# Behold, Jester, Killer of Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178 "2000-08-29T13:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/341 "2000-09-12T21:05:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > Uh, sorry struuter, I slipped in your puddle… Is that what they’re calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/342 "2000-09-12T21:09:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > Cup cakes, huh? Well, thanks for the…compliment? Well, that’s how I’ll take it. Always the optimist… Cup cakes in only the most flattering way, of course. If it will make you feel better, I like melons too! _And soft, supple skin, and the sound of a woman’s laugh, and the way the sun plays off of the shimmering highlights of her hair. The way she struuts down the beach, frolicking in the surf, the way_…uh, I better go now. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/343 "2000-09-12T21:09:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > > Uh, sorry struuter, I slipped in your puddle… > > Is that what they’re calling it these days? > \*\* WHAT?! ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/344 "2000-09-12T21:17:45Z")
XXXXXXXXXXXxx Damn! Ignore this - I posted to the wrong thread. Mea Culpa. XXXXXXXXXXXXX ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/345 "2000-09-12T21:53:16Z")
Smooth, Lamar, very smooth. But I think this thread is too wily to be killed by that little misdirection ploy. struuter – take that earlier comment about puddle-slipping any way you want. You tease, you. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/346 "2000-09-12T22:36:10Z")
I have an announcement, everyone. I posted what I thought was a very thought-provoking thread today. It was the first time I’ve started a thread. The last time I saw it, it was heading for the bottom of Challenger Deep. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen something die so fast. I’m so overqualified for King Threadkiller, it ain’t funny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/347 "2000-09-12T22:41:09Z")
OK, I set up the computer in the garage, and I closed the windows and the doors. I’ve got this thread up on the screen, and the car is running. There. The garage is filling with carbon monoxide, and soon…whoa!..soon the thread…will…die…Oof, I feel real sleepy now … Huh? Oh. Yeah, so, this will kill it…for sure… z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z … :thud: ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/348 "2000-09-12T23:33:52Z")
Hi I got the Ben & jerry’s - you wouldn’t believe how long it took - you weren’t trying to get my out of the way so that you could claim the thread killing glory, were you? I dunno, just cos I don’t drop my cloak at every opportunity like some people I could mention! \ & what’s knisch? ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/349 "2000-09-12T23:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* & what’s knisch? It’s made from potatoes, sort of like a squarish potato patty with a golden toasty outside. Goes good with mustard. [best Jewish mother voice] You vant I should get you one? So you can nosh on a knish. Eat, bubbala, you’re too skinny [/best Jewish mother voice] ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/350 "2000-09-13T02:27:05Z")
Wow, you KNOW this thread has everything when it’s got scribes. Struuter, Sauron, I thank you for keeping the history of this thread in the records, and also for all the compliments. (And Sauron, whatever “reviled” means, I’ll take it as a compliment. :)) I’d just like to say that this thread has honestly been the most fun I’ve had on this message board. It’s built my courage, helped me get to know people, and given me valuable lessons on thread anatomy (from first-hand experience). I’m only TOO happy to have started it, since it’s paid off. And now we have new arrivals! HELLO, guys! Welcome to our thread. Will you be staying long? Of course you will, this thing’s addictive. But don’t worry, the rent’s not TOO high. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/351 "2000-09-13T04:00:45Z")
Hey! fierra! Wait up with that ice cream…!! Ferget it Dire Wolf, The Megathread cannot be subdued by mere Carbon Monoxide. Much deadlier methods have failed… Hell, Jester leaped into the gullet of his hellspawned child to slaughter it from within and came up slimy, stinky somewhat digested, and totaly unsuccessful. (With the thread that is. He did get several snacks and a personal bathing from a lovely naked chic…Almost jumped down that gullet myself after that, but I was too bust with my own unsuccessful ploy.) No I think that the only way to kill it was the way I mentioned before…But like the others, I have grown fond of the big lug…_sigh_ And, like Jester says, this thread really helped me outta my posting shell too… ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/352 "2000-09-13T04:02:26Z")
HOLY FLIPPIN JEBUS! I just turned this thing over to PAGE FREEKIN EIGHT! This has long since passed silly… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/353 "2000-09-13T13:19:32Z")
I just dropped my puppy off at a vet’s to be boarded while I go on vacation. I’m gonna show the thread the bill. If that doesn’t kill it, nothing will. Any sausages around this morning? I brought some juice. Morning, all. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/354 "2000-09-13T14:17:30Z")
Well. Page eight it is. Good job, will. Good morning all, I brought breakfast. Doughnuts, eggs, bacon, quiche, toast, you name it. I had to run home to get some clothes so I made breakfast. Please eat, or I’ll be deeply hurt. _takes chocolate, sprinkle doughnut to fierra_ This…is for you. You’re far too lovely to sit there all alone. _hands new, gold-plated spork to Jester_ Here you go. Thought it might help the old fortitude. I think you’re a great poster. _hands particlewill a journal and pen_ Write those down. You’ll wish you had later. They’re too funny to let go. _hands Dire Wolf and Ogre soft, fuzzy bathrobes_ These are for you guys. I know, I know. You don’t get it. But you will–I can just tell by your enthusiasm–you will need them. _hands Tymp a can of DW-40_ Er…um…you know what this is for…can’t have you distracted by minor things… _hands Sauron a fresh knish_ The Prevailing Knish. Made just for you. For being here everyday… Enjoy everybody. I’m off to have a talk with this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/355 "2000-09-13T14:46:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > _hands Dire Wolf and Ogre soft, fuzzy bathrobes_ These are for you guys. I know, I know. You don’t get it. But you will–I can just tell by your enthusiasm–you will need them. > > _hands Tymp a can of DW-40_ Er…um…you know what this is for…can’t have you distracted by minor things… > > _hands Sauron a fresh knish_ The Prevailing Knish. Made just for you. For being here everyday… If Dire Wolf and Ogre start doing the same thing with those robes that you do, I’m outta here. If I were Tymp, I believe I’d be insulted by the “minor things” comment. Thank you very much for the knish. If I die before this thread does, I will always remember your kindness and generosity. That, and that little mole way high up on the inside of your thigh. You cutie, you. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/356 "2000-09-13T15:01:21Z")
Hehe. ‘Minor things’ was intended to be the squeaking. I would never make a comment about…uh…endowment… You get me into so much trouble, Sauron. Honestly. I will refrain from making any response to your ‘mole’ comment. Lord knows how much trouble that would get me into. Keep your spork handy. I go to reason with the thread. If I’m not back in ten minutes…well, remember me kindly. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/357 "2000-09-13T15:02:29Z")
::YYYYAAAAAWWWWWNNNN:: Got any grits? Pass the coffee and no one gets hurt. Hmmmm…the bathrobe is…well, a kind gesture, I think. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/358 "2000-09-13T15:17:59Z")
Is anyone else beginning to think that this thread resembles the movie “Apollo 13”? A few good people trapped in a small world, hoping desperately to survive? I’m beginning to get weak. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/359 "2000-09-13T15:45:51Z")
_small sound comes from direction of the thread’s mouth_ um…help? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/360 "2000-09-13T16:16:04Z")
Holy cow! I was so wrapped up in my own problems, I clean forgot about struuter! Hang on, sweetie! Help’s coming! Tymp! Unlimber that codpiece, man! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=19)