# Beat the Heat in the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432 "2014-06-23T10:03:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/101 "2014-06-25T11:11:56Z")
Fines for cutting the grass, the money to buy beer for the HOA. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/102 "2014-06-25T11:24:53Z")
There’d be no need for grass-cutting fines and we’d have weekly lawnmower races to do landscaping and foster good-natured competition at the same time! Or we could make Mumper Estates a nature preserve and never mow. Either way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/103 "2014-06-25T11:45:06Z")
Okay - so we redo the kitchen cabinets, paint some normal colors onto the walls, and fill the yard with cows and sheep. I think we’re golden. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/104 "2014-06-25T11:46:23Z")
Why would we want a yard full of cows and sheep? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/105 "2014-06-25T12:00:00Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Why would we want a yard full of cows and sheep? :eek: How else are you gonna have a steady supply of burgers and wool scarves? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/106 "2014-06-25T12:08:08Z")
If you want to cut the grass the natural way, you need goats. Anyway, I’m going in today to quit the part-time retail-hell job. It’s just not my bag, and it’s keeping me from doing more worthwhile stuff, like finding other clients and pursuing other projects. I’ve got something cooking that only requires seed money, and now that I’ve found a way to do it, just needs to get off the ground. This can be very big and it can lead to other things. I’m really excited about it! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/107 "2014-06-25T12:13:12Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > How else are you gonna have a steady supply of burgers and wool scarves? In civilized parts of the world, we have these things called “stores” where one can obtain all sorts of items! 😛 I might be OK with goats if they’re not stinky. Altho lawnmower races would be lots more fun! ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/108 "2014-06-25T12:47:49Z")
Happy Hump Day! ugh, It’s already hot and muggy this morning. I don’t need to go out so I’m not gonna. Although I should go buy some lottery tickets, take a chance on creating a Mumpers Estates? Just so y’all know though, I don’t mow lawns, that’s what teen aged sons are for. That and taking out the trash and carrying laundry upstairs. For the right amount of chocolate I could be persuaded to let **Flytrap** , **Spidey** and **Jim** catapult some critters towards **Swampy’s** cee-ment pond, however I could also be persuaded to install a net to catch such critters before they hit the water. I could play both sides against each other and be rolling in chocolate. 😃 Feel better **BBBobbio** ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/109 "2014-06-25T13:04:01Z")
I’m not a goat fan; when I was tiny our neighbours got a horrible nanny goat (they wanted milk- apparently they didn’t know that you needed the goat to make baby goats before milk was produced, so they never mated it), which decided its mission in life was to knock me over as often as possible, and eat all our flowers. Rotten thing. I want cows though, always wanted to make my own cheese. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/110 "2014-06-25T13:12:30Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > In civilized parts of the world, we have these things called “stores” where one can obtain all sorts of items! 😛 We are already falling out, like Stalin and Trotsky. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I might be OK with goats if they’re not stinky. Altho lawnmower races would be lots more fun! Especially if certain people fell down! 🙂 Oh Cute One, sheep eat the roots along with the grass. There would so be no lawn to mow. Not that this is a bad thing… ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/111 "2014-06-25T13:46:14Z")
My way to beat the heat is to stay inside. I have central a/c in my townhouse but my bedroom upstairs doesn’t cool off too well. Last summer I bought a portable a/c unit that sits inside but vents out the window. Best $350 I ever spent. I sleep so well. The hell summer of 2012 pretty much wore me down what with worrying about Bob the Wonder Pony. I miss him with every fiber of my being, but I’m thankful I don’t have to worry about him and the heat. In other news, I hooked up my new DVD player all by myself. Once I realized all I needed was an HDMI cord (since I joined the 21st century and have an HD teevee and DVD player) it was easy peasy. I’m still patting myself on the back. I really need a DVD/VCR combo, but the DVD player was new in box and free. