# Behold, Jester, Killer of Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178 "2000-08-29T13:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/241 "2000-09-07T14:47:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*Don’t think I don’t see your little plan, struuter. I’m over here fighting off this damned thread, thinking I’m protecting you, and you’re sneaking off to a completely DIFFERENT thread to have fantasies with xizor. Fine. > And good morning to all. \*\* I didn’t know you cared, Sauron. You strike me as the strong, silent type. The sort of man who doesn’t have time for a woman. Haven’t I stroked your virile ego enough? 🙂 I can do more, if you like. Just don’t step in that puddle of drool. Stuff is like battery acid. Now, where to start? _cracks knuckles_ The solid determination set in the line of your jaw? The dauntless gleam in your observant eye? The firm prowess of your body? The…the…whew…I need to sit down. _fans self_ Damn, Sauron. You better take a few steps back…I’m getting the vapahs… ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/242 "2000-09-07T14:54:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*_whispering_ That’s it, will. Great job. The thread appears to be asleep. > > Now we can see about extracting Jester. Anybody wanna lend me a hand? > > Jeesh. Look at all that drool. Gross. \*\* Shouldn’t be a problem as long as **Jester** keeps a firm grip on me sword. Hold on tight, **Jester**! I’ll run backwards and drag you out of the beast’s belly! ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/243 "2000-09-07T15:00:19Z")
\ Sword? Sword? Oh, yeah, I had a sword when I was down here. Hmmm…wonder where that got to… \ Oh…phooey. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/244 "2000-09-07T15:03:22Z")
Uh, Tymp, that drool is already slippery enough. If Jester keeps a firm grip on your sword and you run backwards, we may be slipping in more than drool around here. If you get my drift. You master swordsman, you. struuter, I appreciate the kind words, but I think the noxious fumes that still permeate my clothing as a result of my ill-advised foray into the Netherworld of the Beast (literally) have blinded you to my true nature. I’m a wimp. Honestly. Doesn’t mean I don’t want the thread to die, though. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/245 "2000-09-07T15:09:37Z")
Okay for you, Sauron. You’re SUPPOSED to say something like, “I do what I can, ma’am. Being this incredibly brave and wonderful is somewhat draining–even for the masterful likes of me.” When someone gives you a compliment–TAKE IT! And as for the drool…_unties the neck of her cloak of waterwalking and lays it over the bubbling puddles of drool_ Try using that, guys. But hurry…I’m getting cold. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/246 "2000-09-07T15:24:46Z")
Point well taken, struuter. Although you could have made your point without swatting me on the nose with that newspaper. That’s just degrading. You have a cloak of waterwalking? Cool. I used to have this really nifty ring, but I lost it. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/247 "2000-09-07T15:28:49Z")
Wow. **struuter** , I never would have guessed that you weren’t wearing anything under that cloak. That’s a good look for you. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/248 "2000-09-07T15:33:58Z")
Love, Sauron. It’s all love. No degradation at all. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, “Yes. I am the shit. I am because struuter tells me so.” (Notice, that’s THE shit. Not A shit. See the difference?) 🙂 Like I said, it’s all love. Holy cripes! _grabs Tymp’s waist and pulls_ Get Jester outta there! The big, gross thing is waking up! Quick! Somebody get particlewill! We need more stories! Jeez, Sauron…I WISH you still had that ring. Jester might be hurt and anything would be great to REGENERATE his health… ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/249 "2000-09-07T15:35:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > \*\*Wow. **struuter** , I never would have guessed that you weren’t wearing anything under that cloak. That’s a good look for you. \*\* You think so? I was sorta hoping nobody’d notice. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/250 "2000-09-07T16:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > > \*\*Wow. **struuter** , I never would have guessed that you weren’t wearing anything under that cloak. That’s a good look for you. \*\* > > You think so? I was sorta hoping nobody’d notice. \*\* You have GOT to be kidding. I’m getting dizzy just THINKING about that. Why are we here again? … Oh, the thread, that’s right. Well, now I just have added incentive to kill it. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/251 "2000-09-07T16:58:41Z")
_blush_ ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/252 "2000-09-07T17:24:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > You have GOT to be kidding. I’m getting dizzy just THINKING about that. > > Why are we here again? … Oh, the thread, that’s right. Well, now I just have added incentive to kill it. \*\* Don’t be silly, you don’t want to kill the thread! If you hang around looking like you’re trying to kill the thread, but still in need of protection from drool, she’ll carry on being dresse, urm, undressed, like that… Men! How do they miss these little (or not so little!) details? Struuter, honey, I don’t have a regeneration device, but I found some of particle Will’s moonshine…it should kill the thread or heal Jester, or make him not care about being in pain anyway, so shall I chuck it in there? _thinks_ must take it out of big bottle first… ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/253 "2000-09-07T17:28:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > > Struuter, honey, I don’t have a regeneration device, but I found some of particle Will’s moonshine…it should kill the thread or heal Jester, or make him not care about being in pain anyway, so shall I chuck it in there? > > _thinks_ must take it out of big bottle first… \*\* That oughta do it. Er something anyway. If we can just pull Jester clear of that gaping maw…y’know, he’s gonna love you for thinking of this. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/254 "2000-09-07T18:00:47Z")
Having seen the effects of that moonshine, I’m not sure Jester is gonna be real pleased about getting it. It might be a fate worse than being eaten by the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/255 "2000-09-07T18:04:46Z")
Gah! Don’t give it any more liquor! You’ve already made it sprout a new head! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/256 "2000-09-07T21:26:03Z")
I agree, Tymp … I think this thing just likes alcohol of all kinds. Maybe a different tack is in order. I’m gonna read some Walt Whitman to it. It nearly killed me in college; maybe it’ll work on this thing. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/257 "2000-09-07T21:29:38Z")
Guys? Um…hate to bother you, but…can I get that cloak back at time soon? bbbrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/258 "2000-09-07T22:14:11Z")
You’re not gonna be one of those people that gives you something, then wants it right back, are you? I mean, is it MY fault that you look great naked? ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/259 "2000-09-07T22:28:38Z")
Hey guys I feel real bad bout trying to kill you guys ☹ I have changed my ways and wish to be a thread killer if you’ll accept me. I am reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally soooooooooory! ---
**Author:** ![poppyp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@poppyp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poppyp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/260 "2000-09-07T22:42:39Z")
Somebody try poetry, that usually does it! Killer of many … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=14)