# Beat the Heat in the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432 "2014-06-23T10:03:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/121 "2014-06-25T14:55:22Z")
Adding bees, beehives, pies (all varieties), whipped cream, ice cream, Medieval helmets and gloves. May as well get a couple of stocks and pillories while I’m at it. Jousting poles. Iron pills. Oh good **Doggio** can handle the bees then. I’m allergic anyway. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/122 "2014-06-25T15:01:06Z")
Bad tooth has been drilled and filled. Now for a few days of it being peeved at me. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/123 "2014-06-25T15:09:38Z")
Rule 1: All rules, including this one, shall be null and void. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/124 "2014-06-25T15:17:51Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Feel better **BBBobbio**! I had a friend who had her anemia cured by a hysterectomy, but I don’t think that would work for you. Do you know the joke about the little girl _gleefully_ digging thru a room filled with, ummm, horse apples? When asked why she’s so happy, she replies with all this shit, there gotta be a pony around here somewhere! Let’s just hope that’s little girl didn’t grow up to become **Bobbio** ’s surgeon! :eek: **Sari** , please get some trout for the duels, we don’t want to actually _hurt_ anyone with the pistols. Well, ummm, except for **Flytrap** (but we already got the cannon for him)! ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/125 "2014-06-25T15:47:25Z")
{{{ **Gotti** }}} You always make me think of Mafia. I thought I had trout on my original list? I’ll double check. We need a big grill too. Have we decided where to establish Mumper Estates? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/126 "2014-06-25T16:15:45Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Have we decided where to establish Mumper Estates? I like 4 seasons, & my great-great-grandpappy wasn’t even here in 1880, let alone any earlier, so that means not too far south! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/127 "2014-06-25T16:21:08Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Have we decided where to establish Mumper Estates? I think Pennsylvania is nice - it’s got nice cities and great countrysides, four seasons, and it’s not far from shore or mountains (in fact, it has its own mountains) That way, MD & VA as well as NY, CT, and MA are close enough for them what wants. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/128 "2014-06-25T16:35:45Z")
N.O.L. time. Turkey sammich and canteloupe (can’t find my ladder). Havin’ livestock is all well and good. However, I caution against givin’ 'em names. That tends to make it harder to choke down the prime rib you knew as Bessie up until two weeks ago. 😃 We also need a moat and some moat monsters. We can name the moat monsters cause one does not eat one’s moat monsters. Possible names are Fluffy, Buffy, and Muffy. I was thinkin’ Nawth Keerliner as a possible location. Maybe we could work a land deal in Cottonfield County for a modest price. Then we could build Mumper International Airport/Teleport for those who’d feel the need to travel. **sari** we also need cakes and cookies. Oh and ice cream. Beer too! **WetOne** yay for new dvd player! **Rockin’** yay for quittin’ the big box gig! **gotti** healin’ tooth vibes! **MOOOOOOM** we need zero turn lawnmowers so we could form a precision lawn mowin’ team. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/129 "2014-06-25T17:07:59Z")
I’m all for the goats and if **nuts** will teach me to make cheese, I’ll show him how to make yogurt from the milk. **sari** , you may want to add water guns to the arsenal for the duels. That should keep us cool while the squid and clownfish are occupying the cee-mint pond. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/130 "2014-06-25T17:12:30Z")
**swampy** , alternative moat monster names are Larry, Curly and Moe (and little Shemp should they reproduce) or Groucho, Gummo and Harpo. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/131 "2014-06-25T17:15:09Z")
The Harvey’s sto’ has a deal on a rotissed chikin dindin. A chikin, two sides, and rolls for the paltry price of $6.99. Since I need to go to the sto’ for some milk and bread (no French toast emergency, just in need of milk and bread), the executive decision has been made that the Harvey’s sto’ shall make dindin tonight. Works for me! **Red** , **Nuts** is an innie not an outie. 😃 ETA: **Red** we can use all those names for moat monsters. One can never have too many moat monsters after all. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/132 "2014-06-25T17:26:23Z")
