# Being a guest on late night TV for the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [January 12, 2015, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617 "2015-01-12T11:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/21 "2015-01-12T15:35:53Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > I would be on the Johnny Carson Show, along with Don Rickles and Dean Martin. I’m not funny but they are/were, so people would assume funny by association. Good plan. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/22 "2015-01-12T16:17:15Z")
Up and caffeinated. Doing laundry before work tonight. \*\*Mooommmm[/nb], I could go on Letterman to discuss my cartoons. Or if I had that time machine, I could go get my childhood dog for Stupid Pet Tricks(she would eat corn off the cob and drink beer out of a bottle.) Feel better, **MiffedRabbit** ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/23 "2015-01-12T16:18:56Z")
Happy Moonday! It’s a gloomy rainy 33 degrees. I am so happy I irk from home. I overslept today, probably because it is so dark outside. Today, like most Moondays is phone call day. I know I have calls to make, I have no idea how many until I consult my list. Most should not be too irritating. I don’t watch talk shows, if I wanted conversation I’d be married. I used to watch Letterman’s Top Ten List but even that got old. However I could go on Dr Phil, because despite his advanced degree he gets it wrong pretty often and he needs somebody there to tell him so. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/24 "2015-01-12T16:21:16Z")
Everyone will want on to Letterman, so even though I’ve liked his work, there’s no way in hell I’d be allowed on. (I can almost hear him chuckling and saying that before the crash sound as he tosses away a cue card). Seriously… Jeb Bush, Rand Paul, and Chris Christie vanilla pudding wrestling in sailor suits couldn’t get on his show at this point in time, so that’s out. Conan would have this bemused look, throw up his hands and ask, “…why are you …here?” Jimmy Kimmel would probably have something vicious planned; of all the late night hosts, he’d be the one I’d vote most likely to have a bucket of pig’s blood rigged up into the rafters over the guest’s chair… and berate the audience if they didn’t laugh after he dropped it. “Oh…Come-on…!” Cobert would be interesting; we could bet on whether his puppy can do back flips. “My guest thinks that a dog can do back flips. My friends, a dog is INCAPABLE of doing back flips. Ever. Its just… a dog…” “I think I’m going to have to disagree with you there. I have a web-cam set up…” _shows his dog happily doing one or two back flips in his yard_ “We seem to be having technical problems here… there’s nothing coming through. We’ll have the control room look at it & get back to you.” But truthfully? Bill Maher. If I could get a seat on one of his panels, I’d love it, because he lets the free-form fly. But he doesn’t know me or read me (or us) so he’d never agree to it. Besides, I’m pretty sure the line waiting to get on that show is longer than half of one whole percent of the unemployment lines across America combined. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/25 "2015-01-12T16:25:11Z")
Afternoon, mumpers! It is cold, grim and getting dark over here in the Wet Midlands so not a very inspiring picture at all. I don’t watch talk shows these days, people annoy me far too often and that’s just the presenters. If I was going to be a guest on one of them, it would have to be Jeremy Kyle just so that I could smack him in the face and tell him to stop inviting Teh Stoopit on his show because he just encourages them. In other news, I have now coughed so much and so hard that I’ve cracked a rib (or so the doc said when I hauled myself to the local crawl-in centre on Friday). I have medicine and instructions not to cough, laugh too much or do anything strenuous…so I have come to work instead. The good news today is that my mum should be fit enough to go home tomorrow. She’s had some useful equipment delivered to her flat which should help her with the basics, and I have now ordered her two weeks’ worth of food from a local company who deliver to a lot of people in her position. That delivery will arrive on Wednesday morning and the driver will even put it all in the freezer for her 🙂 Feel better, sickies! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/26 "2015-01-12T16:37:56Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > However I could go on Dr Phil, because despite his advanced degree he gets it wrong pretty often and he needs somebody there to tell him so. I can’t stand him, but I’d pay money to watch you keep him in line! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grrlbrarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrlbrarian/32/4048_2.png) [@Grrlbrarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrlbrarian)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/27 "2015-01-12T16:40:54Z")
I shall be on Colbert’s Late Show. Topic of conversation: My recent 23andme dna results have revealed that I am, in fact, an hobbit. We’ll talk about how I always suspected this (being roughly the size of the Teletubbie rabbit) and how, despite the obstacle of my adoption obscuring the facts, I now know all. Subsequently, we’ll nerd out about Middle-Earth, the Shire and whether I’m a Baggins, Proudfoot, or Bracegirdle. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/28 "2015-01-12T16:48:52Z")
