# Beer Lovers -- Excruciatingly Bad Beers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 9, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147 "2001-06-09T04:03:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![darian00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@darian00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darian00)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/21 "2001-06-09T12:58:48Z")

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Gotta second the “anything by Miller” thing…I had an MGD not too long ago and almost tore out my tongue to rid myself of the flavor. Ever had **Lone Star** or **Pearl**? If not, don’t. Oh, the humanity…

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**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/22 "2001-06-09T13:43:52Z")

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**Dragon Stout** from Jamaica - it was like drinking coffee-flavored syrup. All-time worst beer I ever had. Sam Adams’ **Triple Bock** isn’t bad _per se_ but one bottle was enough for me, thankyewvurrmush.

**TVeblen** - Blue Moon is actually a faily decent Hefeweizen, although there are much better brands on the market. (Hacker-Pschorr… mmm!!) They do take some getting used to, but the qualities you mentioned are fairly characteristic.

I had a couple bottles of **Zhiguliovskoe** in Petersburg in '95; my Russian buddies were pretty excited I’d found it. Perhaps the recipe had improved somewhat by then.

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**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/23 "2001-06-09T14:37:03Z")

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Miller and Pabst for domestic crap. The worst was some stuff I found on clearance at the grocery store once. A buck for a six pack, it was some Jamaican ooze called Red Label. Normally, just about anything tastes a lot better when you get six for a buck. So I bought a case. I was able to choke down three thinking it might be an acquired taste but I was wrong. It’s just plain old rat piss. I wouldn’t even give them to my neighbor who swore that Natural Light was the nectar of the gods. Just dumped em.

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**Author:** ![waxteeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/24 "2001-06-09T14:45:16Z")

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Sam Adams Triple Bock - I haven’t had anything worse.

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**Author:** ![Shiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/25 "2001-06-09T14:49:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \*  
> **I had a Peroni…to me it tasted like a skunky Heineken.**

I’ve never had a Heineken that _ **wasn’t** _ skunked. It has to be the worlds most popular bad beer.

For the anti fruit beer faction: Try a Liefmans Frambozen or Kriek some time. When a fruit beer is done well the results can be sublime. When a fruit beer is done by a megabrewery look out!

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**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/26 "2001-06-09T14:52:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bordelond \*  
> \*\*C’mon, you guys are completetly ignoring the classic bad beers…
> 
> **Hamm’s, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Shaefer, Shaefer Light**  
> \*\*

No, we didn’t forget, but YOU forgot one of the truly rank American beers…

Schlitz.

The last time I saw Schlitz was, in of all places, a bar in Japan in 1996. I thought it was just another of those fake american brands that you see over there but never in the US (like Chesterfield cigarettes) but it was the genuine article (I thought they stopped making it years ago). It was selling for the same prices as other imported premium beers. In a fit of nostalgia I ordered one. That slightly-flat fizz, with the slight aroma of benzene was enough to shake me out of that nostaligic mood.

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**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/27 "2001-06-09T15:01:30Z")

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I hated **Belle Vue Gueze** , which tasted like rotten, candied fruit. I was excited to try an authentic Belgian lambic, but this was just awful.

And my vote for most disappointing beer is **Sleeman Cream Ale** , which is completely flat & tasteless except for a bitter finish. For some reason it has a following in Canada, even though the other Sleeman products are much better.

By the way Olentzero, I actually didn’t think Dragon Stout was that bad – mind you, I still wouldn’t buy it again.

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/28 "2001-06-09T15:56:25Z")

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Never actually got to drink this one, but heard enough stories about it to know that it was bad, and besides, even the name sounds horrible: **Blatz**!

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**Author:** ![jane\_says](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jane\_says](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jane_says)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/29 "2001-06-09T16:06:12Z")

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My father, quite the expert on alcoholic beverages of many natures, has tried to instill in me a love for good beers. Much to his dismay, I actually PREFER cheap beer to most “decent” brands. My favorite is Miller High Life - it is, after all, the Champagne of Beers, It says so right on the label, so you know it must be true.

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**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/30 "2001-06-09T16:55:13Z")

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Re Huber’s Beer:

There is a little tavern and cheese store in Monroe, Wis., that my great grandfather loved. His daily routine was to read the papers, The Chicago Trib and the Monroe Daily Switzer Blat (or what ever the local paper was), then to the tavern, then to the Turn Hall for the rest of the day. The old guy died about 1960. Ever since then, the extended family has gotten together at Monroe (a great little town) every couple of years, meeting at the tavern/cheese store. Up until the last time we got together the only beer on tap was Huber’s, in one of several verities, all truly awful. The last time however, there was no Huber’s on tap; all you could get was Leinenkugle’s. I wonder if Huber has passed on to a well-deserved oblivion. About the only complementary thing you can say about the stuff is that it is cheap.

