Beckdawrek and the bad, bad, bad deer camp experience(or another year keeping my mouth shut.)

Put a couple tampons in just in case they get curious enough to open it. They’ll close that lid right quick.

Yanno, DesertDog, that’s a good idea. The tool box could be used as training for next season. Instill a pavlovian response to the color and decoration scheme so that they leave her cooler alone.

See Beck? It’s all about the psychology.

Gimme a bit and I bet we can come up with a portable handwash station they will be bragging about having and using on these trips to everyone.
a marine? Did I know this already and just forgot? There’s something useful there, just gotta think about it…

Um. That’s a deer camp. It sounds about like ours. Maybe cleaner. Just substitute Whiskey and Weed for the beer. Maybe that’s why no female members of the family set foot at camp during deer season. Any other time of the year is fine because then it’s not deer camp…just camp.

A group of us used to camp together every Memorial Day weekend. One year, an attendee’s coworker asked if she could borrow a friend’s tent and join in on the fun.

The first morning, everyone except new girl woke up with the sun. I got the coffee going and someone else began breaking eggs. Joints were being passed as we all sat around the fire, drinking coffee and beer.

When new girl woke up and left her tent, everyone turned to look in unison. She was wearing pajamas under a big, fluffy robe, with big poofy slippers on her feet. She had spent time in her tent applying make up, while none of the other wives/gfs even brought any. We were all in the clothes we’d slept in. She realized how out of place she was and started crying, then went back into her tent.

When she came back out of her tent she was dressed. She disassembled her tent, packed up, and drove off without saying a word other than an occasional sob/sniff. We were all too weirded out/high to say/do a thing.

Yes. 2 tours to the Middle East. That’s my boy!

Good thinking.

Sam’s Club sells Clorox in a box: three giant bottles inside. It’s commercial grade, stronger than the household stuff.

See how many boxes are in a pallet.

All Deer Camp denizens must shower, gargle, and do any other body-cleaning activities with straight-from-the-jug Clorox. All Deer Camp clothing, tents, utensils, dishes, knives, guns, ammo, and other accoutrements must be soaked in undiluted Clorox. All coolers will be filled with Clorox and left opened, outside, until they no longer smell like a morgue.


~VOW- I love it when you talk dirty!:):slight_smile:

(seriously, I love that ‘good’ bleach)

I’ve been hearing huge booms all afternoon. The deer hunters are discharging their Muzzleloaders before heading home. It’s a sad lonely sound. It means they didn’t get their deer. And…the season has ended for many. Unfortunately it has just begun for us year-round residents.

This isn’t for Beck because she has to live it, but YouTube has a passel of Red Green Shows.

I’ve groan to appreciate the humor of the Red Green show as I’ve gotten older

Beck, how’s your DI imitation, can you channel R. Lee Ermey?

Oh, Dork. My Daddy was a Marine Corps. DI.
I grew up with the ‘Sarge’
My kids tell of my boot camp clean -ups. I was a pretty soft touch as a ‘Mom’. But clean-up brought out the ‘Mother’ in me!

I’ve seen quite a few of those, but I never knew that he’d ever been that young. :smiley:

Beck, have you ever considered writing a novel?

Add a few Hello Kitty stickers and it should be impervious.

Novel, my eye. Truth is stranger than fiction. :slight_smile:

It doe-s get cooked right? [del]You’re[/del] they’re not eating venison tartare.

Well then you have experience and practice.

Excuse me a minute

La la la la laaaaa
Ahem, hemph hack hack aaarrrheremm
La la la la
<ooooohhhhhhmmmmm chaaannneeellliinnnggg Driiillll Iiiinnnnssyrrruuucttoooorrrr. Beeeckddaaaaawrrŕrreeeeckkkk oooooohhhhhhmmmm>

WHAT IS THIS? WHY ARE THERE DIRTY SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR UNDER YOUR COT? AND WHAT IN SAM HILL IS WRONG WITH THAT COOLER? IT SMELLS LIKE TWO MONTH OLD CORPSES HAVE BEEN[COLOR=“DeepSkyBlue”]BEEP BEEP BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEPFOR A WEEK IN JULY! ARE YOU PLANNING ON PUTTING VENISON IN THAT COOLER SON OF A WRECK? ARE YOU PLANNING ON EATING FOOD OUT OF A COOLER THAT HAS HAD MONTH OLD CORPSES BLEEEEEEPING BLEEPING IN IT FOR A WEEK IN JULY WITHOUT CLEANING IT FIRST? My GOD Son of a wreck, you will NOT bring that two month old corpse bleeping cooler meat into MY home to be eaten. Son of a wreck, you WILL go wash your hands using these disinfecting wipes, you WILL empty and clean that cooler using this disinfecting bleach! My GOD boy, I may be your Mama, and I will Love You and Feed you and Care about you but I am NOT here to endure this filthy and bleep bleep bleeppigsty you call a bleeping bleep bleep bleeping bleepdeer camp [/COLOR]

Its sorta not funny and sorta is. I’d love to be a fly on the venison if you were to lay that on them

Don’t I know it! But a roman à clef where the names are changed, like your essays here, could make you the Fannie Flagg of the New Twenties.