# Because it had to happen...Batman vs Jason Bourne **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985 "2013-08-23T17:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/1 "2013-08-23T17:43:46Z")
With today’s Batman news, it seems inevitable (Click here if you’ve spent the day in a cave) To make it a fair fight, Batman is not carrying his utility belt (so he can’t suddenly produce a never-before-mentioned-Bat-Anti-treadstone device) Place your bets… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/2 "2013-08-23T17:47:10Z")
Which version of Batman (various comic book versions, movie versions, TV verstions exist)? And… is he prepared? ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/3 "2013-08-23T17:52:28Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Which version of Batman (various comic book versions, movie versions, TV versions exist)? And… is he prepared? Pick your own, I guess. I’m calling Bourne vs Adam West as a win for Bourne Batman is prepared (in as much as he’s trained), and may even be aware of Treadstone, but seeing as Bourne is generally unarmed, I think we have to ban him from using Bat-toys ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/4 "2013-08-23T18:03:44Z")
The two heroes square off, trading barbs as well as blows. Bourne insults the Dark Knight’s outfit, and Batman insults the rogue assassin’s ethos. Before long, the millionaire crime-fighter and the amnesiac special agent realize that they have a great deal in common, and agree to band together to fight crime and corruption in Gotham. Batman takes the young Bourne under his wing, and makes a few costume [suggestions.](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013723/rs_560x415-130823062602-560.matt.ben.83312.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.eonline.com/news/451735/ben-affleck-as-batman-casting-faces-backlash-but-should-matt-damon-play-robin&h=415&w=560&sz=59&tbnid=224Z89vEjP2UpM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=121&zoom=1&usg=__eoINTOEA1OltaE_Bw2tbZtlFYn8=&docid=tkULZe79LK9-cM&sa=X&ei=kaIXUrmPGefB2wW_h4HQCQ&ved=0CFEQ9QEwBA&dur=963) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/5 "2013-08-23T18:18:09Z")
Golden Age Batman - Bourne probably wins. Silver Age Batman - See G. Orr ^^^^^ Bronze Age Batman (or present) - Batman will use psychological tricks. This, plus the fact he’s considered one of the Top Ten martial artists in a universe with superpowers, makes him the winner. TV - Adam West - Bourne wins (but it’s funny). TV cartoons - Batman always wins. Tim Burton series Batman - Bourne wins. Christian Bale series Batman - Both are KO’d. IMHO, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/6 "2013-08-23T18:29:24Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Bronze Age Batman (or present) - Batman will use psychological tricks. This, plus the fact he’s considered one of the Top Ten martial artists in a universe with superpowers, makes him the winner. In his universe. Bourne lives in the Bourniverse, so wouldn’t have been in the list. Besides which, top ten means there are potentially nine guys that can beat him ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/7 "2013-08-23T18:37:32Z")
> [@Bakhesh](#): > > In his universe. Bourne lives in the Bourniverse, so wouldn’t have been in the list. Besides which, top ten means there are potentially nine guys that can beat him I suspect the prof’s point was that in the DC universe there are nine people who can beat Batman in a fight, but more than nine people who are literally superhuman. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/8 "2013-08-23T18:57:09Z")
> [@Bakhesh](#): > > In his universe. Bourne lives in the Bourniverse, so wouldn’t have been in the list. Besides which, top ten means there are potentially nine guys that can beat him Exactly. We have to decide which universe they engage in. I say assume our present universe so neither has the advantage. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/9 "2013-08-23T19:38:11Z")
Batman would kick Bourne’s ass. Bourne might make a good Robin though. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/10 "2013-08-23T19:40:45Z")
I agree, in THIS universe, Batman, even without his gadgets, would kick Bourne’s ass. It comes from decades of practice in knocking out/disabling psychopathic killers, hoodlums, etc., even without the superpowers. If he has intel on Bourne he’ll play the psychological game as well. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/11 "2013-08-23T19:46:29Z")
The Jackal. ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/12 "2013-08-23T19:53:46Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > The Jackal. But he got killed by a henpecked French police inspector. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/13 "2013-08-23T20:10:25Z")
> [@gazpacho](#): > > But he got killed by a henpecked French police inspector. CHIEF Inspector. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/because-it-had-to-happen-batman-vs-jason-bourne/666985/14 "2013-08-23T20:11:29Z")
Yeah, gotta go with Batman. He’ll lose a lot of blood, tho. And some teeth. And Robin.