An aside, if you asked for a Budweiser in the tavern/cheese store the best thing that would happen to you would be that you would be asked to leave. They might have served Huber’s, but they had some standards.

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**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/31 "2001-06-09T17:48:03Z")

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There’s no challenge in coming up with plenty of nominations from America. (The nice development in recent decades is the ability to speak of GOOD American beers). And with all due respect, the mention of neither Australia nor Canada tend to generate an automatic reaction of “Ah, good beer”.

I would like to nominate a bad GERMAN beer. Warsteiner.

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**Author:** ![Studi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Studi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Studi)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/32 "2001-06-09T18:54:36Z")

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Budweiser.

Studi

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**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/33 "2001-06-09T18:57:05Z")

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I concur with the **Huber** haters. **Regal Brau** , god I had forgotten about that one. As a poor student at UW-Madison I was forced to drink that on numerous occasions.

One thing I can’t understand, though, is why people seem to like **Point** beer in Wisconsin. I can’t even bring the bottle to my lips. It smells like peanut butter.

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**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/34 "2001-06-09T19:20:57Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chas.E \*  
> \*\*No, we didn’t forget, but YOU forgot one of the truly rank American beers…
> 
> Schlitz.\*\*

Great catch, Chas! I remember Schlitz, but never drank the stuff. Say, that reminds me…

[Rich Hall Sniglet]

**Schlitzstop** - the inevitable putz at the copany softball game who believes he can play the infield … while drinking a beer.

[/Rich Hall Sniglet]

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/35 "2001-06-09T20:09:18Z")

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Two of the truly bad:

[**Genessee Cream Ale**](http://www.history.rochester.edu/class/beer/genny.htm) - tastes like it’s made from the waters of the Genessee River

**Old Vienna** - the little bottles (splits) went skunky really quickly

Anyone remember Ballentine Beer?

[singing]  
“When you’re out of Schlitz,  
You’re out of beer!”  
[/singing]

Ever notice some of the worst beers have the catchiest commercials? Not exactly a bad beer, but I still remember Utica Club’s [Scultz & Dooley](http://www.schultzanddooley.com/Collectibles.asp) [talking mugs](http://hometown.aol.com/boardwalk7/schultz.html).

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**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/36 "2001-06-09T23:13:02Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by screech-owl \*  
> \*\*Anyone remember Ballentine Beer?  
> \*\*

That’s Ballentine ALE, pal. And it came in two varieties, the stuff bottled in New Jersey (legendarily bad) and the stuff bottled at the other plant (I forget where) which was legendarily GOOD.

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/37 "2001-06-09T23:24:43Z")

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Cave Creek Chili Beer  
Only thing hiding the taste of a vile beer was the extreme heat from the chili pepper in the bottle. BLARG!!!

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Pippi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Miss\_Pippi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Pippi)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/38 "2001-06-09T23:33:46Z")

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Samual Adams and stout. My son had me taste some stout once and I can still taste how bad it was. I couldn’t understand how they were drinking it and not being ill. Like really rancid bitter cold coffee.

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**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/39 "2001-06-09T23:36:18Z")

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Damn, Drastic. Your description of Molasses Coffee Stout was so graphic [SHUDDER] it makes me want to go right out and put its distributors out of business.

I also agree with TVeblen, I prefer the absence of cranberries and cherries in the beer I drink. However, with certain Mexican beers I don’t mind a hint of lime in them.

But I must nominate Miller Lite for the excruciatingly bad category. Folks I was out with recently ordered a pitcher of that tastebud torture. I took one sip, and I really thought I was going to toss my cookies. [shudder] I spent the rest of the night drinking Guiness so I could wash the taste of flat, bitter, urine and something else so unholy I can’t imagine out of my mouth.

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**Author:** ![eLunatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@eLunatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eLunatic)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beer-lovers-excruciatingly-bad-beers/68147/40 "2001-06-10T00:03:24Z")

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**Goebel**'nuff said. My aunt drinks Goebel on a regular basis. When she’s not drinking beer she drinks Tab. I think she was dropped on her head.

I’ve never tried Schlitz or Blatz just because of the names.

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