# Behold, Jester, Killer of Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178 "2000-08-29T13:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/261 "2000-09-08T13:13:29Z")
Okay, where’s my old copy of “Leaves of Grass”? Surely I didn’t burn it after college, did I? Or cast it back into the Pit from whence it came? Ah, hell. I’ll just wing it. Hey Thread! Did you know Chicago is the “hog butcher to the world”? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/262 "2000-09-08T13:29:41Z")
_steps behind Sauron, blushing. Chin on his shoulder, calls to thread_ Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrave. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jujub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought – So rested he by the Tumtum gree, And stood awhile in thought And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! and through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrave. _gives Sauron a peck on the cheek_ A little Lewis Carroll for us, the mighty Thread Slayers, this morning. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/263 "2000-09-08T15:11:19Z")
\ Morning all. Man, you would not BELIEVE what the last few days were like. I mean, I’m just lucky that I had my lucky spork with me, so that I could burrow out of that thing’s stomach. Jester’s first rule of thumb, never leave the house without a spork. Damn, that thread’s gastric acid went and corroded the bells on my hat! Bastard. Now it’s personal. What? My ordeal? Well, that is a long and intriguing story. I believe that you all saw me jump into the maw of the beast, and from then on I…OOOH!! Donuts!! Mmmm…this is good. Anyway, once I fell in I…OOOH! Coffee! Yeah, that hits the spot. So, as I was saying…OOOH! NAKED CHICK!! \ Hey, baby, I’ve been in a stomach for the past 2 days. Wanna go someplace? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/264 "2000-09-08T15:17:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > Yeah, that hits the spot. So, as I was saying…OOOH! NAKED CHICK!! > \ > > Hey, baby, I’ve been in a stomach for the past 2 days. Wanna go someplace? \*\* Naked CHICK??! That’s naked thread slaying chick, bub. 😃 Thanks for the hug…I think _begins wiping off gunk_ Nice pick-up line, too. Very original. Eat your breakfast. Take a bath. We’ll talk. {{{{smooch}}}} Good to see you safe and sound. _opens Bag of Holding; starts digging_ Give your hat first…I know I’ve some bells in here someplace… ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/265 "2000-09-08T15:19:41Z")
Now…if I’d have just remembered to put some clothes in here… ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/266 "2000-09-08T15:21:57Z")
Yeah, baths are good. This slime stuff is beginning to cake, and it’s gettin really hard to move. So, I’ll just mosey on over to the…OOOH! BOOZE! \ :eek: God, I really have to get a better attention span. \ ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/267 "2000-09-08T15:22:40Z")
Wow. Employing the Jabberwock to defeat the mighty thread of evil. This is starting to look like a script for a Godzilla movie. **Jester** , man, I think you could use a good hot bath. **struuter** might scrub your back if you ask nicely. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/268 "2000-09-08T15:27:36Z")
_now digging elbow-deep in bag, muttering to self_ bells…bells… _looks up at Jester in a heap in front of her_ bells…soap…potion…smelling salts…bathtub… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/269 "2000-09-08T16:28:46Z")
… pressure washer … sandpaper … ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/270 "2000-09-08T16:59:03Z")
_pulls pack of batteries out of bag, expression of surprise_ HERE they are… _looks back into bag_ …rubbing alcohol…gauze… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/271 "2000-09-08T19:36:28Z")
Hey, are those D batteries? I could use them in my lightsaber. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/272 "2000-09-08T19:48:22Z")
“Lightsaber”? Is that what they’re called these days? I’m getting’ old. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/273 "2000-09-08T19:53:12Z")
Oh, you’re evil, Tymp. I like that. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/274 "2000-09-08T19:54:36Z")
Can’t be, Tymp. Uh-uh. Unless Sauron is Steve Austin…I don’t think he needs batteries for it. ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/275 "2000-09-08T21:01:53Z")
Oh my…Jester. get thee to a bath! I was out on the MPSIMS main page an followed the stench back in here. Yeeech! ::ruffles through her ever-present duffle bag:: Here- I stole this from the Hilton down the road for you ::hands Jester a big fluffy robe:: Now just promise to share it with Struuter 😃 ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/276 "2000-09-08T21:09:03Z")
Bless you, sweet friend. I thank you. My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My little furry…HAMSTER thanks you. Jeesh, you people. Oh, nice sig. I’m honored. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/277 "2000-09-08T22:15:34Z")
Um, struuter, honey, the robe will work better if you close it BEFORE you belt it. Not that I’m complaining, you understand. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/278 "2000-09-08T22:49:24Z")
Ungh…man, that was some good stuff. \ \ I feel like I’ve just been neutered. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/279 "2000-09-09T07:36:41Z")
Least you still have your kidneys. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/280 "2000-09-09T10:08:17Z")
…Whut? Yawn…Bubble baths? Hell I remember the time I tried to give ol’ Betsy a bubble bath… No… I can’t do it… I can only be SO cruel… Sorry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=15)