**Zombie** I’ll admit to not knowin’ about Middle-Earth (never got into it at all) but bein’ a Bracegirdle sounds painful. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/29 "2015-01-12T16:59:45Z")
((( **GrumpyBunny** ))) I’d say hope your head feels better, but I know that migraines can be a whole body experience, so I’m upping my hopes to include all of you. (( **scareyfaerie** )) Good to hear about your mum, but :eek: for the cracked rib. (Notice that I’m not hugging at all hard.) > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > . . . I’ll be a guest on the new Stephen Colbert show when he takes over for Letterman. . . . Well, I have to visit with Letterman before he goes. I like Colbert, but he wasn’t there when I was putting myself through school delivering pizzas and dragging myself in, in the wee hours. Letterman was. If fantasies count, I’ll be interviewed for my book “Science with Shit.” If not, I’ll have to think up a Stupid Human Trick. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/30 "2015-01-12T17:37:00Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **Zombie** I’ll admit to not knowin’ about Middle-Earth (never got into it at all) but bein’ a Bracegirdle sounds painful. 😃 Better than being one of those awful Sackville-Bagginses. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/31 "2015-01-12T17:39:42Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Better than being one of those awful Sackville-Bagginses. I don’t even want to know! :eek: Forgot to say earlier, **BooFae** ick on the cracked rib. Hope it’s better soonest. Yay for your mum! ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/32 "2015-01-12T17:43:48Z")
I never really watched much late night TV. Could I go on QI? One of the animal related edisodes… I’m having a bit of a dilemma here- rubbish security boss sent me a text this morning, telling me to bring photocopies of my passport, birth certificate, utility bill, national insurance card and driving licence in. He won’t tell me what he intends to do with them- it’s for ‘accreditation’, and that’s all he’ll say. I really don’t want to do this, especially without any clue who he’s sending it all off to, and it turns out, I don’t actually have most of those things available anyway (no bills in my name, my parents have my birth certificate, I lost my national insurance card- which is just a reminder card, it’s not really important as I know the number- my passport’s expired and I was just about to send it off for a new one…). I don’t know what to do- I’m hardly getting any shifts anyway right now, but I don’t have any other income, and if I just say no, I’ll be offers even less (or possibly nothing). How much damage could he actually do by sending all that lot to someone even dodgier that him? ( **Boofae** ) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/33 "2015-01-12T17:44:34Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I don’t even want to know! :eek: It’s probably a reference to some Doctor What character. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/34 "2015-01-12T17:50:23Z")
Oh, and Zombie, you’re not hairy enough to be a Stoor, you definitely have mainly Fallohide ancestry 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/35 "2015-01-12T17:56:33Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > It’s probably a reference to some Doctor What character. Seriously?? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/36 "2015-01-12T18:15:20Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I don’t even want to know! :eek: > > Forgot to say earlier, **BooFae** ick on the cracked rib. Hope it’s better soonest. Yay for your mum! They were the **Flytraps** of Middle Earth > [@Spiderman](#): > > It’s probably a reference to some Doctor What character. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/37 "2015-01-12T18:15:45Z")
I’m with **rio** about getting to bed on time. I vow to myself every night that I’ll be under the covers by 9:15, but it seldom happens that way. Yay, **BooMum**! But I’m sorry for your rib, **BooFae**. ☹ If I were to go on a late night talk show, it would probably be Letterman. We would talk about growing up in Indiana and my latest music project and I’d perform with Paul nad the band. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/38 "2015-01-12T18:22:34Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Better than being one of those awful Sackville-Bagginses. Or the Nose-Thingers. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/39 "2015-01-12T19:55:07Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Or the Nose-Thingers. Is that like Middle-Earth boogers? 'Tis foggy and dreary out. Still no rain and it’s 52 Amurrkin. I’ll take that over snow and ice any day. Other than that just the usual Moanday weirdness at the orifice. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617/40 "2015-01-12T20:02:42Z")
It’s still raining here, which is good - I’m hoping it’s rinsed the truck gunk off. I’ve made the bed with fresh linens and the comforter - the bedspread wasn’t warm enough. I’ve been working on future Nephew-in-law’s afghan and watching NCIS, sorta. I also tried watching Annie Hall, but it kept breaking up. I’m guessing it’s a problem at our cable provider, since it’s an on-demand freebie. Looks like tomorrow will be rain-free, so I’m thinking I’ll get the bedspread washed and hung out. It’s too big for the dryer. I may do a load of jeans also, or just the sheets. We shall see. Meanwhile, I’ve thawed sketty sauce. Supper tonight will be salad, sketties, and some fresh Italian bread with butter. Yum! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-a-guest-on-late-night-tv-for-the-mmp/709617.md?page=3)