# Because Clearly, Bobby Jindal can't be bothered to argue against real liberal positions **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 20, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462 "2013-06-20T14:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/1 "2013-06-20T14:05:48Z")
[http://www.politico.com/story/2013/06/bobby-jindal-opinion-gop-needs-action-92933.html](http://www.politico.com/story/2013/06/bobby-jindal-opinion-gop-needs-action-92933.html) > [@](#): > > At some point, the American public is going to revolt against the nanny state and the leftward march of this president. I don’t know when the tipping point will come, but I believe it will come soon. > > Why? > > Because the left wants: The government to explode; to pay everyone; to hire everyone; they believe that money grows on trees; the earth is flat; the industrial age, factory-style government is a cool new thing; debts don’t have to be repaid; people of faith are ignorant and uneducated; unborn babies don’t matter; pornography is fine; traditional marriage is discriminatory; 32 oz. sodas are evil; red meat should be rationed; rich people are evil unless they are from Hollywood or are liberal Democrats; the Israelis are unreasonable; trans-fat must be stopped; kids trapped in failing schools should be patient; wild weather is a new thing; moral standards are passé; government run health care is high quality; the IRS should violate our constitutional rights; reporters should be spied on; Benghazi was handled well; the Second Amendment is outdated; and the First one has some problems too. > > Their philosophy does not work and it got our nation into the mess it’s in. > > Eventually Americans will rise up against this new era of big government and this new reign of politically correct terror. In the meantime Republicans — hold fast, get smarter, get disciplined, get on offense, and put on your big boy pants. > > Read more: [http://www.politico.com/story/2013/06/bobby-jindal-opinion-gop-needs-action-92933.html#ixzz2WlTWqnyF](http://www.politico.com/story/2013/06/bobby-jindal-opinion-gop-needs-action-92933.html#ixzz2WlTWqnyF) And this from the guy who said that the GOP had to stop being the “party of stupid”. :smack: I think my favorite on that list is “pornography is fine” - it’s one of the only thing on the lists that isn’t totally bullshit, but what makes it really hilarious is the fact that he seems to be criticizing liberals for a stance held by pretty much all Americans and that is pretty much objectively true. Another great quote from the article: > [@](#): > > [they say (incorrectly) that] we need big data and analytics so we can optimize… …Big data? As in, "actually having analysts whose job it is to understand statistics look over the polling data, rather than having morons like Dick Morris basically come on and say they have a “feeling” that the polls are skewed? Yeah, actually operating off of facts rather than hunches _might actually help your party_ - but then again, when has the republican party ever taken that advice? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/2 "2013-06-20T14:09:47Z")
And Republicans think [porn is really fine.](http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html) > [@](#): > > However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/3 "2013-06-20T14:13:53Z")
Well, to be fair, I do hold a handful of those opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/4 "2013-06-20T14:15:29Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Well, to be fair, I do hold a handful of those opinions. Yeah, he had me at flat earth… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/5 "2013-06-20T14:20:06Z")
Wait, he thinks “the left believes the earth is flat”? The only thing I can imagine he is thinking of is a misinterpretation of Thomas Friedman’s book. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/6 "2013-06-20T14:20:53Z")
Wait. This genuinely confuses me. Flat Earth? What? That sounds more like a conservative position, rather than those radical progressives that insist upon a spherical Earth. If a Flat Earth was good enough for great-grandfather then, by golly, it is good enough for me. The GOP’s elephant is looking more and more like a mastodon to me. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/7 "2013-06-20T14:21:59Z")
Did a little analysis of the list on another forum… Here, let me bold everything on the list that no liberal has ever supported. Then, I’ll underline everything that liberals have supported with _large_ qualifying conditions attached. Then I’ll italics things that certain liberals have espoused but nobody within the democratic party have taken seriously. Then I’ll highlight in red things that if not formulated to be an obvious straw man would be accurate. > [@](#): > > Because the left wants: **The government to explode; to pay everyone; to hire everyone; they believe that money grows on trees; the earth is flat; the industrial age, factory-style government is a cool new thing; debts don’t have to be repaid;** _people of faith are ignorant and uneducated_; unborn babies don’t matter; pornography is fine; traditional marriage is discriminatory\*; _32 oz. sodas are evil_; _red meat should be rationed_\*\*; **rich people are evil unless they are from Hollywood or are liberal Democrats** ; the Israelis are unreasonable; trans-fat must be stopped; kids \*\*trapped in failing schools should be patient; wild weather is a new thing; moral standards are passé; \*\*government run health care is high quality; \*_the IRS should violate our constitutional rights; reporters should be spied on; **Benghazi