# Being friends with a Trump supporter **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2016, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693 "2016-09-24T01:34:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/121 "2016-10-01T15:24:15Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > This thread is a perfect demonstration of why this country’s political atmosphere is such a toxic shitshow. “I can’t be friends with someone who disagrees with me.” Except that literally no one in this thread has made that statement, and in fact the people who point out that they don’t want to be friends with a trump supporter have consistently said the complete opposite. Would you seriously be friends with someone who believed that you (not some ‘other’ group like muslims) should be rounded up and put in camps for their safety? Or who wanted to revoke your ability to get married? It’s really easy to frame things as ‘disagreement’ when they don’t affect you personally, but it’s intellectually dishonest. > [@](#): > > If you go through life assuming that the only reason someone could have a different opinion on something is that they’re either stupid or evil, then you get what we have now. Again, no one has said anything remotely like that, but so many people on the internet don’t seem to understand really basic English usage like the difference between all, some, and none. There are plenty of topics where someone can have a different opinion without being stupid or evil, but not all topics are ‘just a different opinion’. Would you really want to hang out with someone who was pro-slavery? (That’s not a hypothetical or exaggeration BTW, I have encountered that more than once.) ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/122 "2016-10-01T15:57:19Z")
**Pantastic** , I don’t always agree with you on things, but I’m 100% with you on this. Not all politics are the same, folks. There’s “I believe in small government, tax policies that favor the rich and middle class, and a strong military” kind of politics. And then there’s “I’m willing to waive basic civil rights for millions of innocent people–none of whom look like me or have last names like mine, so I don’t have anything to worry about–in the name of national and local security.” I’m not willing to be friends with someone who will gladly push me into the violent clutches of the police just because I have brown skin and look like a terrorist and/or criminal, all so they can continue with their delusional way of life. Someone who is a Republican isn’t necessarily for this. But a Trump supporter is, expressly or tacitly. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/123 "2016-10-01T19:19:02Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **Pantastic** , I don’t always agree with you on things, but I’m 100% with you on this. > > Not all politics are the same, folks. There’s “I believe in small government, tax policies that favor the rich and middle class, and a strong military” kind of politics. And then there’s “I’m willing to waive basic civil rights for millions of innocent people–none of whom look like me or have last names like mine, so I don’t have anything to worry about–in the name of national and local security.” > > I’m not willing to be friends with someone who will gladly push me into the violent clutches of the police just because I have brown skin and look like a terrorist and/or criminal, all so they can continue with their delusional way of life. Someone who is a Republican isn’t necessarily for this. But a Trump supporter is, expressly or tacitly. You can vote for trump, and not need to be stupid or evil. You can be against hillary, and not be stupid or evil. But to actively and vocally support Trump? You either don’t know what he stands for, or you agree with what he stands for. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/124 "2016-10-01T19:31:06Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > Except that literally no one in this thread has made that statement, and in fact the people who point out that they don’t want to be friends with a trump supporter have consistently said the complete opposite. Would you seriously be friends with someone who believed that you (not some ‘other’ group like muslims) should be rounded up and put in camps for their safety? Or who wanted to revoke your ability to get married? It’s really easy to frame things as ‘disagreement’ when they don’t affect you personally, but it’s intellectually dishonest. > > Again, no one has said anything remotely like that, but so many people on the internet don’t seem to understand really basic English usage like the difference between all, some, and none. There are plenty of topics where someone can have a different opinion without being stupid or evil, but not all topics are ‘just a different opinion’. Would you really want to hang out with someone who was pro-slavery? (That’s not a hypothetical or exaggeration BTW, I have encountered that more than once.) Why not? I have friends who believe in destructive economic and tax policy. Policy that would cost my family over a hundred thousand a year. They believe economics is a 0 sum game and the poor and unproductive are being robbed of their rightful wealth. How someone sitting in a double wide, neglecting their babies and smoking meth has “rightful wealth” is a mystery to me but I digress. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/125 "2016-10-01T21:08:11Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > Except that literally no one in this thread has made that statement . . . Ninjaed by **Drunky Smurf** , but I can’t tell if he was being ironic or really meant it. