# Behave now, kids. And don't touch the stereo! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422 "2001-07-06T00:52:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/241 "2001-07-10T19:06:06Z")
Funny, **Bunny** , I figured you’d be drinking _the grape juicy drink from heck_. Since you’re not, though, I’ll certainly offer to help clean you off…wipe you down…[sub]get in your nooks and crannies…[/sub] Say, **Pers** , does this mean we’re pagan now? Should we be sacrificing a virgin or something? What’s that, none available? What if we’ve just never had sex with each other yet? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/242 "2001-07-10T19:20:36Z")
Unfortunately **Tygr** , I’m not especially, uh, well-endowed so my fee usually is the first. :rolleyes: However… :pours mead down over right shoulder. Looks wide-eyed and innocent: Oh my, look at the mess I made! Whoever shall help me clean up the mess I’ve made of myself? 😉 Hey, someone prop **Astro** up; he’s tilting! :sheep runs through living room, spooked by fire, with three Dopers in pursuit: BAAAAAAAAAAA! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/243 "2001-07-10T19:38:05Z")
(ahem) Dancing naked does not a Pagan make. There’s a lot more to it than that, dear. Right now you’re just drunk. Oh, and _absolutely no virgin sacrifices!_ That kind of thing just isn’t done anymore. Besides, we’re gonna have enough trouble explaining the mess as it is. Dead virgins will just make it that much harder. 😃 What the… Hey, who in the hell ate the weenie from my Magic Weenie Wand??? Dammit, do you know how much work went in to finding the perfect weenie for that? Rats. Now I’ve got to start all over again. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/244 "2001-07-10T20:04:01Z")
[sub]URP!![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/245 "2001-07-10T20:51:52Z")
Dead virgins? I think I have their first album; it really wasn’t that good. And **Pers** , I can’t imagine why, in this spot, you’d have trouble finding a perfect weenie. :looks around: I mean, look around you. Perfect weenies, galore! 😃 and > [@](#): > > Unfortunately Tygr, I’m not especially, uh, well-endowed so my **fee** usually is the first That should be **feet!**. I never charge a fee! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/246 "2001-07-10T21:40:42Z")
-hides at the mention of virgin sacrafices… wails- Somebody save me! Their their gonna sacrafice me! -jumps the bones of the first guy that comes near her- ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/247 "2001-07-10T22:31:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Oh, and _absolutely no virgin sacrifices!_ That kind of thing just isn’t done anymore. \*\* **looks at all the women in the room** YEAH! Like we could FIND a virgin anywhere in here! hehehe ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/248 "2001-07-10T23:06:22Z")
-jumps **Whammo** and drags him to a room nearby… she stumbles out a bit later looking decidedly mussed and still naked from her dance around the fire- Uhh yah. No virgins here to sacrafice. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/249 "2001-07-10T23:08:36Z")
::Hops out of ring,leaving behind a semi-comatose Jeff Hardy:: Is there any pizza left? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/250 "2001-07-10T23:26:24Z")
Hey, did Whammo just get laid? And is he even aware of it? :::Persephone, taking BunnyGirl’s advice, begins rooting around the…“house”…in search of a new Perfect Weenie…::: ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/251 "2001-07-10T23:48:45Z")
(crouched in a fetal position, wimpering softly to himself) mommy?? mommmy??? They said SDMB was a safe place to be … mommy??? (rolls to his side and begins sobbing uncontrollably) Just wait till Coldy gets back, he’ll make it all O.K., and I still have my notebook with all your names in it… Mommy??? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/252 "2001-07-10T23:58:30Z")
Awwww poor Hamlet -finds some scraps of clothing and after making sore their at least clean slips them on only to find them a bit too small and snug… shrugging she goes to comfort Hamlet- It’s okay sweety… Coldy will be back soon and everything will be fine… -as she comforts him she surreptuously finds the notebook and tosses it on a still burning area of the floor- shhhhhhh -winks at the others- Yah Whammo just did get laid… I don’t think he realizes it though. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/253 "2001-07-11T00:21:31Z")
Ahhh, poor **Hamlet** , all discombabulated. Here, let me help you, [sub]grabs the bong, take a **huge** puff, releases it in **Hamlet’s** mouth[/sub] There, doesn’t it feel better already ? Oh, you also must be thirsty [sub]grab the nearest keg of beer, put a hose in the bunghole, prime the siphon, put the hose in **Hamlet’s** mouth[/sub] There, just yell if you need anything more. Hey **Ginger** , are you finished with these handcuffs ? We’re out of duct tape and **Hamlet** needs new restraints ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/254 "2001-07-11T00:21:49Z")
As long as we’re destroying Coldie’s house, we might as well ensure that we won’t have to deal with his wrath. Let’s make sure the outside looks nice. When he walks in and sees the chaos/orgy/destruction, he’ll faint and go into shock. Proper use of the bong should ensure he won’t remember a thing. Hmm. I wonder if the barbeque fork, ice cubes, and nylon rope I found will be of any use. Kricket? Ginger? Anyone have any ideas? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/255 "2001-07-11T00:37:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cleophus \* > **As long as we’re destroying Coldie’s house, we might as well ensure that we won’t have to deal with his wrath. Let’s make sure the outside looks nice. When he walks in and sees the chaos/orgy/destruction, he’ll faint and go into shock. Proper use of the bong should ensure he won’t remember a thing.** Well, normally I’d agree with you, but Coldie’s entire neighborhood seems to be pretty much burned to the ground now. The house is just at ground zero. I vote that we club him as soon as he shows up, drag his unconcious body over by the bong, and keep him in a nice, fuzzy, drug-induced haze for the next week or so. That way, when he comes down, we can tell him that it was his fault. Oh, and would somebody get **Hamlet** some more stale bread and water? He was whining about something a while ago…Something about human rights violations, I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/256 "2001-07-11T00:51:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > Oh, and would somebody get **Hamlet** some more stale bread and water? He was whining about something a while ago…Something about human rights violations, I dunno. \*\* Yeah yeah, I’ll do it. **sheesh** Just coz I’m the only person tall enough to reach **Hamlet**. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to suspend him from the ceiling in that cage. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/257 "2001-07-11T00:57:51Z")
Guys? Hey, guys? I, um, I think I just saw a truck go by with a big red cross on it. We don’t have any Geneva Convention issues to deal with here, do we? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/258 "2001-07-11T01:14:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Guys? > > Hey, guys? > > I, um, I think I just saw a truck go by with a big red cross on it. > > We don’t have any Geneva Convention issues to deal with here, do we? \*\* Well, I did shoot that medic a while back, but only because he tried to steal my beer… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/259 "2001-07-11T01:31:38Z")
WHAT WAS THAT?!?! Anybody get the license of that truck! WOW, man, it all happened so quick! My first encounter with cybersex and I forgot to take time to enjoy it, but I’m sure I was good and it was great! **puffs out chest and struts** OH YEAH! I JUST GOT LAID!! _walks around shaking hands_ Hello, how ya doin? Good to see ya. I just got laid! _shaking hands_ Baby knows how to make me feel like a MA-A-AN! BOOYYA! ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/260 "2001-07-11T01:37:03Z")
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