# Behold, Jester, Killer of Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178 "2000-08-29T13:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/81 "2000-08-31T18:46:19Z")
Ooooooooohh…firecrackers…huh huh. \ Ah, sorry. All better now. Nice try, strut, but you ain’t taking me out of this contest. Though, I thought I heard grem calling you…so if you wanna leave, it’s understandable. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/82 "2000-08-31T19:08:25Z")
Damnit, man! Can’t you see I’m lover, not a fighter? Who’s the enemy here? Not me, I can assure you. It’s this godforsaken thread. Don’t want my firecrackers? Okaaaaaay. I was just talking about blowing up your G.I. Joes anyhow. Jeeez. Some things never change. The boys never let the girls play the fun games… _kicks dirt, stuffing hands in her pockets_ ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/83 "2000-08-31T20:37:06Z")
Awwwwww…I’m sorry Strut. This war has made me grizzled and paranoid. I realize now that the thread is the enemy, and yinz guys is just helping? Are we friends? I’ll let you play with my trucks, and even let you into the clubhouse! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/84 "2000-08-31T20:46:16Z")
You’re the best, J. _pulls out firecrackers_ How 'bout a nice game of Let’s-Blow-Up-Plastic-Stuff-And-Watch-It-Melt? I brought my bag of green army men. _shakes the bag, eyeing it devilishly_ Helllloooo boys. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/85 "2000-08-31T21:20:44Z")
. . . so, there I was, surrounded by a hundred thousand rowdy Oklahomans. I had nothing to rely on but my army training. So, what did I do? I dug a foxhole. I jumped down into it. I had a bottle of beer in each hand and a case at my feet. I broke the first one over my head screaming, “I don’t care how many it takes! You sons o’ bitches best leave me the fuck alone!” . . . ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/86 "2000-08-31T21:33:32Z")
is there a doctor in the house? I thionk Tymp needs to be detoxed from the plastic fumes…Told you it wasn’t a good idea! I’m gonna go tell unca cece what you’re doing out here. :::runs toward house screaming "unca Ceeeeece?!?!?!::: ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/87 "2000-08-31T21:37:15Z")
Mom? Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/88 "2000-08-31T21:38:42Z")
Damn post lag-time. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/89 "2000-08-31T23:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > \*\*I know the best way to kill this thread, I know that this is drastic, but sometimes drastic measures are called for. :ahem: What are the three words ending in “Gry”? > :ducks and runs like hell: > Keith \*\* OK Keith, I am too hungry and too angry to explain to you right now that this riddle’s cleverness lies in telling it corectly … \ For the love of God!!! The thread is emerging from the flaming vat of hydrochloric acid looking longer, stronger and more vigourous than ever. This does indeed call for drastic measures. Let’s see where did I put that Godzilla that I had during the bar fight. Hear lizard, lizard, lizard ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/90 "2000-09-01T02:37:24Z")
Forget Godzilla! We got nukes! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! \ Wait, didn’t nukes just make Godzilla and them STRONGER? Uh oh. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/91 "2000-09-01T03:05:44Z")
**Jester** , dude, you’ve gone from thread killer to thread necrophiliac. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Wobbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wobbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wobbie)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/92 "2000-09-01T03:08:36Z")
Hehe, who needs to use conventional weapons, when I can use… Duh Duh Duh …MY BODY ODOR!!! Yes, that’s right, I am just going to stand here. Not bathing, not moving. Eventually, everyone will leave from sheer disgust. Hahaha Then I will be alone to kill this thread once and for all. Hahahahahahahahahahaghhghghgh…crap. I swallowed a bug. \ ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/93 "2000-09-01T03:13:11Z")
\ Ahem, there. Anybody else wanna help hose down Wobbie? Maybe we can drown the thread while we’re at it. If it’s back from destroying Tokyo yet. ---
**Author:** ![Wobbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wobbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wobbie)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/94 "2000-09-01T03:19:15Z")
Haha, now you shoudl now better than that Jester. I will just wear a rain coat. Then, the water will not affect me, and the stench will be magnified ten times because of the warm plastic. Hahahah… \ This thread will be mine!!! ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/95 "2000-09-01T05:09:10Z")
Sorry folks, you seem to be having fun, but this is how I have as much power as any of the moderators: now that the name ‘HenrySpencer’ is on the ‘last post’ column, it’s as good as a lock on the thread. Henry"cue the last post"Spencer ---
**Author:** ![Prosser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@Prosser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prosser)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/96 "2000-09-01T05:56:36Z")
Just for spite I had to post something. Keep it going, I dare ya’! ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/97 "2000-09-01T08:20:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mojo57 \* > \*\*I should definitely use the preview button. Reading back that last post, I noticed it is loaded with double meanings. > > BTW I do have two huge bazookas aimed at this thread’s head. \*\* Tell me about your double meanings. I have NO desire to see ANYONE’S “big ‘ass-stick’”! :eek: Your bazookas, on the other hand…Say, mojo57, allow me to introduce myself. I’m **DRY**. I flirt with the women here. 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/98 "2000-09-01T11:27:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\*[Tell me about your double meanings. I have NO desire to see ANYONE’S “big ‘ass-stick’”! 😃 \*\* Well, while I too have no desire to see a BIG ass-stick, the thought of a BIG-ASS stick does intrigue me. Would you happen to be in possession of such an item? _blushes coyly_ _Flutters eyelashes_ Oh my, did I say that outloud? Allow myself to introduce myself. I’m mojo57. I pretend not to notice when I’m being flirted with. It makes the flirter try ever so much harder. Harder is good. 😃 _mojo pulls double bazookas out of her bra and sets off the track down the thread who has gotten just a little too big for its britches and must be punished severely_ ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/99 "2000-09-01T12:57:35Z")
_brings in tray of lattes, coffees and teas, and box of bagels and doughnuts_ Morning, mojo. How’s the thread? Ahhh, I see it still breathes. Want some breakfast? Breakfast of thread killers…coffee and doughnuts. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/100 "2000-09-01T13:33:49Z")
I distinctly recall ordering a knish. Where the hell are the knishes? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=6)