# Behave now, kids. And don't touch the stereo! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422 "2001-07-06T00:52:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/181 "2001-07-09T03:22:03Z")
I’ll just take that Mike’s from you, **Sunspace** … don’t bother with the cds, though. The smoking pile of rubber that used to be the stereo is over in the corner. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/182 "2001-07-09T03:48:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*Bets as to what? That **hardygrrl** will lick **Jeff Hardy?** > [sub]bwahahahaaaa[/sub] \*\* Not just licking. There also will be stroking,fondling,nibbling,riding… [sub] I need a cold shower now. Be right back [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/183 "2001-07-09T04:23:03Z")
::Frantic pounding is coming from inside a wall:: Hey guys? Helloooo? Can anyone get me out of here? I’m not sure how I got in here,but it’s really tight and I am really drunk. Hey! There’s a valve here marked “Sewage Drain”. _twist_ AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/184 "2001-07-09T04:53:17Z")
**Sunspace** ’s eyes light up as a beautiful red-haired Viking wench steps forward. His grin widens, he bows, and he hands her the sixpack. “Anything for a beautiful fellow Doper…” He glances around. “Pity about the stereo though.” He sets his backpack down, pulls out a red plastic clown nose and puts it on. He also grabs a half-litre of bubble solution, and removes the cap to reveal a bubble-making frame. He jumps into the house yelling, “Time to get SILLYYYY!!!” and blowing bubbles all over… _ **CRASH** _ "What was that? "Hmm… “Ming”. Nice vase. Okay, it _was_ a nice vase. Can’t have been all that valuable, or it would have been secured. “Hey, where’s the toilet? Over there? Okej…” He heads further into the house and turns a corner. His eyes widen. “You’re doing _that_ and you’re not using applesauce?” ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/185 "2001-07-09T05:57:50Z")
Ohhh -snags some Mike’s as well after climbing out of the neighbors pool- Thanks Sunspace! -winces at the stereo- Glad I snagged my cd’s before they melted in that thing… -wanders in the house making squishing sounds as she walks as she was fully dressed when she landed in the pool… watches wide eyed as Whanno runs past her- I think I saw a little more then what I wanted to see… I am still mostly innocent you know. So when do we have to worry about getting cau… I mean get to celebrate Coldy’s return? ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/186 "2001-07-09T06:10:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*So when do we have to worry about getting cau… I mean get to celebrate Coldy’s return? \*\* Well, we’ve gotta have at least a couple more days…does that whipped cream offer still stand? Wait…we’ve just _gotta_ have some music…I think I’ve got a box out in the car…let me check… YES!!! OK, I’m putting in “Spit” by Kittie…seems appropriate. Never before in history have teenage girls rocked so hard. :dives into the rubber room, which hopefully has a good enough coating of Wesson oil to enable body-wall-surfing…: ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/187 "2001-07-09T06:18:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > \*\*:dives into the rubber room, which hopefully has a good enough coating of Wesson oil to enable body-wall-surfing…: > \*\* **Lindy** WATCH OUT ! Hmmm, guess you weren’t there when I had to hose the room. Ooooh, that looks nasty, better have someone look at it. BTW, the odds are now 10 to 1 in favour of **hardygrrl** for the grudge match, poor **Jeff Hardy** has no idea what’s in store for him. I’m still taking bets. ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/188 "2001-07-09T06:26:23Z")
::Pounding sound from inside a wall:: Helloooooo? I’m still trapped in here! Anyone out there? Get me out of here! This place is filling up with sewage and I’m stuck! Hel…_gurgle,plop_ ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/189 "2001-07-09T06:30:30Z")
Did you hear something ? ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/190 "2001-07-09T06:35:43Z")
::The wall buckles under the pressure sending several hundred gallons of sewage out into the street:: ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/191 "2001-07-09T06:37:00Z")
OUCH!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!!! Dang it, why didn’t somebody _warn_ me? Nothing worse than wet rubber for friction burns… Jeez, I’m gonna need some skin grafts or something, I bet. Although I’m sure _something_ would take my mind off of this (Arden? Please?)… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/192 "2001-07-09T08:59:39Z")
:SECURELY locks the basement windows and doors before coming back in:: Hmmm…? **Lindy** , love? What _did_ you get into? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/193 "2001-07-09T11:40:16Z")
::A knock on the door. A tall handsome man dressed in cargo pants,a snug t-shirt and a baseball cap covering his multi colored hair stands there:: Hello, I’m Jeff Hardy. I have a match booked here…good gravy,the the hell is going on here? ::Spots the ring and sees hardygrrl waiting there. She winks at him:: Oh, I see now. Excuse me, I have an urgent need to pin something,repeatedly. ::Walks towards ring,disrobing:: ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/194 "2001-07-09T13:13:45Z")
**Astroboy drags himself up from behind the sofa, hands holding his head as slivers of spun glass slide through his veins into his brain** Oh… God! What day is it? What happene…\*\*BLEEEERGH!\*\ ***Astroboy vomits on the sofa and the wall nearby!** Oh! Shorry! Someone hand be a beer an da bong! _Urp!_ **Astroboy slides, in slow motion, back down behind the sofa… his hand waves, pathetically, for a few seconds before it, too, disappears…** ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/195 "2001-07-09T13:28:57Z")
Oh boy, now I can practice my first-aid response! ::carries AstroBoy into an unused room:: ::goes into bathroom, and returns with large assortment of bandages, splints, rubber gloves, vaseline, manacles, silk scarves, feathers, and various other …emergency, yeah, that’s it!..emergency first-response equipment!:: ::returns to room with AstroBoy:: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/196 "2001-07-09T14:07:37Z")
Jeez, **screech** , you forgot the magic markers, nair, and clothespins. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/197 "2001-07-09T14:15:26Z")
Ginger, I think they already put the nair in his shampoo bottle… ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/198 "2001-07-09T15:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\ ***Lindy** , love? What _did_ you get into? \*\* Oh, nothing some…um…first aid wouldn’t fix. Or second or third aid, for that matter. Just didn’t get **detop** ’s warning about hosing out the oil/rubber room, that’s all… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/199 "2001-07-09T15:49:21Z")
::sighs as she looks around the living room:: Somebody hose off the couch. Mess is one thing. Stink is quite another. **Lindy** , let’s see your owies. Maybe I can kiss it and make it better. It’s Mommy Magic[sup]TM[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![rayniday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecc23a/32.png) [@rayniday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayniday)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/200 "2001-07-09T16:52:08Z")
Well **Lindy** , sweetie, since you’re in a bit of a spot, I’ll just get **Arden** instead. _spritzed **Arden** with whipped cream_ You can take care of it from there. Anyone else? _decides to just start spraying random people, sneaks up on **detop** …_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422.md?page=11)