was handled well; the Second Amendment is outdated** _; **and the First one has some problems too**. _It is discriminatory to refuse to marry two people who love each other on account of their sexual orientation. Nothing wrong with “traditional marriage” as such, it just needs to be expanded. \*\*Certain eco-warriors have supported this. They’re nuts and get no credence from the rest of the party or indeed most of modern society. Cut the ()()()(_), nobody is trying to grab your guns. _Nobody_. Notice what’s left after that. About half the list is not just wrong but straight-up fucking _loony_. Of what’s left, there’s: pornography is fine the Israelis are unreasonable trans-fat must be stopped Benghazi was handled well government run health care is high quality Of those, two are irrefutably true (anyone who wants to speak out against porn is nuts, and trans fats are, in fact, really _really_ bad for you), two are controversial opinions with evidence on each side of the debate on each side of the political spectrum (no, _really_, there is a lot of evidence on each side of the debates regarding Israel and government-run health care - in fact, the latter has fairly significant evidence given the high quality and popularity of care in Canada, England, Germany, France, Sweden, and elsewhere), and only one can actually be said to be false. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/8 "2013-06-20T14:41:54Z")
Even if everything he said was bang on true, it’s still not as stupid as thinking you can turn back time, to a kinder gentler world where minorities did not clamour for rights, gays stayed in the closets, women stayed at home and divorce was rare and taboo, every school child intoned a Christian prayer each school day and all was right with the world! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/9 "2013-06-20T15:41:11Z")
> [@](#): > > pornography is fine > [@](#): > > Second Amendment is outdated; and the First one has some problems too. Consistency? What’s that? ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/10 "2013-06-20T15:41:59Z")
Mr. Jindal proved himself to be a mendacious, pandering cocksucker in 2009, when he: 1. Pretended he thought volcano monitoring is a stupid thing that governments shouldn’t do 2. Overstated the amount to be spent on it by approximately 1900% There is no reason to bother listening to anything he says ever again. Back of the envelope math says I spent 1250 times as much on HBO (not cable, just HBO) last year as I did on volcano monitoring, via federal taxes. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/11 "2013-06-20T15:59:59Z")
Eruptile disfunction. There’s an app for that. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/12 "2013-06-20T16:03:19Z")
He’s still around? I thought he’d slunk off for good after that disastrous State of the Union rebuttal where he came off like Mr. Rogers with Down syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/13 "2013-06-20T16:06:58Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Wait, he thinks “the left believes the earth is flat”? The only thing I can imagine he is thinking of is a misinterpretation of Thomas Friedman’s book. Which book the left don’t think much of, really. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/14 "2013-06-20T16:10:12Z")
When Bobby Jindahl is the ‘smart one’ in your party, you’re pretty much fucked. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/15 "2013-06-20T16:10:34Z")
> [@Furious\_Marmot](#): > > There is no reason to bother listening to anything he says ever again. Indeed. So, do you think he’ll get the GOP nomination in 2016? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/16 "2013-06-20T16:16:28Z")
What is clearly happening is that Jindal is locked into a life-or-death struggle against evil liberal demons from another dimension that only he can see! Instead of laughing at him yelling at phantoms, we should be trying to find the portal to their dimension so that we can close it off and end this threat once and for all! ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/17 "2013-06-20T16:18:26Z")
I hope he’s at least in the running for a while, it would be comedy gold. You can’t underestimate the intelligence of the electorate, but you sure look silly trying to aim lower than the other guys. It was loads of fun mocking Bill Clinton for apparently thinking we wanted to hear that he was either to stupid to figure out how to smoke a joint or that he pretended to smoke a joint. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/18 "2013-06-20T16:27:29Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Indeed. So, do you think he’ll get the GOP nomination in 2016? Not yet. It won’t be his turn. But he may run in 2016 to set himself up for a 2020 nomination. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/19 "2013-06-20T17:06:20Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > What is clearly happening is that Jindal is locked into a life-or-death struggle against evil liberal demons from another dimension that only he can see! Instead of laughing at him yelling at phantoms, we should be trying to find the portal to their dimension so that we can close it off and end this threat once and for all! Unfortunately, that portal happens to be the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462/20 "2013-06-20T17:21:04Z")
ISTM he’s campaigning for the office of 2016 Pandering Token Running Mate, followed by taking over for Palin on Fox. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-clearly-bobby-jindal-cant-be-bothered-to-argue-against-real-liberal-positions/661462.md?page=2)