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/112 "2014-06-25T13:51:41Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > If you want to cut the grass the natural way, you need goats. > [@Sahirrnee](#): > > For the right amount of chocolate I could be persuaded to let **Flytrap** , **Spidey** and **Jim** catapult some critters towards **Swampy’s** cee-ment pond, however I could also be persuaded to install a net to catch such critters before they hit the water. Nope, not gonna happen. Iffn we got a goat, the cee-ment pond needs to be repurposed as a holding pen for the squid for when ever [del]guests[/del] noobs show up! > [@Sahirrnee](#): > > I could…be rolling in chocolate. 😃 Kinky! 😉 Ya know, they have chocolate massages in Hershey. We **must** have a central square. Where else are we gonna hold our wet trout duels? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/113 "2014-06-25T14:08:19Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > We **must** have a central square. With a [cannon](http://www.executedtoday.com/images/Blown_from_cannon_India_detail.jpg)to blow miscreants from! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/114 "2014-06-25T14:16:05Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > There’d be no need for grass-cutting fines and we’d have weekly lawnmower races to do landscaping and foster good-natured competition at the same time! Or we could make Mumper Estates a nature preserve and never mow. Either way. 😃 > [@anyrose](#): > > Okay - so we redo the kitchen cabinets, paint some normal colors onto the walls, and fill the yard with cows and sheep. I think we’re golden. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Why would we want a yard full of cows and sheep? :eek: > [@swampbear](#): > > How else are you gonna have a steady supply of burgers and wool scarves? > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I might be OK with goats if they’re not stinky. Altho lawnmower races would be lots more fun! The cows and sheep, and okay, goats, are to keep the lawn neat and clean! ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/115 "2014-06-25T14:19:23Z")
So we will need towers, turrets, cee-ment pond, squid, goats, sheep, cows, trouts, chocolate, lawn mowers \ with more power \, town square, pub, dueling pistols, cannons, sharks, clown fish, catapults and mashed potatoes? Anything else I need to order from the store? ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/116 "2014-06-25T14:20:42Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > The cows and sheep, and okay, goats, are to keep the lawn neat and clean! I can assure you with cows, sheep and goats the yards will be anything but clean. I’ll add rubber boots to the shopping list. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/117 "2014-06-25T14:27:02Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Anything else I need to order from the store? Pie. And lots of it. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/118 "2014-06-25T14:32:46Z")
Up and caffeinated. Laundry this afternoon. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > **swampy** , I didn’t mean to suggest that the HOA would have any power or purpose, other than to provide a forum for fun meetings! 😃 Imagine the snarky rules we could develop and the fines we could institute! Nobody said we’d have to enforce them. Plus meetings provide a good excuse to get together and nosh, right? 😃 Rule 1. The HOA shall have no actual power Rule 2. Anyone seeking to change Rule 1 shall be …_appreciated_ by Lenny The Squidgoat. Rule 3. All fines and liens shall be payable in beerverages and chocolate. > [@MsRobyn](#): > > If you want to cut the grass the natural way, you need goats. > > Anyway, I’m going in today to quit the part-time retail-hell job. It’s just not my bag, and it’s keeping me from doing more worthwhile stuff, like finding other clients and pursuing other projects. I’ve got something cooking that only requires seed money, and now that I’ve found a way to do it, just needs to get off the ground. This can be very big and it can lead to other things. I’m really excited about it! Toats magoats?😃 and good luck on the project. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > With a [cannon](http://www.executedtoday.com/images/Blown_from_cannon_India_detail.jpg)to blow miscreants from! **Ruble** has that covered. Feel better **BBBobbio**! I had a friend who had her anemia cured by a hysterectomy, but I don’t think that would work for you. **FCM** , two words: Lawnmower Jousting.😃 **sari** , we need this [outfit](http://hogewash.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/frenchtaunt.jpg) so we may taunt people a second time. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/119 "2014-06-25T14:48:32Z")
Don’t forget the bees! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/120 "2014-06-25T14:53:58Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Don’t forget the bees! : gingerly adds beehive to shopping cart : [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432.md?page=7)