# Beat my relative cooking story. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840 "2013-04-16T14:54:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/121 "2013-04-19T22:07:56Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > OK, fine. That would be quite salty and vinegary. But I do think I’m going to try that [cooks.com](http://cooks.com) recipe today with the flour, mayo, and milk just to see what happens. I have to admit, I actually can’t bring myself to this do. I went to the store with the intention of making this and, while I will be making a Bisquick version of it, I just can’t do the cup and a half of mayonnaise. That’s like 1500 calories right there. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/122 "2013-04-19T22:38:51Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > Anyway Dave had a way with food that did away with food. He’d heard about Duck l’Orange - hey, I hear you can put fruit in the main course, and it works! So he’s making the standard Male Meal of Spaghetti Bolognese and creativity strikes - add oranges! Sadly we don’t have oranges (I think bananas were the only fruit allowed through the front door) but we do have orange … [Tang](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tang_(drink)). You know, orange coloured and flavoured powdered sugar? So he puts Tang into the Bolognese sauce and serves. The more astute of you might have noticed there’s no mention any stirring of the sauce occurred at this point, since he didn’t seem to have done that. The experience of crunching into a solid ball of tart-sweet coagulated powder is not soon forgotten, let me assure you. This reminds me of the 30 Rock episode where Tina Fey is hanging out with Jon Hamm as the handsome guy who gets away with everything because of being beautiful: "Which means that Andrew Baird is blissfully unaware that he stinks at tennis, can’t draw, is a bad lover, that he doesn’t need reservations, and that he can’t cook. He whips up Salmon Bourguignon with Gatorade, which prompts this conversation: You can’t put Gatorade on salmon. Yes you can — the hot Italian lady from the Food Network told me so. Did she say it on TV? No, she said it to me when she jumped escalators to try to talk to me… Oh. " [http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/03/salmon-bourguignon-with-gatorade-on-30-rock-video/](http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/03/salmon-bourguignon-with-gatorade-on-30-rock-video/) ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/123 "2013-04-22T01:50:48Z")
Something upthread reminded me of another one, my then-SiL this time. She was what you might call a determinedly experimental cook; never does the same dish twice and will always use some exotic ingredient, regardless of how unpromising it may be nor how unfamiliar with its use she might be. Oh, and she was a skinflint, so cheapness of ingredients was a virtue to her. On this notable occasion she decided to feed her sister and I on crocodile. Except, crocodile being more expensive, she went with the cheaper cut - crocodile tail. And this being pre-internet days there was nowhere to look up how to deal with a meat she’d never seen before. I think it was the single most disgusting thing I have ever placed in my mouth, cauliflower included. It was vile, gelatinous, somewhat slimy, and I suspect grossly undercooked. Having bravely bitten into it once you didn’t want your teeth to touch it again, so you had to resort to cutting off small bits - kinda like carving a jellyfish, I’d imagine - and swallowing them whole. Except the mouth-feel was so disgusting my throat closed up in rebellion to even that; I had to admit defeat and feasted on watery vegetables instead. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/124 "2013-04-22T03:20:32Z")
Weird… I’ve had fried alligator before, and it’s not bad at all. It reminded me of a cross between chicken and fish in taste, with the texture of chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/125 "2013-04-22T03:22:01Z")
And most alligator you eat is tail meat. It’s where most of meat is in an alligator. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840/126 "2013-04-22T03:38:00Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Weird… I’ve had fried alligator before, and it’s not bad at all. It reminded me of a cross between chicken and fish in taste, with the texture of chicken. This wasn’t fried. I’m not actually sure how she did try to cook it (we’re talking over 20 years ago here, and I don’t believe I actually went into the kitchen) but definitely not fried. It was in a single whole piece, like a pot roast I guess. But yes, very undercooked chicken would I suspect have roughly the texture this did. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > And most alligator you eat is tail meat. It’s where most of meat is in an alligator. I should have added \* - some details may be interpolated for the sake of entertainment [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-my-relative-cooking-story/655840.md?page=6)