# "Becoming Alpha"? Check your humanity at the door. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941 "2010-07-08T07:53:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/61 "2010-07-09T10:13:41Z")
…brought over the border in a bag. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/62 "2010-07-09T11:43:25Z")
…roasted over a medium flame. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/63 "2010-07-09T11:45:41Z")
I like it. It’s just a blog. There is something inherently funny about “game” and reducing women to simple minded objects of sexual lust. When I was a loser beta male I used to take this stuff seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/64 "2010-07-09T12:00:14Z")
I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and sealed in a wooden barrel. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/65 "2010-07-09T12:26:44Z")
I like my women like I like my rum; 15 years old and full of coke. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/66 "2010-07-09T13:03:18Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > I thought men also like confident women, or so I have been told. I am sure somebody constantly seeking approval and needing crutches to do anything would get tiresome really fast, however hot. I don’t need a LOT of confidence in a woman, particularly, so much as I need “self-assurance”–as you describe, I don’t really want to be anyone’s crutch or prop. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/67 "2010-07-09T13:04:25Z")
I like my women like I like my coffee–my wife enjoys it every morning while I sip my tea and make small talk? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/68 "2010-07-09T13:12:27Z")
…sweet, hot, and full of cream. ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/69 "2010-07-09T13:35:51Z")
Oh yeah? Well, I like my men like I like my prime rib…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/70 "2010-07-09T13:52:32Z")
> [@heatmiserfl](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, I like my men like I like my prime rib…😃 …grilled medium rare with some mushroom gravy? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/71 "2010-07-09T13:55:38Z")
> [@heatmiserfl](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, I like my men like I like my prime rib…😃 … tough, thick, and with one red eye? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/72 "2010-07-09T14:01:40Z")
> [@heatmiserfl](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, I like my men like I like my prime rib…😃 … wrapped in plastic and shoved into the fridge? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/73 "2010-07-09T14:09:57Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Is this real, or is it some Walter Mitty Masturbat-a-thon? I could totally see it as some poor schlub’s fantasy world. Funny, but the name “Walter Mitty” ran through my head too. The whole “Game” thing is all marketing bullshit; the book is presented as biographical but is obviously all made up. This appears to be just a blog copy. The guy’s stories are ninety percent horseshit. Of course, it absolutely is true that confident men are more successful than wimpy ones. But the real sweet spot is where Zeriel plants it; **be a confident gentleman.** If a man really wants to score with the super high quality ladies, that’s what he has to be; confident, an alpha male, but a nice gentleman at the same time. I’m not saying that’s easy to do, but that is where it’s at. And you can’t learn it from any book I know to exist. “The Game” and other such stuff are aimed at schlubs. Those things appeal to losers who can’t get laid. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/74 "2010-07-09T14:17:55Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I’m not saying that’s easy to do, but that is where it’s at. And you can’t learn it from any book I know to exist. “The Game” and other such stuff are aimed at schlubs. Those things appeal to losers who can’t get laid. Well, to be fair, only guys who can’t get laid are going to be reading a “how to get laid” book in the first place - other than for amusement. 😉 To my mind, such fellows truly cross over into loser-dom when they agree to act like jerks in order to basically fool women into sleeping with them - whether or not it works (and I’m guessing it only works in a placebo manner - in that if a guy _thinks_ it works, he’s more likely to actually ask women out and gain a little confidence - in short, it ‘works’ just as well as selling 'em magic woman-attracting sugar pills. With the added disadvantage of turning the user into more of a loser and asshole than they otherwise would be, of course) ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/75 "2010-07-09T14:35:27Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > …grilled medium rare with some mushroom gravy? Yes. > [@](#): > > … tough, thick, and with one red eye? YES! > [@](#): > > .. wrapped in plastic and shoved into the fridge? **YES!!!** Wait, what’s the fridge supposed to mean? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/76 "2010-07-09T16:41:44Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > The takeaway is that you shouldn’t be surprised that: [**even sven** quote] Dude, **even sven** ’s talking about white guys hitting on local girls _in Western China_. However great the success of the jerks she describes, that’s a pretty exceptional environment, and success there doesn’t exactly translate to a likelihood of similar success in a more prosaic setting. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/77 "2010-07-09T16:54:16Z")
The conversation has developed in an enlightening way, I think. This is no ordinary nice guy/slut/alpha/jerk thread. I want to put a bug in y’all’s ear, though, about _confidence._ Self-confidence is not confidence. If you want your conversations to go further than a phone number on a napkin, you need to show confidence in _life._ You need to demonstrate that you are an effective, motivated, and worthwhile human being. You don’t need to be a perfect superachiever. But you need to be involved in - and committed to - _something that matters to other people_. You also need to at least suggest that you are reliable, that you produce, and that you deliver. We live in a world that is ruled by production, routine, and work. Whatever you do for a living, you need to be a _professional human being_. You need to show that you accept that world and don’t refuse its demands. That is confidence in something outside yourself and in life, as understood in our time. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/78 "2010-07-09T17:01:46Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I like my women like I like my coffee : COVERED IN BEES ! I like my men like I like my coffee: hot, sweet, and fair trade. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/79 "2010-07-09T17:16:22Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > … tough, thick, and with one red eye? Thass hawt. > [@Malthus](#): > > \it ‘works’ just as well as selling 'em magic woman-attracting sugar pills. \ I think I just thought of a money-making venture. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941/80 "2010-07-09T17:21:04Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > But the real sweet spot is where Zeriel plants it That’s what \*SHE \*said. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/becoming-alpha-check-your-humanity-at-the-door/545941.md?page=5)