. _drool_ I’m a sucker for a brain. Yeah, I’d like to… never mind - fencing - too obvious ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/48 "2004-08-18T21:17:48Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > The sport sucks. And the women are too flat chested and often a bit chubby. Nice to see you admit you view women as nothing but sex objects. What a dick. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/49 "2004-08-18T21:55:27Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > Nice to see you admit you view women as nothing but sex objects. What a dick. Actually, wouldn’t it be all THESE people who were viewing them as sex objects? > [@](#): > > Jamlad > I think the rest of the Olympics should be sexed up, ratings would increase. Shit, I would stay up past my bed time to watch a naked weight lifter. > > Happy Scrappy Hero Pup > Any sport that gives us Misty May, dressed like that, deserves prime-time coverage and hourly updates. > > Sweet GOD, man! Near-naked women! Sweaty and breathing hard! > > Normally you have to pay for cable channels and stay up past midnight to get that. > > Philster > (I was drooling over Kerri Walsh’s never-ending legs. Logan Tom in Volleyball…) > > Greathouse > I agree. All of those women playing last night (or at least the ones I saw) were 10 pounds of sexy in a 5 pound bag. Damn fine sport. > > Philster > You know the Olympic babes are featured in this month’s U.S. Playboy, right? > > Greathouse > No. Seriously? I’ll be right back. > > ::runs down to the corner 7-11 to get a copy:: Just askin’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/50 "2004-08-19T04:40:35Z")
This thread demonstrates in extremely clear-cut fashion why it is the height of assholishness to demand that athletes compete in underwear. And all of you need to stuff your teeny weenies back in your pants. This wankfest is utterly unbecoming of the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/51 "2004-08-19T08:17:21Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Tennis was invented when the Romans would cut the gentials off their fallen enemies and swat them back at the armies as a method of demoralization. [Somebody begs to differ.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_304a.html) “Tennis originated in the 12th or 13th century in France, where it was called jeu de paume (“palm game”). It seems to have derived its present appellation from the French habit of called “tenez!” before serving.” Not that I’d play it, but even if it’s true the testicle-swatting thing would be very different from tennis, and just like some of these other variations of the same event, they require different skills. Why don’t you post about how many dozens of different swimming events there are? I mean, it’s all just having fun in a pool… ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/52 "2004-08-19T12:12:53Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > Nice to see you admit you view women as nothing but sex objects. What a dick. My apologies for joining two thoughts in one sentence. The sport sucks, but not because the women are woofers. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/53 "2004-08-19T12:39:30Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > My apologies for joining two thoughts in one sentence. The sport sucks, but not because the women are woofers. No need to apologize. They dress the women up in two square inches of fabric which has NO possible benefit to the competition itself, bring equally scantily clad CHEERLEADERS out onto the court, and then someone wants to criticize men for commenting on their appearance. This sport is marketed as 75% scantily clad women rolling around in the sand, 25% athletic competition. That’s how it’s MARKETED. The atletes know it. The TV knows it. The beach volleyball association knows it. A reasonable women might detest it, but don’t hate the playa because you hate the game. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/54 "2004-08-19T13:14:31Z")
Pro beach volleyball is a minor ESPN sport, Olympic beach volleyball just means that they’re running out of sports to add to the Olympics. Next Olympics we may be looking at Frisbie golf or something equally stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/55 "2004-08-19T13:47:13Z")
> [@](#): > > This thread demonstrates in extremely clear-cut fashion why it is the height of assholishness to demand that athletes compete in underwear. > > And all of you need to stuff your teeny weenies back in your pants. This wankfest is utterly unbecoming of the Dope. Oh, come off it. Nobody’s demanding anything of anybody. The original Games were held naked. And, lest we get off into a protofeminist argument, there are [no FIVB-mandated uniform standards](http://www.fivb.ch/EN/Volleyball/Rules/Rules.htm) for beach volleyball, so nobody’s forcing anybody to wear anything. We in the rowing world compete in form-fitting one-piece uniforms. We don’t HAVE to, but it certainly makes managing your oar handle(s) easier. Does that open us up to a little bit of “notice” from outsiders? Sure it does. But I’ll tell you this: I never cared about how pretty I was on race day- I had a race to win. So you can stare and giggle all you like, and if it makes you happy, so be it. I’m not noticing. And no elite athlete would either. If your biggest concern in competition is whether someone’s staring at your ass, you’re going to lose. Besides which, while I have met a few athletes who have had eating disorders or self-image issues, they’ve all been lightweights or coxswains, people for whom weight management is a competitive necessity. The self-esteem issues don’t generally come from outside perception, but of struggle to hit a number and still be a viable contributor to a crew. I don’t think a competitor like Misty May is worried about what a bunch of kooks on a message board think of her. You wear the uniform in which you compete best. And if Paul Reubens is in the crowd, “enjoying” how you look in your uniform, I doubt a real athlete would even be aware of it. So save the “poor women” pabulum for fashion models or actresses. Because real women don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/56 "2004-08-19T17:59:31Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Why don’t you post about how many dozens of different swimming events there are? I mean, it’s all just having fun in a pool… Heh - I can see the Olympic Committee sitting around discussing it: “The swimming events aren’t ‘edgy’ enough, what about Extreme Sick Bling Bling Hip Hop Thong Swimming?” ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/57 "2004-08-19T20:29:10Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Heh - I can see the Olympic Committee sitting around discussing it: “The swimming events aren’t ‘edgy’ enough, what about Extreme Sick Bling Bling Hip Hop Thong Swimming?” You want women in a thong bathing suit watch water polo. Not much bling bling though. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/58 "2004-08-19T20:47:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I demand equal uniforms for the men! The guys were wearing shorts and t-shirts. What’s up with that? Put them in teeny Speedos that just barely cover their backsides and make sure the camera freeze frames on those backsides as often as possible! No, no, no! Speedos\* should be reserved for serious swimmers ONLY because it looks like a bunch of marbles stuffed into a lycra bag. No exactly the stuff for fantasies. Nope, give me a man in shorts and t-shirts (or bare) anytime. There’s nothing finer than a sinewy, sandy professional beach volleyball player, IMO. \*I do like the new swimmers’ outfits (lycra unitards or pants that fit verrrry low on the hips) though I wonder how hard it is to remove those suckers at the end of the day. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/59 "2004-08-19T21:00:40Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > No, no, no! Speedos\* should be reserved for serious swimmers ONLY because it looks like a bunch of marbles stuffed into a lycra bag. Urp - I just invented a new event - Olympic _hurling_. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384/60 "2004-08-19T21:12:44Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Urp - I just invented a new event - Olympic _hurling_. It may not be played on ice, but I bet it involves a couple of guys with brooms. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beach-volleyball/260384.md?page=4)