# BEEP! Beep. Beep BEEP. BEEEEEEP!......beep beep....BEEP!! BEEP BEEP!!! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802 "2012-10-25T05:05:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/21 "2012-10-25T16:56:39Z")
Mr. **Spectre** , I once lived in a 4-unit apartment next to a “bad apartment building” that would have a honker in front of it every two weeks or so. Eventually I developed the technique of walking outside with a concerned look on my face and asking, "Is everything okay? " or “Do you need some help?” It worked. The people in the car would mumble apologies and usually go up to the front door. Presumably they didn’t know it wasn’t a “honk at will and at length” neighborhood, and as soon they realized it the situation resolved itself. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/22 "2012-10-25T17:25:07Z")
From the title, I thought someone had finally pitted the Roadrunner. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/23 "2012-10-25T17:33:03Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Mr. **Spectre** , I once lived in a 4-unit apartment next to a “bad apartment building” that would have a honker in front of it every two weeks or so. > > Eventually I developed the technique of walking outside with a concerned look on my face and asking, "Is everything okay? " or “Do you need some help?” > > It worked. The people in the car would mumble apologies and usually go up to the front door. Presumably they didn’t know it wasn’t a “honk at will and at length” neighborhood, and as soon they realized it the situation resolved itself. That’s brilliant. Elegant in it’s simplicity. My suggestion was going to be “Get an air horn and start a honking war.” ---
**Author:** ![Reyemile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@Reyemile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reyemile)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/24 "2012-10-25T17:57:59Z")
Are you sure this was a person and not a car alarm? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/25 "2012-10-25T18:03:49Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > Saw a cartoon in The New Yorker in which two guys are in a car in the middle of a huge traffic jam. One says to the other, “Why don’t you try honking again?” That must have been a reader submission punchline, because that one’s actually pretty funny! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/26 "2012-10-25T18:21:16Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > That must have been a reader submission punchline, because that one’s actually pretty funny! Probably submitted by Ziggy. That or Elaine Benes. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/27 "2012-10-25T18:26:07Z")
> [@Reyemile](#): > > Are you sure this was a person and not a car alarm? If it was a car alarm, the thread title would be pretty different. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/28 "2012-10-25T18:29:59Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Wry and understated humor actually. Some of us are humor-challenged to the point we actually find one line of this type funnier than a whole string of observations about bodily functions. It’s sad really. Is that your Eustace Tilley impression? Uncanny. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/29 "2012-10-25T19:20:16Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Mr. **Spectre** , I once lived in a 4-unit apartment next to a “bad apartment building” that would have a honker in front of it every two weeks or so. > > Eventually I developed the technique of walking outside with a concerned look on my face and asking, "Is everything okay? " or “Do you need some help?” > > It worked. The people in the car would mumble apologies and usually go up to the front door. Presumably they didn’t know it wasn’t a “honk at will and at length” neighborhood, and as soon they realized it the situation resolved itself. > [@Sinaptics](#): > > That’s brilliant. Elegant in it’s simplicity. My suggestion was going to be “Get an air horn and start a honking war.” I’d be worried about getting stabbed or something. When my wife and I first got together we lived in a very bad neighborhood, then we moved up a couple years later to a decent condo that was on the same street as some public housing and low-rent apartments. There’s a cultural aspect to it but I always thought that if someone came to pick up my daughter and didn’t have the decency to get out of the car and knock on my door, then yadda yadda yadda get off my lawn. Viking. One of the funny things about the horn honkers though was often they would beep then yell out their buddy’s name so I took to saying “Hey pato!” imitating how they sounded. At some point my wife turned to me and said “You do know that you’re saying ‘hey duck’ don’t you?” ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/30 "2012-10-25T20:56:12Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Any reason the OP missed the obvious “go and knock/ring their doorbell”, which is better than any of the other suggestions, except maybe fucking off and dying. > > Because that option might get him killed. My next door neighbor has a situation where the boyfriend of the ex-wife comes by to get the kid to take back to mom’s. The ex-husband has told the boyfriend that he will shoot him if he steps foot on the porch. I believe **Mr. Shine** meant the horn-freak should go knock on the door for the people he’s waiting for, not that I should do it. ---
