### Author:  [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/1 "2004-02-12T01:09:43Z")
Twenty-two days ago this afternoon I was chatting with a co-worker. She happened to be on her way to the bathroom to change her pad and I mentioned that I’d gotten my period the day before (after not having had it for 2 months for no good reason other than I’m getting to be that age) and said “it’s been weird.” She asked “weird how?” and I said I wasn’t sure how to describe it, it was just weird. Now, I usually have a 4-5 day period with day 1 being light, 2 & 3 being heavy with some clots and 4 & 5 tapering off. Not much cramping…just a little bit right before it starts. Little did I know the weirdness that I was in for.
Days 2-3 weren’t as heavy and clotty as usual but then things really kicked into high gear. Blood and clots everywhere!!! During week one I had to rinse out my slacks every freakin’ day after work! I just couldn’t keep up with it! That Saturday night I was baking biscotti at midnight and all of a sudden I had blood running down my leg. When I subsequently passed a clot that landed in the bottom of the toilet in the shape of an angel I thought about building a shrine but didn’t have time because of the biscotti and all.
Early on in week two I was able to keep up with it but was still changing the plugs regularly and shooting out chicken livers here and there. At the end of week two, it started to taper off. But, just as soon as I’d say to myself “Self, this _must_ be the last couple of days of this thing,” self would respond by presenting me with another big red clot and revving up to ultra-sized flow again.
Now, the past four days it’s really felt like it’s going to end. Really! Not much flow, and instead of clots I’ve just had weird feeling air bubbles that feel like clots, but aren’t. It’s been three god-damn weeks now. It _has_ to end. This morning at work I was sitting at my computer pondering my bloody fate thinking this must _surely_ be the end. I should have stopped there, but no. I had to start thinking that it would soon be time for my NEXT period. Bad move. Very bad move. I started feeling a little crampy. Then I felt an air bubble. Or was it an air bubble? If it’s just an air bubble why am I crampy? Do I dare go check? If it isn’t an air bubble will it run down my leg when I stand up? I hurried to the private bathroom within our sick room, doing the “thighs together” walk, and when I took toilet paper to crotch I was greeted by the biggest, reddest, gooiest quivering mass of blood I’ve ever seen clinging to a wad of toilet paper. It was so big I named it “Jimmy” and watched it swirl away.
After lunch I thought I’d better be safe than sorry and change the ol’ plug even though it didn’t feel like it needed it, and the one I took out was nearly dry as a bone. Go figure.
So, period. Take a hike. Hit the bricks. Get lost. And don’t come back!!!
p.s. Yes, I’m taking my vitamins and I’ve been in contact with the doctor so I can make sure it’s nothing more than the usual perimenopausal bullshit.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/2 "2004-02-12T01:55:32Z")
Go to a fucking doctor!
\
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### Author:  [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/3 "2004-02-12T01:57:05Z")
You have my sympathies.
Oh yeah, another thing: Gyuhuruwyurguuhurwrugurlurhurghh.
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### Author:  [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/4 "2004-02-12T02:01:57Z")
I’m with worldeater: after two weeks my bloody ass would be in the gyno’s office! I’ll put up with 8 days, but after that I wanna KNOW!
Could you have been preggers and miscarried? That’s a lot of fucking blood!
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### Author:  [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/5 "2004-02-12T02:08:19Z")
Her gyno did a d&c on her. She was bleeding from her uterine walls. Not menses. He put her back on the pill. (She had her tubes tied 10 years ago). Stopped her bleeding in a couple of days. I would see a gyno.
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### Author:  [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/6 "2004-02-12T03:13:24Z")
Before anybody else chides me to see a doctor, please read the p.s. I expect to have my referral to the gyno tomorrow.
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### Author:  [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/7 "2004-02-12T04:10:03Z")
Eww, eww, eww. I hope I never have that happen to me.
I hope your doctor can help. Don’t let them shoo you off – I’ve heard, on this very board, of a woman being told, “Come back if it hasn’t stopped in a month.” A MONTH! Jesus Christ on cheezy crackers!
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### Author:  [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/8 "2004-02-12T04:10:39Z")
I know how you feel. I’m on the pill and have been bleeding enough to require a tampon during the day for three weeks. Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh! My sincerest sympathies are with you. 🙂
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### Author:  [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/9 "2004-02-12T07:23:57Z")
AllShookDown, I’ve been there. Fibroids tumors in my case – painful, but not dangerous. A d&c kept things normal for five years, then needed repeating. I also have a friend who experienced the same symptoms – overgrowth of the uterine lining in her case. She had some heat treatment of the inside walls, cleared it up forever (or, at least for 20 years so far.) The heat treatment leaves you infertile, btw, but she didn’t care about that.
IOW, whatever is going on with you, despite the scary symptoms, can be relatively minor and easily fixable, so try not to be too scared. Good luck!