Those moat monsters had better be no-maintenance! After dealing with an aquarium lo these however many years, ain’t no way we need the crap, literal and figurative, that goes with maintaining a moat and its monsters!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/133 "2014-06-25T17:44:39Z")
Wine, **sari** , you have to get wine! I prefer White Zin, but I’ll drink a fruity white or a sweet red. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/134 "2014-06-25T17:54:32Z")
Many [oarfish](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2471572/Do-giant-sea-serpents-washed-Californian-beach-past-week-portend-looming-major-natural-disaster.html) have washed ashore recently. Perhaps they are seeking employment. As for maintenance, note that they attract children, a source of oarfish food. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/135 "2014-06-25T18:01:01Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Wine, **sari** , you have to get wine! I prefer White Zin, but I’ll drink a fruity white or a sweet red. You’ll have to try Duplin, then. The do sweet reds. **Moooommmmm** , we could fill the moat with crawfish. They’re self sufficient, and we can do moat monster boils as a bonus. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/136 "2014-06-25T18:06:22Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Since I need to go to the sto’ for some milk and bread (no French toast emergency, just in need of milk and bread), the executive decision has been made that the Harvey’s sto’ shall make dindin tonight. Works for me! I ran out of milk & bread this morning, & the eggs could be refreshed. Hmmm, iffn I buy French toast fixin’s doesn’t that mean it’s going to snow tonight? That’s how _I_ beat the heat. I was in the irk kitchen warshin’ at the sink when out of the corner of my eye, I watched a suicidal bag of Dorito’s jump! I guess it got stuck in the machine & finally succumbed to gravity\*. Yay for free Dorito’s! 🆒 - What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/137 "2014-06-25T18:29:49Z")
Okay okay I need to order towers, turrets, cee-ment pond, squid, goats, sheep, cows, trouts, chocolate, lawn mowers \ more power \, town square, pub, dueling pistols, water pistols, cannons, sharks, clown fish, oar fish, crawdads, catapults, mashed potatoes, bees and hives, rubber boots, pie (multiple flavors), ice cream, whipped cream, cake, cookies, coke, beer, wine (white zin), jousting lances, helmets, gauntlets, town square, airport and airplanes, and a maintenance free moat (with water, and a pump, to clean out the shit). Golf carts, have to have golf carts. I’ll get some butterfly bushes and lavender too, and Doritos and iron pills and rotisserie chicken with two sides and a drink, and a hot air balloon, and a bed and breakfast for the out of towners. ---
**Author:** ![Earth001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a6a055/32.png) [@Earth001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earth001)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/138 "2014-06-25T18:31:49Z")
I tend to stay indoors and drink lots and lots of water since I am in Vegas at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/139 "2014-06-25T18:58:01Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Okay okay > > I need to order > towers, turrets, cee-ment pond, squid, goats, sheep, cows, trouts, chocolate, lawn mowers \ more power \, town square, pub, dueling pistols, water pistols, cannons, sharks, clown fish, oar fish, crawdads, catapults, mashed potatoes, bees and hives, rubber boots, pie (multiple flavors), ice cream, whipped cream, cake, cookies, coke, beer, wine (white zin), jousting lances, helmets, gauntlets, town square, airport and airplanes, and a maintenance free moat (with water, and a pump, to clean out the shit). [del] **Golf carts, have to have golf carts** [/del]. I’ll get some butterfly bushes and lavender too, and Doritos and iron pills and rotisserie chicken with two sides and a drink, and a hot air balloon. We don’t need no stinkin’ golf carts (unless there’s a hill we can do [del]donuts[/del] roll 'em on). You’re ordering riding mowers & we should get some of [these](http://www.deere.com/wps/dcom/en_US/products/equipment/gator_utility_vehicles/gator_utility_vehicles.page); much more useful & fun. Oh, & please add Scotch, absolutely need some good Scotch! 😃 **Location:** Since we’re getting a hot air balloon (Thanks, **Sari**!!!), we shouldn’t be west of any congested areas/airports. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432/140 "2014-06-25T19:02:24Z")
I’m thinking if we go with one of the Carolinas we should be near the ocean. If we have enough money to build a Mumpers Estates we should be able to afford beach front property. That’s a shorter distance to transport all the water creatures. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beat-the-heat-in-the-mmp/691432.md?page=8)