# Before I close down tonight  , this is for Kambucta  :-

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 19, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478 "2002-04-19T07:13:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![deeward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@deeward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deeward)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/1 "2002-04-19T07:13:33Z")

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Kambuckta:-

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

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### Author: ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/2 "2002-04-19T07:18:12Z")

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So. You’re at war with society. You’re at war with Kambucta. Anything else we ought to know about?  
:yawn:

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### Author: ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/3 "2002-04-19T07:18:19Z")

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Let me guess. Kambukta doesn’t like Engelbert Humperdinck?

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### Author: ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/4 "2002-04-19T07:19:17Z")

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Simulpost!

I never had that happen to me before. Cool!

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### Author: ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/5 "2002-04-19T08:23:11Z")

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How 'bout [TruthSeeker](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=110414)?

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### Author: ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/6 "2002-04-19T08:29:06Z")

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Whatever do you mean, Spooje? I have found Engelbert and Engelbert is love!

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### Author: ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/7 "2002-04-19T09:22:52Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Truth Seeker \*  
> \*\*Whatever do you mean, Spooje? I have found Engelbert and Engelbert is love! \*\*

Yeah, and “Humperdink” sounds dirty, if sexually ambiguous…

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### Author: ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/8 "2002-04-19T11:06:40Z")

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You know, **deeward** , I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt, so I searched out your posts, and this is what I found:

1. You are oddly obssessed with Englebert Humperdink, which I find odd in and of itself, but we shall leave that aside for right now.

2. You have a disturbing habit of stating things as “facts” with nary a cite to be seen. We don’t go in for that around here.

3. You seem to be deeply disturbed by other people holding opinions about pretty much anything - especially for some reason singers and/or attractive men. You came down hard on people for liking Brad Pitt, and claim that all young men now look the same, but you cry foul when anyone dares to compare ‘Hump’ to Tom Jones/Wayne Newton/whateverVegasloungesinger. Thus I feel you are a hypocrite.

4. You talk about all men harbouring a hatred for your favorite man, good old Englebert, and act like all women swoon at his feet. As a woman, I take exception to you making sweeping generalizations like that. Considering the lack of positive response to your myriad of threads about him, I would venture to guess that many other doper women feel the same.

5. I one of you threads you said:

> [@](#):
>
> You just don’t have the capacity for extra-sensory perception that I have. I’m sorry for you; you miss a lot.

```
       a) I don't think you know what extra-sensory perception is.
       b) That is the most pretentious thing I've ever heard.

```

1. You are 50 years old (according to one of your posts) and the best rant you can come up with “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”? I’ve heard better on school playgrounds. It would be nice if you provided actual arguements in your rants - why do you hate **Kambuckta**? Remember, ‘because’ is not a reason.

Okay, thats it. I realize I’m probably going to get a DNFTT for this, but after reading all that about Englebert Humperdink, I had to get it off my chest.

Thank you and good night.

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### Author: ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/9 "2002-04-19T11:12:42Z")

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Hey Deeward?

Several questions:

Does Engleblert drive an SUV?  
If he does, how do you feel about Engleblert driving an SUV?  
Does Engleblert like Hillary Clinton?  
Do you?  
How do you and Engleblert feel about Hillary’s buttocks? Do you think they’re fat? Do they excite you?  
Do you think Engleblert Humperdink is circumcized?  
How do you feel about circumcision?  
If Engleblert is circumcised, would you help him with his Tug-Ahoy[sup]tm[/sup]

Fenris

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### Author: ![RedDevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ec8ea/32.png) [@RedDevil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedDevil)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/10 "2002-04-19T11:31:41Z")

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I saw Engelbert in my local shop the other day. Do you know what he was buying? That’s right, loads of bottles of Coca-Cola. He did pick up a bottle of Sunny Delight, but put it back.

He autographed my can of Pepsi, very nice man, very charming.