**Author:** ![humblebumble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@humblebumble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humblebumble)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/31 "2012-10-25T21:04:20Z")
I thought only college students pulled this kind of crap. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/32 "2012-10-25T21:11:11Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Mr. **Spectre** , I once lived in a 4-unit apartment next to a “bad apartment building” that would have a honker in front of it every two weeks or so. > > Eventually I developed the technique of walking outside with a concerned When this happened yesterday it was halfway down the block; I’m on the third floor of the building I live in. I’m sure you see where I’m going with this: in the time it takes me to drop whatever I’m doing, go downstairs, and walk over to the scene of the outrage it might well be all over, so there’s always this uncertainty about whether to intervene, or just wait it out. And, IMHO, I shouldn’t have to. And the time of day shouldn’t be an issue, either, although technically it is with regard to noise ordinances. One glaring weakness about local ordinances in this city is that they are geared better to neighborhoods of single family homes. In that type of neighborhood, it doesn’t matter as much, because of the lower population density and generally older population. The in-and-out traffic volume is lower because there are fewer people to be picked up by impatient horn freaks. Neighborhoods zoned for apartments should have stricter ordinances. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/33 "2012-10-25T21:16:48Z")
People on my street don’t do the horn honking thing, instead they just park in the middle of the street and wait for their person to come out. Hey buddy, how about you get out of the fucking road so I can drive past you to my parking spot? You could always pull ahead a couple houses and grab a parking spot, I’m sure your friend has the cognitive function necessary to scan the street for parked cars. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/34 "2012-10-25T21:19:11Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > One of the funny things about the horn honkers though was often they would beep then yell out their buddy’s name so I took to saying “Hey pato!” imitating how they sounded. At some point my wife turned to me and said “You do know that you’re saying ‘hey duck’ don’t you?” It’s worse. For some Spanish-speakers, “pato” is the Spanish equivalent of faggot. Connotations and all. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/35 "2012-10-25T21:25:07Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I’d be worried about getting stabbed or something. > One of the funny things about the horn honkers though was often they would beep then yell out their buddy’s name so I took to saying “Hey pato!” imitating how they sounded. At some point my wife turned to me and said “You do know that you’re saying ‘hey duck’ don’t you?” Actually, if your neighbors were from Puerto Rico, you were basically calling them “faggot.” In after Mighty Girl. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/36 "2012-10-26T02:29:15Z")
In my neighborhood there’s a short school bus that stops in front of one of the houses and honks and honks and honks. The jokes write themselves… ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/37 "2012-10-26T19:19:30Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > My whole block doesn’t need to know you’re sitting in your car waiting for the remarkably charitable and generous people they must be, to accept you in their lives. Ah, city life… > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Hey! My taxes paid for that horn! You didn’t build that horn! > [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > It’s worse. For some Spanish-speakers, “pato” is the Spanish equivalent of faggot. Connotations and all. I thought [puto](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_profanity#Puto) is “cocksucker”…but it has many layered meanings, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/38 "2012-10-26T21:28:49Z")
Timely. I was walking the dogs yesterday in our mostly quiet neighborhood and as we rounded a curve just behind a car parked in a driveway, the driver honked, just once, but loudly. Very loudly, since I was 4 ft behind the damn car. I immediately hollered “What!?!” As soon as it was out of my mouth I wished I’d just said SHUDDUP! Stupid cow was all of 12 feet from the door of the house, but that was just too damn far for him/her I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/39 "2012-10-26T21:36:06Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > People on my street don’t do the horn honking thing, instead they just park in the middle of the street and wait for their person to come out. Hey buddy, how about you get out of the fucking road so I can drive past you to my parking spot? You could always pull ahead a couple houses and grab a parking spot, I’m sure your friend has the cognitive function necessary to scan the street for parked cars. If the driver lacks the cognitive function to realize he should clear the fucking road, I think you’re being overly generous to your neighbors. For me, after the first time, the sequence would be: Get the plate number, make model & color. Call the cops. Also, read up in your driver’s handbook for your state as to the circumstances under which you are allowed to use your horn. Most places I’ve lived, it’s a pretty freaking short list. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802/40 "2012-10-26T22:14:33Z")
Are cops really going to swing by for a honker? If so, I’ll call. Anybody have that work for 'em? _(note to own bad self: stop misreading “honker” as “hooker”…)_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep/638802.md?page=3)