# Because everyone knows Arabs don't surf **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934 "2003-02-05T13:10:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/1 "2003-02-05T13:10:05Z")
So we just took a report of a suspicious vehicle on the highway. It went, so far as I can recall, as follows: Caller: Yeah, this is an emergency! Other dispatcher: Okay, what’s going on? C: I’m on highway \*\* behind a dark green car, and the license plate says \*\*\*\* out of the state of \*\*, and there’s surfboards strapped on top of the car, and the passengers look like they’re Middle Eastern! (At this point I began snorting convulsively and was forced to disconnect and let the other operator take the rest of the info alone - it was on her phone anyway) OD: Um, okayyy… C: It just doesn’t look right! OD: Okay, well, let me transfer you through to State, hang on… She transferred the call and hung up. We looked at each other. Did that really just happen? We played back the tape. Yep. It did. I’m dumbfounded. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/2 "2003-02-05T13:11:56Z")
You laugh. but they may have been surf boards of mass destruction fresh from Iraq. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/3 "2003-02-05T13:12:27Z")
And I always though it was Charlie that don’t surf. Maybe the caller had been in [Australia](http://www.thesundaymail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,5922322%255E903,00.html), looking at fridge magnets. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/4 "2003-02-05T13:22:31Z")
There are seemingly a thousand things I could say. None of them seem adequate. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/5 "2003-02-05T13:44:25Z")
Oddly enough, I’m getting Sam the Sham flashbacks… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/6 "2003-02-05T14:06:54Z")
They were probably going [sand surfing](http://www.thrillseekersunlimited.com/Vsandsurfing.htm) ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/7 "2003-02-05T14:21:08Z")
\ Well, Eastern girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear And the West Bank girls with the way they talk, they knock me out when I’m over there. The oil-rich Saudi daughters really make you feel alright. And the Afghan girls with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriends warm at night. I wish they all could be al- Qaeda girls. I wish they all could be al- Qaeda girls. I wish they all could be al- Qaeda girls…… \ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/8 "2003-02-05T15:35:18Z")
_Knock Knock. Who’s there? Land Allah._ ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/9 "2003-02-05T17:31:26Z")
Never mind that they were Middle-Eastern. Where the heck does one surf in Missouri? (looking at the OP’s “Location”) I thought you needed something the size of an ocean (or the Gulf of Mexico) to get surfing-level waves. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/10 "2003-02-06T05:02:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cmkeller \* > **Never mind that they were Middle-Eastern. Where the heck does one surf in Missouri?** Hey now, you get a herd of cattle wallowing in a farm pond, those creatures can stir up quite a few waves. The license plate the caller gave us was from a state where surfing occurs with abandon. (Oh, what the hell. It was California.) My best guess is they were college students heading someplace warm. Or maybe terrorists transporting plastic explosive filled surfboards o’death to a key Missouri landmark. \*wanders away picturing Osama Bin Laden racing down the beach in his Bermuda shorts and zinc nose-ointment, surfboard held high over his head, ready to “hang-10”… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/11 "2003-02-06T05:22:25Z")
They must have gotten all cornfused about the FBI’s rumblings about terrorist SCUBA divers last May. Silly bunts. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/12 "2003-02-06T08:35:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Maybe the caller had been in [Australia](http://www.thesundaymail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,5922322%255E903,00.html), looking at fridge magnets. \*\* We have _got_ to do something about our government… ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/13 "2003-02-06T08:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tavalla \* > \*\*We have _got_ to do something about our government… \*\* Want us to take control again old bean? Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves… ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/14 "2003-02-06T09:12:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*Want us to take control again old bean? > > Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves… \*\* Any country that keeps **Neighbours** and **Home and Away** on the air isn’t fit to rule squat. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/15 "2003-02-06T09:28:49Z")
Just pray to God that you never have to sit through an episode of **Emmerdale Farm** ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/16 "2003-02-06T10:19:52Z")
Yeah NZ used to have Emmerdale Farm on but I’ve never seen it in Australia. It’s bad, very bad. And dull. Very dull. Exceedingly dull. Oh my. I missed that article in the Sunday Mail. I must read it more carefully. I was too busy trying to reconcile how Kylie can flash that much arse and still claim to be shy. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/17 "2003-02-06T10:23:30Z")
Oh yes, who put the KY in Kylie … ? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/18 "2003-02-06T11:17:08Z")
OMFG, I just actually READ the ‘Lets Look Out for Australia’ kit that includes our now infamous fridge-magnet, and it is soooo freakin’ funny I thought I might share a gem or three with ya. **Possible Signs of Terrorism** _usual videotaping or photography of official buildings or other critical infrastructure"_ Every day there are hundreds of tourists taking snaps and videos of our ‘official buildings’…how are we meant to figure out which ones are unusual?? Of course, all of the tourists are ‘foreign’ (otherwise they wouldn’t really be tourists would they) so how can I pick the really evil ones? _Suspicious vehicles near significant buildings or busy public places_ Well, duh, if they are significant and/or busy, the chances are there will be heaps of vehicles around them. They also mention cars that are out of rego, or with dodgy plates, but that includes half of my friends. (G’day Dan, you mangy terrorist you!! :D) _Suspicious accomodation needs_ Huh? What’s so suspicious about renting a garage when carparking in the inner burbs is at a premium? Should I report the punter who rolls up to rent a three bedroom house when he’s only got one kid? _A lifestyle that doesn’t add up_ Well, _that_ says a lot doesn’t it?? NOBODY I know has a ‘lifestyle’ that ‘adds up’ in the conventional sense. And the last classic… _False or multiple identities_ So that means that most kids under 18 are prolly terrorists because they have forged ID’s/fake concession cards and the like. All I can do is groan in abject humiliation. Lord, deliver us from such morons as John Winston Howard will ya? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/19 "2003-02-06T11:17:26Z")
Ok, now I got something. Maybe they had been watching “Top Secret!” earlier? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934/20 "2003-02-06T11:25:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*\ > > Well, Eastern girls are hip > I really dig those styles they wear > > And the West Bank girls with the way they talk, > they knock me out when I’m over there. > > The oil-rich Saudi daughters > really make you feel alright. > > And the Afghan girls with the way they kiss, > they keep their boyfriends warm at night. > > I wish they all could be > al- Qaeda girls. > I wish they all could be > al- Qaeda girls. > I wish they all could be > al- Qaeda girls…… > \ \*\* Oh, and just by the way **London\_Calling** , I think your version is better than the original. I’ll never be able to hear that song again without bunging in…“I wish they all could be al-Qaeda _giiiiiiiiiiirls_”. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-everyone-knows-arabs-dont-surf/152934.md?page=2)