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### Author: ![misshannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@misshannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misshannah)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/11 "2002-04-19T16:58:05Z")

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oh **RedDevil** very sly!!

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### Author: ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/12 "2002-04-19T23:36:40Z")

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Yippee!!! TA-rant-ta-ra. A roasting in my honour? Why Thank-you deeward, but sorry I’m a bit late.

(kambuckta wanders into the backyard looking for the Webber, but only spies a smokey little Hibachi in the corner behind the dunny).

You call a that pathetic little ooze of angst a flamin’ barbie? Pffsstt girl, surely you can do better…

(Hey, thanks Goo for the wake-up call…you were absolutely right)

Ah well, at least I feel like a dinkum member of the board now! Do I get a Pit Badge or summat?

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### Author: ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/13 "2002-04-20T00:02:08Z")

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Damnit!

I misread the title and thought this thread was about **me**! I was soooo excited - my _first_ Pit thread!

Curse you, **kambuckta**!!

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### Author: ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/14 "2002-04-20T00:04:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by RedDevil \*  
> \*\*I saw Engelbert in my local shop the other day. \*\*

I saw Engelbert drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s.

His hair was perfect.

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### Author: ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/15 "2002-04-20T00:16:38Z")

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Hey Kamandi, I’m feeling all magnanimous now I’ve got me’ own thread, so if you like, I’ll start one about you. Gotta share the goodies around eh?

OK, I’ll tell you that Vegemite is the BEST thing since sliced bread, and in fact, the WHOLE WORLD (that includes the US) knows this and have secret stashes hidden away behind the Oreo’s. You agree don’t you?

Don’t you?

DON’T YOU???

Damn you Kamandi, I hate you, I hate you, I HATE you.

(Well, it’s not really a new thread, but close enough) 😃

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### Author: ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/16 "2002-04-20T00:59:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by kambuckta \*  
> **TA-rant-ta-ra.**

Heh.

**Kambuckta** , congratulations on yer first Pit thread. Sorry it wasn’t a better one.

But Engelbert rocks. Umm… no wait. I think I’m getting confused by all the four letter words in **Derwood** ’s morality thread. Maybe “rock” wasn’t the one I was looking for. But anyway, there’s something Engelbert does… I don’t remember just now what it is, but he does it hard. Just like **Derwood**.

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### Author: ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/17 "2002-04-20T01:28:54Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by deeward \*  
> \*\*Kambuckta:-
> 
> I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! \*\*

Hate is a [four-letter word](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=110405).

Potty mouth.

😃

And seriously, I haven’t heard anyone utter a line like that since the days of elementary school. Kinda cute.

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### Author: ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/18 "2002-04-20T01:44:21Z")

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**deeward** , you only need to use the colon _or_ the dash. Not both.

Either of these would be correct:

> [@](#):
>
> Kambuckta:
> 
> I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

or

> [@](#):
>
> Kambuckta -
> 
> I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Of course, either way it’s really lame. But the way you had it is punctuationally incorrect, too. Engelbert would be ashamed.

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### Author: ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/19 "2002-04-20T02:56:04Z")

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kambuckta, Vegemite (and its horrid cousin Marmite) are the most foul substances that have ever desecrated my tongue, except for one unintentional encounter with Onion Jello. The very word Vegemite makes me want to stab people’s eyes out with a ballpoint pen in a violent orgy of merciless eyeball-gouging.

Let us never speak of Vegemite again.

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### Author: ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478/20 "2002-04-20T03:08:52Z")

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Fluiddruid, you are now on my ‘Hate’ list…

therefore

I hate you, I hate you, I HATE you…

but I do understand how some strange people can dislike Vegemite (marmite is it’s poor cousin, not worth arguing about).

In fact, now I look at the little jar of black goo, it IS pretty repulsive isn’t it? Shame it tastes sooooooooo nice! 🙂

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/before-i-close-down-tonight-this-is-for-kambucta/104478.md?page=2)
