# Being a guest on late night TV for the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [January 12, 2015, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617 "2015-01-12T11:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/1 "2015-01-12T11:01:37Z")
Here’s the deal: producer of a late-night show had been reading the MMP and decides that \*YOU \*will be a guest to talk to Jimmy or Dave or Conan or whatever host. One of the day-time talk shows is OK, too, if your fantasy prefers. So, who will it be and why were you chosen? What will you talk about? What is your claim to fame? I figure for me it’s a slam-dunk. I’ll be a guest on the new Stephen Colbert show when he takes over for Letterman. Because I’m nice, dammit! I figure Colbert needs to distance himself from the right-wing talking head he played on Comedy Central. What better way to do that than to chat with a nice, middle-of-the-road, non-controversial sweetie like me? 😃 Heck, because I’m nice, I’ll even let you time-travel to chat with a host who’s no longer on the air (or alive, even!) And a good morning to you all. Happy Moanday!! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/2 "2015-01-12T11:05:32Z")
First! Now that the juvenilities are out of the way I shall post. 😃 Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’ _YAWN_ 'Tis 45 Amurrkin with a predicted high of 63 and rain for the day. Looks like kind of a rainy week all around. Oh well, 'tis Winter and Winter in south Jawja means rain. I think I’d like to be a guest on toe old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon because it was a lot funnier and sillier then and I like to be funny and silly. I figure that’d be enough to qualify me as a guest. Thanks **MOOOOOOM** for startin’ us off today. Ok, that’s all I got. I need more caffeine and rumbly tummy wants sustenance. Then, alas and alack, 'tis Moanday so irk purtification must commence. Le sigh. Happy Moanday Y’all! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/3 "2015-01-12T11:53:56Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > First! Now that the juvenilities are out of the way I shall post. 😃 Out of the way?!? Buddy, you ain’t even warmed up yet. 😉 Blurf. VWife is in mourning today. With the lone exception of the NE Patriots, every football team she was rooting for lost over the weekend. As for talk shows, I haven’t seen one in many decades, so I don’t know who I’d get along with. I’ll pull a SWAG and say mebbe Conan ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/4 "2015-01-12T12:50:40Z")
Blurf[sup]2[/sup] When I was in junior high/high school, and I was still absolutely positive I was destined to become a Broadway Diva, I would imagine myself, as an adult, on the Merv Griffin show, singing something from my new Tony winning musical, and being presented with a surprise guest - my HS boyfriend with whom I’d lost touch. Nowadays, I’d like to be on The Daily Show, notable for having written a book about something awesome (no idea what). eta **Bobbio** - what does the S in SWAG stand for? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/5 "2015-01-12T12:58:05Z")
I can answer for \*\*BBBobbio \*\*- Scientific. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/6 "2015-01-12T12:59:48Z")
Started the day as I always start the day - by getting out of bed way later than I’d planned. This has got to stop. ---
**Author:** ![Sario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sario/32/18580_2.png) [@Sario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sario)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/7 "2015-01-12T13:37:56Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Started the day as I always start the day - by getting out of bed way later than I’d planned. This has got to stop. My alarms ensures I get up at the proper time, my problem is getting to bed at something resembling a reasonable time. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/8 "2015-01-12T13:46:22Z")
Blurf. Migraine. I’d like to go back to bed but work won’t get any less worklike if I take the day off. Plus I have meetings. Good thing I can telecommute. I’d be on The Daily Show because of my passion for single-payer healthcare. I’m a bit of a wonk about it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/9 "2015-01-12T13:57:42Z")
I have no idea who I’d go on or why. So there’s your answer. Just popping in to say hello, add one more blurf to the collective, and wish everyone a good day. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/10 "2015-01-12T14:00:21Z")
The Daily Show would be my second choice… oh who am I kidding - Jon’s my first choice! But since I’m so nice, dammit, I felt obligated to help out Colbert launch his new show. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/11 "2015-01-12T14:09:30Z")
I would be on the Johnny Carson Show, along with Don Rickles and Dean Martin. I’m not funny but they are/were, so people would assume funny by association. My claim to fame is that (shamelessly stealing from Katharine Hepburn) “stone sober I find myself perfectly fascinating.” Plus I know a lot of useless information.Rosie, you can go across the hall to Kramer’s apartment where he has assembled the set of the Merv Griffin show that he found in the dumpster. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/12 "2015-01-12T14:12:57Z")
No school today! Woohoo!!! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/13 "2015-01-12T14:14:18Z")
**Sticky** , what are you, 8??? 😛 😃 Snow? Ice? Alien invasion? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/14 "2015-01-12T14:54:15Z")
> [@Sario](#): > > My alarms ensures I get up at the proper time, my problem is getting to bed at something resembling a reasonable time. Shark-a-pult expert here. You should put your mattress on a catapult (tied to the alarm clock). There’s a large motivation not to oversleep lest you become intimately familiar with the far wall. :eek: Fallon or Stewart, though with going back could add Leno or Ferguson to the list. I definitely have some cool topics I _could_ talk about, but I think I’d pass, I’d rather sit in the control room, more my style. However, **Mooommm** , I’d like to point out that you didn’t answer your own question; what are you going to talk about? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/15 "2015-01-12T14:55:58Z")
This Firday is pay day. One would think _everybody_ would know this and get their dang time in to get paid. Nope. I get phone calls asking if this is payday week. This in spite of the fact that I sent out brand spankin’ new color coded payroll calendars on January second to each and every person. **StickyBuns** yay for no skool! Try not to get in too much trouble, ok? 😃 **{{{grouchyrabbit}}}** feel better soonest. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/16 "2015-01-12T15:12:24Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I can answer for \*\*BBBobbio \*\*- Scientific. Bingo. All you Sharkapult experts out there: did you see the advertisement this weekend involving the Piranha Apocalypse? It featured a supercell thunderstorm raining the notorious cattle eating fish everywhere. Just a suggestion if you want to go all WMD. I suggest you start with ISIS. It was a Vonage advert. Let your own fingers do the Googling… ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/17 "2015-01-12T15:12:50Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > Rosie, you can go across the hall to Kramer’s apartment where he has assembled the set of the Merv Griffin show that he found in the dumpster. Yeah, I moved out of that building. That weirdo kept bursting in to my apartment uninvited ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/18 "2015-01-12T15:16:46Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Yeah, I moved out of that building. That weirdo kept bursting in to my apartment uninvited :goose: ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/19 "2015-01-12T15:27:54Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > However, **Mooommm** , I’d like to point out that you didn’t answer your own question; what are you going to talk about? Why, my unrequited love for you, of course! I’ve kept it a secret for far too long! Or I could talk about my cats. They’re cool, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/20 "2015-01-12T15:29:01Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > So, who will it be and why were you chosen? What will you talk about? What is your claim to fame? It should be Swampbear. If its me you will need to invent a time machine because I will not bother for anyone less that Carson or Steve Allen. And the whole time travel thing would make for enough of a reason and something to talk about. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617.md?page=2)