Well that’s one of the benefits of a beard: a place to save snacks “for later.”
Daily maintenance? Zero. That’s most of the point! I really only have this thing because shaving every day is a pain in the ass.
I buzzcut my head once every month or so and at the same time I’ll slap on the biggest guard I have (#8 I believe) to trim the beard down a bit and even things out.
It’s the “flavor saver”!
I used to go over it with a trimmer when the fancy struck me. Now it’s maintained by a team of Mexicans that comes by once a week.
Kaiser Wilhelm II had a groomer whose sole task was to keep his mustache properly waxed, which seems a bit extreme.
Beard oil is pretty much just a leave-in conditioner, and can be the difference between a scratchy itchy beard that looks and feels like steel wool and a soft manageable one.
If you want to get a feel for what it can do for your beard, swipe a few drops of olive oil from the kitchen and massage/comb it in. It’s better to be on the dry side and want to add a bit more than to pour on too much and be all oily.
Speaking of combs, my recommendation is to get a wood or bamboo beard comb and leave the plastic combs in the drawer. Plastic combs have sharp edges between the teeth from the molding process, but the wood/bamboo ones are smoother and less likely to snag, scrape, or damage the hairs.
I keep running different beards depending on the season. What little shaving I do (I usually don’t have a mustache) is usually with an old straight razor and the rest with a good pair of barbers scissors.
Extreme?
If it were free, can you honestly say you’d turn the service down? Be honest.
I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I’ve done without.
I need a dedicated personal moustache waxer.
I have a full “Neck Beard”. It is soft & cuddly as the ladies around me often attest.
I do not work in an office environment, so what I look like is not as critical as it would be if I chose that lifestyle.
My maintenance routine is simple. Every month I shave the mustache off. Every three months, or so, I have the head cropped by a retired Marine who now cuts hair for a living. He leaves the beard about 1" long & the head is trimmed as short as possible. I look like a Mennonite Marine when he is done. I love it.
Beard oil? Heck, I just wash it, & the hair, with either Dawn dish washing liquid, or Irish Spring, depending on how I feel that day.
I have used this routine for over 35 years. It works well for me.
Currently I trim my beard and mustache every 2 weeks. I use a rechargeable trimmer, which I bought for around $30 a few years ago. It’s now discontinued. Here it is, but the price shown here is totally insane, so ignore it. https://www.amazon.com/Philips-Norelco-G370-Grooming-System/dp/B000FED5DU
It has worked very well for me.
Before that I used barber scissors. Sometimes I would also run my cartridge razor over parts of the beard.
I first started growing my mustache and Van Dyke beard on New Year’s Day, 1971. I shaved off the beard once in the 80s. I grew it right back. I don’t remember any itching then or when I first grew it.
Yeah, if I was fussing (or even thinking) about it more than this, I’d cut it off.
Beard oil? Beard trimmer? Beard glitter? Pfffft.
The whole point for me is to NOT be obsessing about my appearance, and therefore save time.
I guess I’m fortunate with not having any skin/dirt issues.
I remember my brother talking about the first time shaving off his beard and seeing all sorts of dead skin and cruft. And this guy was basically OCD about cleanliness.
Shaving mine off reveals clean skin. And I only do regular soap and water.
Is this cruft correlated with dandruff or anything? (Not a problem for me either.)
Unfortunately, this. I have an enormous unkempt full beard, complete with neckbeard, and yes, its because (originally anyway) I’m too lazy to shave regularly. I only trim it when I get a haircut every couple months or so (and will trim the mustache myself when I start filter-feeding). I wash it every day with same shampoo I use on my head. Beard oil? Never heard of it. Is that really a thing, of just some neo-hipster malarky?
Now the beard is part of my “look”, my colleagues expect it 
I had to completely trim and wear a suit a few months ago to talk to some government panels and people almost had a heart attack. I’m pretty much back to normal now.
This topic should not go zombie. Beard men want some discussion too.
My update.
3rd week. Oppression of the “surroundings” was so great so I started to trim my “beard” at a day 10 (instead of planned day 60).
Weak, sticky hedge half silver beard there. I now go for full circle beard. Daily trimmed. Let me go for couple of weeks more to see what happens.
Beard 40 years including neck and cheeks. Ingrown hairs terrible if I shave or buzz them. Trim for length every few weeks. Wash entire head w Dr. Bronners daily. Still trying to figure out if beard oil is a joke.
The joke is those guys using beard WD40, thinking they’re using beard oil.
For a truly low-maintenance beard, the John-Brown-raiding-Harper’s-Ferry model is highly recommended.
Brown was one of those dudes who looked scarier when he was clean-shaven.
The emergence of “beard oil” coincides with the rise of the silly hipster beard.
As for my non-hipster short beard, I trim under nose and corners of mouth with small scissors. Trim beard with Conair trimmer and #3 guard to even it out when necessary, maybe once every six weeks or so. Shave neck with cordless once it gets itchy, regular shampoo when needed. No oil, no pomade, no wax, no butter.
Well, the re-emergence. Ancient folks used oil on their beards all the time. I’ve found that using a few specialized products makes my (fairly large) beard feel softer and smell nicer.
Here’s the thing about hipsters: they often use really quality products in really pretentious ways. It’s possible to use quality products in non-pretentious ways, too.
Beard products are probably completely unnecessary if you keep a short trim, but past a certain length, I would highly recommend trying some of the stuff out.
Similar to this, same trimmer, #3 (except I trim about every 3 weeks) and the neck/cheeks get shaved daily. I also had not heard of beard oil until reading this thread.