# Behave now, kids. And don't touch the stereo! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422 "2001-07-06T00:52:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/261 "2001-07-11T02:22:01Z")
HUh??/ What??? Mommy is that you??? Oh Obsidian Flutterby is it?? Why Thank YOu for being so nice… everyone else here is too busy being hedonistic to care… You’re really nice Obsidian, I think I’ll write your name down in my special notebook so I’ll always remember your beautiful … What??? It was right here…Where is it??? Oh my no!! My Mom gave me that noteboooooo… Is that it in the fire??? JEZEBEL!!! Obsidian Flutterby I name you JEZEBEL, using your feminine wiles on me, Mom warned me about women like you! JEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZEEEEEEBBBB… Detop, what are you doing??? Are you trying to kis… COUGH…cough cough… No, I don’t smoke… It’s just not heal…Heyyyyyyyyyy, wait a minute… I’m begining to relax a littl… Gurgle, splutter, cough… Ummmm, detop I don’t drink either, Mom says… heyyyyyyyyy, maybe I was wrong about all you guys… Cm’here you guys, I love you all… Man, you guys are so cool… Huh? What? Handcuffs, where did you get that cage ??? I’m calling Amnesty International … You guys are so gonna get it… ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/262 "2001-07-11T02:24:07Z")
Would somebody just dump a bucket of pig’s blood onto **Hamlet** and get this whole incident-waiting-to-happen over with already? \ ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/263 "2001-07-11T02:24:19Z")
I give Whammo some special bathtub time and he gets all egotistical. Typical. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/264 "2001-07-11T02:28:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Guys? > > Hey, guys? > > I, um, I think I just saw a truck go by with a big red cross on it. > > We don’t have any Geneva Convention issues to deal with here, do we? \*\* Umm… Come to think of it, there was that guy in the suit who knocked at the door and asked to speak to “a responsible adult”. I just started laughing, and gave him some jello shots and the bong. But that was a few days ago; I think he’s still here somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/265 "2001-07-11T02:31:36Z")
_kicks **Hamlet** in the ribs on the way in_ Sorry. Kinda. _shrug_ I just got here. So far I’ve figured out Whammo got laid, and something about Jello in a bath-tub, which sounds kinda cool. When does Unc get back? Who was that guy in the kitchen…you know, the one in the sink? With the spatula? He was kinda scary… I’m bored. _yawns_ Someone needs to be set on fire. Or get this party revived again. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/266 "2001-07-11T03:01:12Z")
Does anybody remember what I did with the handcuffs? ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/267 "2001-07-11T03:05:28Z")
Spice up the party? I realized someone forgot to invite Esprix. Anyway, while we’re waiting for him to show up, lets put the spatula and some ice cubes to use and torture Hamlet. Sorry, getting some weed and loosening up that way doesn’t fully atone for trying to tattle us off to Coldfire. Plus, it’s too late for that now. Guilty by association and all that. Can someone find out what’s going on in the rubber room. I think it’s **hardygrrl** and **Jeff Hardy**. Be ready, they may want some toys. I think some others may want a turn in the room. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/268 "2001-07-11T03:05:32Z")
Yeah, I do. [sub]rolls another joint and proceeds to give **Hamlet** another shotgun[/sub] Remember, \ he was getting moralistic again. He had to be restrained… for his own good 😃 [sub]and **ours**![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/269 "2001-07-11T03:14:30Z")
**detop** , that’s not how they’re meant to be used! Hmph! I thought boys from la belle province were a little more _adventurous_. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/270 "2001-07-11T03:21:50Z")
**uncuffs Hamlet** **slaps the cuffs on ginger** Come on, your coming with me to the rubber room and I dont wanna hear another word about it!! **drags ginger off** ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/271 "2001-07-11T03:36:30Z")
I almost forgot: how’s Astroboy doing? ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/272 "2001-07-11T03:40:36Z")
Last time I saw him,he was being used as a doorstop. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/273 "2001-07-11T03:43:50Z")
**Sunspace** suddenly wakes from a dream in which condiment-clad dancers are doing indescribable and amazing things to him, to each other, and to passers-by around a blazing fire… …to discover that reality is not that much different. Except that the fire is mostly out. Then he tries to move. An almost superhuman effort gets him unstuck from the couch–the _squelch_ing sound is the least of his worries–and he croaks, “Water…” ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/274 "2001-07-11T03:44:47Z")
JEZEBEL! Why I never… I’m not Jezebel that’s another poster! -huffs at Whammo as he goes around saying he got laid- Yah advertise it aaaaallll around why don’tcha? I don’t need a reputation specially considering how unsullied mine is. -straightens the halo that appears at a rakish tilt over her head- Hey Hamlet! Thirsty? -gets her water gun and sprays it in the direction of his mouth only it’s filled with vodka instead of water- ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/275 "2001-07-11T03:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\ ***detop** , that’s not how they’re meant to be used! Hmph! I thought boys from la belle province were a little more _adventurous_. \*\* Hey, I resemble that remark !! [sub]grumble, grumble, _les québécois ne sont pas aventureux, han, tu vas vois ma belle **Ginger** _ ! Follows **Whammo** and **Ginger** to the rubber room. Assess the situation, locate an opening (pun intended).[/sub] CHARGE ! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/276 "2001-07-11T04:01:32Z")
Ow! Hey! **Whammo** , just remember that my head doesn’t come off like yours does. I guess with a Francophone it really is a menage a trois! [sub]I can’t believe I am saying such things[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/277 "2001-07-11T04:09:04Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by detop \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Follows **Whammo** and **Ginger** to the rubber room. Assess the situation, locate an opening (pun intended).[/sub] > > CHARGE ! \*\* HEY!! You’re not invited!! GET OUT!! Then leave the rubber room. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/278 "2001-07-11T04:09:29Z")
**Whammo** , buddy, move a little bit to your left, yea, like that, now, raise your left arm and right leg, OK ? Now, on the count of three… ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/279 "2001-07-11T04:13:04Z")
::The door to the rubber room opens. hardygrrl is on the floor as Jeff Hardy licks whipped cream off of her back:: Guys…just five more minutes. Please. ::Jeff picks hardygrrl up, throws her over his shoulder and carries her to the Jello Pit:: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422/280 "2001-07-11T04:17:13Z")
Jeff Hardy can still walk? **hardy** , you need to get to work on the boy! Guys, I think I need to go wash my brain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behave-now-kids-and-dont-touch-the-stereo/71422.md?page=15)