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### Author:  [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/10 "2004-02-13T03:22:40Z")
My reaction…
> [@monty python](#):
>
> Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis! Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong! It’s swell to have a stiffy, It’s divine to own a dick, From the tiniest little tadger To the world’s biggest prick!
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### Author:  [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/11 "2004-02-13T05:31:30Z")
> [@emekthian](#):
>
> My reaction…
You made me tinkle!! 😃
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### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/12 "2004-02-13T06:51:30Z")
I’m laughing at the building a shrine and naming it Jimmy parts, but don’t think I’m not sympathetic. 🙂
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### Author:  [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/13 "2004-02-13T12:57:28Z")
Ugh. That sounds like my miscarraige ☹
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### Author:  [@Scarlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlet)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/14 "2004-02-13T14:32:09Z")
ugh, I hope everything works out… I can sooo relate, when I was on the shot-from-hell I bled NON-STOP for … can you guess? … a year… yup an entire 12 months non-stop. The dr. kept telling me nothing was wrong and my body was just trying to adjust to the shot… stupidly I believed her. Eventually I couldn’t take it any longer (the emotional effects of it were bad) and found a new dr, who immediately took me off the shot, put me on pills to make it stop and started running a battery of tests because it wasn’t “nothing to worry about”. The dr wants me to see a fertility specialist (I’m still having some problems), she fears that I may be sterile as a result of the shot. I’m afraid to make the appointment, because if I am, it would be devestating for both me and my husband.
Anyway, didn’t want to hijack, just wanted you to know I feel your pain.
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### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/15 "2004-02-13T14:55:43Z")
Oh my goodness, **AllShookDown**! How terrible for you! I hope the doctor is able to help. I started showing serious symptoms of menopause back in September, but so far, it’s only been that I really can’t tell anymore when I’m going to get my period. I certainly haven’t had any clots that were so large I felt compelled to give them names! (That was pretty funny though; but didn’t you feel bad about flushing it after you named it? I mean, I eat steak, but if I couldn’t if I knew what the cow’s name had been, y’know?)
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### Author:  [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/16 "2004-02-13T18:17:40Z")
Good for you for naming your clot!
I have a lump in my uterine wall. Just a small, benign little thing, about the size of a marble. Gyno says nothing to worry about unless she starts to grow or bother me. I named her Lola.
The same long bleeding thing happened to my mom and she ended up having an emergency hysterectomy. So I’m glad to hear that you are going to the Dr.
On the upside, my best friend just threw a party to celebrate the anniversary of her menopause. It was cool.
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### Author:  [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/17 "2004-02-13T18:46:49Z")
I am sooooooooo glad I’m male.
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### Author:  [@MarkofT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkofT)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/18 "2004-02-13T18:49:34Z")
> [@Scarlet](#):
>
> ugh, I hope everything works out… I can sooo relate, when I was on the shot-from-hell I bled NON-STOP for … can you guess? … a year… yup an entire 12 months non-stop. The dr. kept telling me nothing was wrong and my body was just trying to adjust to the shot… stupidly I believed her. Eventually I couldn’t take it any longer (the emotional effects of it were bad) and found a new dr, who immediately took me off the shot, put me on pills to make it stop and started running a battery of tests because it wasn’t “nothing to worry about”. The dr wants me to see a fertility specialist (I’m still having some problems), she fears that I may be sterile as a result of the shot. I’m afraid to make the appointment, because if I am, it would be devestating for both me and my husband.
>
> Anyway, didn’t want to hijack, just wanted you to know I feel your pain.
On the plus side, if you are infertile, you and your hubby should be able to afford to adopt an entire country with the money from the malpractice lawsuit. 😉
[hijack] I think we need a new term other then TMI. TMI no longer means “You really don’t want to read this”. It has become “I dare you to read this and not toss your cookies”. Perhaps TMI^2.[/hijack]
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### Author:  [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/19 "2004-02-13T19:21:16Z")
What’s more, you can label a thread “Disgustingi girly menstrual things! TMI! Guys stay out! You don’t wanna know!” and invariably several guys will feel obligated to not only wander in, but to post about how glad they are not to have to deal with this stuff. It was funny the first time, sure, but in every single girly thread?
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### Author:  [@MarkofT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkofT)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/begone-and-dont-come-back-female-way-tmi-way-tm-blood/228763/20 "2004-02-13T20:45:38Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#):
>
> What’s more, you can label a thread “Disgustingi girly menstrual things! TMI! Guys stay out! You don’t wanna know!” and invariably several guys will feel obligated to not only wander in, but to post about how glad they are not to have to deal with this stuff. It was funny the first time, sure, but in every single girly thread?
If we guys were to have something icky body part like that, we wouldn’t mind you coming in to comment on our threads.
Fortunately the human male was on the good side of luck and the female got stuck with the icky bits. 😃
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