# Being a functioning alchoholic is not "developing social skills" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572 "2005-06-16T17:02:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/1 "2005-06-16T17:02:03Z")
Ok…I enjoy drinking and socializing as much if not more than the next guy. But I’m freakin sick and tired of people who think that an ability to hang out in a bar until 4:00am is “developing social skills” or getting drunk at happy hour with your coworkers is “team building” or “networking”. The people in the companies where I work with apparently think that it does. Well, which of these activites do you think has enhanced your professional image to me or our clients: -Getting so drunk you can’t speak -Showing up 5 hours late or not at all -Spending the entire day hung over -Losing your laptop in a bar -Passing out in a bar -Telling me my girlfriend is being a “bitch” because she doesn’t like you slobering on me before passing out in a bar -Trying to make out with me in a hotel lobby -Trying to make out with me in a bar -Getting mad at me because I won’t let you make out with me (all different girls 😃 ) -Spilling wine on your boobie -Getting sloppy -Getting into a fist fight or “stepping up” to someone -Hitting on the bosses wife -Hitting yourself in the face with a door (ok I did that one when I was 24) -Dropping $500 in a stripclub -Taking your team to…uh…more than a stripclub -Dancing inappropriately with a subordinate 15 years younger than you -Going into a tirade at the Sr Managing Director of the practice about everything wrong with the company -Bringing your mistress to a company function Now I’m not really a prudish guy. I like to drink and party with my friends. I even like to be friendly and go out for the occasional drink with people from work. I’m not even sure why it pisses me off so much. Anyhow, for you twenty-somethings that think a job like this is “awesome” or you managers who think this is the way to keep your staff happy, here is the reality: -People do not forget how you act when drunk. You are only building a network of people who think you are an alchoholic R-tard -A corporate culture targeting the maturity level of a 23 year old with the maturity of a 17 year old is not sustainable -All the happy hours in the world will not make up for lack of professional growth, low wages, or a bad work environment -Work is not an extension of your college days. It is not a chance to relive your youth. -You want to network, join a professional organization -People get promoted in spite of being the office drunk or slut, not because of it ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/2 "2005-06-16T17:06:17Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > -Trying to make out with me in a hotel lobby > -Trying to make out with me in a bar > -Getting mad at me because I won’t let you make out with me (all different girls 😃 ) Poor baby. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/3 "2005-06-16T17:08:47Z")
huh. I’ve seen/heard about all of the above behaviors from over 20’s too. I’ve poinetedly stayed away from work related/drinking funcitions for exactly the sorts of things you list. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/4 "2005-06-16T17:10:39Z")
I think I need more info about this one before I can decide: > [@](#): > > -Showing up 5 hours late or not at all Would that be showing up 5 hours late to the bar, or to the office the next morning? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/5 "2005-06-16T17:10:48Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > -People get promoted in spite of being the office drunk or slut, not because of it :smack: :smack: :smack: I wonder if it’s too late to change what I wrote on my annual performance appraisal… ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/6 "2005-06-16T17:12:37Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I wonder if it’s too late to change what I wrote on my annual performance appraisal… I take it you have a prehensile liver, too? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/7 "2005-06-16T17:13:41Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > I take it you have a prehensile liver, too? No, I don’t drink. [sub]Not really, but that’s the joke, see?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/8 "2005-06-16T17:16:39Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > …R-tard… PC hyphenation…I kinda like it. It’s less vague and not as offensive as M-loid ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/9 "2005-06-16T17:32:26Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > [sub]Not really, but that’s the joke, see?[/sub] No. 😕☹ Was it funny? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/10 "2005-06-16T17:34:16Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > No. 😕☹ > > Was it funny? _Really_ funny. Laugh! **HARDER!** I CAN’T HEAR YOU, MAGGOT!! ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/11 "2005-06-16T18:22:17Z")
Er…I’m a 30-something, and I’d like to have access to your company’s hiring website. My mistress, too. -Cem ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/12 "2005-06-16T18:31:13Z")
We once had a department happy hour. I went along happily, because I thought it would be fun. The _entire_ time, the VP of our group was trying to get me to order an alcoholic drink - I was sticking with Diet Coke. I kept politely telling him no, I wasn’t interested. But by the end of the afternoon, I was ready to punch him in the face. I CAN HAVE FUN SOBER YOU IMMATURE FUCK. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/13 "2005-06-16T19:29:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > -Trying to make out with me in a hotel lobby > -Trying to make out with me in a bar > -Getting mad at me because I won’t let you make out with me (all different girls 😃 ) I shall be going out for a couple this evening. Wish me luck. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/14 "2005-06-16T19:52:00Z")
You know what I hate about people who drink too much. They tend to repeat themselves. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/15 "2005-06-16T19:52:57Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > We once had a department happy hour (…) by the end of the afternoon, I was ready to punch him in the face. I CAN HAVE FUN SOBER YOU IMMATURE FUCK. So I see. Actually, if punching a VP was on the table, I’d skip the alcohol at _my_ company functions. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/16 "2005-06-16T19:53:54Z")
To clarify, in the interest of continuing employment, I did not actually punch the VP. I’m sure you’re all disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/17 "2005-06-16T19:54:53Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > I shall be going out for a couple this evening. Wish me luck. Hey don’t get me wrong. I’ve got no problem with girls getting drunk and hooking up with me. I just don’t think it really helps our company improve performance is all. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/18 "2005-06-16T19:56:02Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I’ve got no problem with girls getting drunk and hooking up with me. I just don’t think it really helps our company improve performance is all. Man, I _really_ should have talked to you before I wrote my performance appraisal. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/19 "2005-06-16T19:59:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > -Spilling wine on your boobie I manage to do this when I’m totally sober. I’ve even been known to spill water, Diet Coke, and lots of other alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks there. I just tell people I’ve got a little bit of a drinking problem 😉 Some of us are just clumsy, what can I say. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572/20 "2005-06-16T20:15:05Z")
As far as **msmith’s** rants go, this one is pretty decent. Some solid points that could apply to people in college as well, frankly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-functioning-alchoholic-is-not-developing-social-skills/308572.md?page=2)