# Behold, Jester, Killer of Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178 "2000-08-29T13:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/141 "2000-09-01T19:53:14Z")
As much as I’d love it if you were the one to kill this thread, Struuter, I think it ought to be me. Now that I’ve posted, not even a rescue 911 call placed by William Shatner himself could save this puppy. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/142 "2000-09-01T19:56:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShamaFrog \* > \*\*Hey struuter- > I brought the vet in to look at your bare naked hamster…it seems to be alive! > > and I agree- this is probably almost as fun as the satanic woodchuck thread… \*\* Shama, will you be my new best friend? That was really cool of you. Especially because now people will read that other thread and wonder what in hell you’re talking about. You are too cool. You probably just breathed another two pages worth of life into that bare naked thread. 🙂 I did, honestly, feel bad about that thread dying like that. It was cute and DuhMan is new–I know there’s nothing more depressing than having a thread peter-out like that when you’re trying to get your feel. Heck, I can’t keep my own thread alive past one page. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/143 "2000-09-01T20:01:46Z")
Sometimes, after I kill a thread, I like to dress it in pink frilly things and take its picture. Other times, I just cook it and eat it. To quote someone (JimmyNipples, I think) from a different thread: “It puts the lotion in the basket.” Has anyone stopped to consider that this thread may actually be stronger than any of us? It seems to have killed off a few Dopers at this point when we weren’t looking. Tymp, KneadtoKnow, Trion, and the others … we hardly knew ye. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/144 "2000-09-01T20:06:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*Sometimes, after I kill a thread, I like to dress it in pink frilly things and take its picture. Other times, I just cook it and eat it. > > To quote someone (JimmyNipples, I think) from a different thread: “It puts the lotion in the basket.” > > Has anyone stopped to consider that this thread may actually be stronger than any of us? It seems to have killed off a few Dopers at this point when we weren’t looking. Tymp, KneadtoKnow, Trion, and the others … we hardly knew ye. \*\* Lord, Sauron…but you are funny. 😃 Don’t worry about the others, they’ll be back. The lure of the thread, y’know. It gets in your blood. Probably if we all decided to try to keep this blasted thing ALIVE–it would be the sure kiss of death. But I believe that is what it wants us to do. ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/145 "2000-09-01T20:18:22Z")
[homer]mmmmm…cooked thread [/homer] I like mine lightly sauted with fresh tomatoes and garlic 😃 Thanks Struuter! can I add that to my sig? it’d be an honor to be “struuter’s best friend” 'round these parts (mom always said falttery’ll get me everywhere) Hey! I know! we could invite DuhMan to this thread… ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/146 "2000-09-01T20:19:21Z")
[homer]mmmmm…cooked thread [/homer] I like mine lightly sauted with fresh tomatoes and garlic 😃 Thanks Struuter! can I add that to my sig? it’d be an honor to be “struuter’s best friend” 'round these parts (mom always said flattery’ll get me everywhere) Hey! I know! we could invite DuhMan to this thread… ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/147 "2000-09-01T20:34:47Z")
Hey, it’d be an honor to be in somebody’s sig. Wow. iampunha put me in his and everytime I read one of his posts I have to smile. Tell you what, I’ve got the perfect thing to put in my sig. Just for you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/148 "2000-09-01T20:50:30Z")
Damn double posts! Love the sig, struuter! I am honored. ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/149 "2000-09-01T20:52:20Z")
yes? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/150 "2000-09-01T20:57:23Z")
I have been quoted in another post! And it wasn’t the result of an argument! I reign supreme! Thank you, struuter. If this thread bests me, as is looking more and more likely (even Dark Lords have their limits, you know), at least I’ll be happy somewhere deep in its bowels. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/151 "2000-09-01T21:13:14Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by struuter \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > > And I did issue out plugs and warnings and everything. Where’d you put yours? 😉 > \*\* Struut - I swear when I typed that you were still on pina colada & there were no warnings for that! When I checked back just now & saw the time warp that put mine right below your earplugs post, I knew that this thread was an evil genius out to confuse and separate us! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/152 "2000-09-01T21:25:15Z")
fierra, I figured as much after I got to re-reading. Yeah…the Pina thing definately needed some advanced warning. I am beginning to think this thread is evil. Well, our wanting to slaughter it so mercilessly isn’t what you’d call saint-worthy. I’ve gotta go home pretty soon…rats. And I won’t be back on til Tuesday. (Yeah, I caught that one…) So I guess someone else will be the killer. That’s okay. I’ll miss this though. _sniff_ Maybe we can all get together and do this again… And to whomever wins–job well done. You have my respect and awe. And if this thing is around on Tuesday…wow. That’d be something, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/153 "2000-09-01T21:25:16Z")
Maybe if I let this thread eat me, I could kill it from the inside. Eat me, thread! Eat me! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/154 "2000-09-01T21:28:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*Maybe if I let this thread eat me, I could kill it from the inside. > > Eat me, thread! Eat me! \*\* Oh no! Not that way. I like you way too much to have to add some sad thing to my sig like: The last poster to see Sauron alive. Don’t do it, buddy. See? I even quoted you again. Isn’t life too sweet for that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/155 "2000-09-01T21:43:40Z")
I appreciate the sentiment, struuter, but what if this thread kills again? I mean, think about it … have you seen Jester around here lately? His creation may have destroyed him. You could be right, though. Maybe I need to go at this from a different angle. Where’s the anus on this damn thing? ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/156 "2000-09-01T21:49:31Z")
Sauron goes for the ring - how appropriate! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/157 "2000-09-01T21:52:52Z")
Okay, that one made me laugh out loud. Now that I’m back here, this thing is BIG. How in the hell did that little halfling tote this all over Middle Earth? I may want to rethink this strategy. Pshew. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/158 "2000-09-01T22:12:13Z")
Hey Sauron, my precious For the love of God, Don’t go there :eek: I never figured you for the kind man who would sneak in the back door, ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/159 "2000-09-01T22:13:21Z")
This thread is such a twisted and warped asshole, it would probably like it. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178/160 "2000-09-02T08:33:21Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by mojo57 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Allow myself to introduce myself. I’m mojo57. I pretend not to notice when I’m being flirted with. It makes the flirter try ever so much harder. > \*\* Sorry, but speaking for myself, this won’t work. I’ll simply look for greener pastures. “He knows the game: how true he keeps the wind!” –King Henry VI, Part 3, Act 3, scene ii \*\* > [@](#): > > Harder is good. 😃 > \*\* Talk like that? You’re getting warmer. 🙂 \*\* > [@](#): > > _mojo pulls double bazookas out of her bra_ > \*\* NOW you’ve got my attention! 😃 Though this: > [@](#): > > \*\* > _mojo pulls bazookas ([which have] gotten just a little too big for [their] britches and must be punished severely) out of her bra_ \*\* Would have been _even better_! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/behold-jester-killer-of-threads/31178.md?page=9)