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/126 "2016-10-02T17:56:04Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > This thread is a perfect demonstration of why this country’s political atmosphere is such a toxic shitshow. “I can’t be friends with someone who disagrees with me.” > > If you go through life assuming that the only reason someone could have a different opinion on something is that they’re either stupid or evil, then you get what we have now. I have plenty of friends with whom I disagree, thank you very much. But Trump is in a class all by himself. I have greater respect for child molesters than I do for Donald J Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/127 "2016-10-03T00:48:19Z")
> [@TwiSpark](#): > > I’m in the UK but we’re not stranger to Trump and people here (often the alt right) still admire him from afar. > > I’ve learned to greatly adjust my tolerance over recent years. Not so long ago, I probably would’ve questioned friendships if someone was in support of the Conservative Party (maybe), or definitely UKIP or Brexit. Had I continued with that intolerance I’d have “unfriended” a lot of people and hated more than half the country! > > By necessity and a lot of self reflection I’ve become a lot more tolerant of the political views of people in general but especially my friends, one of whom is outwardly xenophobic (refuses to go on holiday with the others because ‘other countries are full of foreigners’!) along with being both a Conservative and Brexit voter but as conflicting as it seems, a genuine decent guy in every other way. I actually put it down to him having a generally rebellious and contrarian nature rather than being actively hateful. > > It’s definitely troubling when you get to say “my friends are good people apart from the way I hate everything about their political views and worry that they might be a bit racist”! but I don’t like to give up on people easily. I’d rather just not talk about politics with them if possible as I’m not the world’s greatest at debate (that’s something I’d like to learn from this forum, without disturbing it in the process) Brexit is a tempest in a teapot compared to the shitstorm that President Trump would be. For the entire world. Unfortunately, there are enough stupid or contrarian or flat-out bigoted people in my country across the pond that that’s a very real possibility. And it scares the shit out of me, as it should you. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/128 "2016-10-03T05:38:32Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have plenty of friends with whom I disagree, thank you very much. But Trump is in a class all by himself. I have greater respect for child molesters than I do for Donald J Trump. I hate Trump was much as the next guy, but I also have known child molesters. While I like hyperbole, he is a different kind of scumbag. ---
**Author:** ![TwiSpark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TwiSpark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwiSpark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/129 "2016-10-03T09:24:03Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ace](#): > > Brexit is a tempest in a teapot compared to the shitstorm that President Trump would be. For the entire world. Unfortunately, there are enough stupid or contrarian or flat-out bigoted people in my country across the pond that that’s a very real possibility. And it scares the shit out of me, as it should you. Well, of course. Here’s a fun one to scroll through on some of his views on foreign policy: [Donald Trump on Foreign Policy](http://www.ontheissues.org/2016/Donald_Trump_Foreign_Policy.htm) This guy rising to power seems pretty terrifying to me. I honestly don’t know if it’s overly alarmist to think he’d push us a lot further towards WW3. Though I do think Brexit is pretty dangerous as well, albeit mostly economically. The best hope the world actually has there is if we completely screw ourselves over, setting an example to other EU members so as not to destabilise the EU completely and have knock-on global economic effects. I’m not sure that ending friendships, as was the topic of the thread, is really the way to handle the problem of Trump’s popularity though - again, it just widens divisions and continues to ignore the rather uncomfortable-to-talk-about concerns people have (immigration, for example) which will keep pushing them further towards the extremes. I really don’t think this view we keep seeing of “I think you’re a racist bigot and don’t want to talk with you ever again” and the unwillingness we’re seeing from both sides (let’s say right and left for simplicity) to talk a little more calmly and come to compromises is constructive at all. For the most part, people are not monsters - they’re often like this because they’ve been convinced that everyone _else_ are monsters, after all. Yet that’s what we’re often seeing, even this idea that our friends are turning into them. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/130 "2016-10-03T09:51:11Z")
Being friends with one? Try having one for a mother. Not easy, let me tell you. I would not break up with a friend just because they supported Trump, however. It’s a very small thing, in the long run (IMO). ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/131 "2016-10-03T10:01:30Z")
If a friend here in Australia (we tend to be more reticent about our political affiliations) told me they upheld the tenets that Trump adhered to, they wouldn’t be on my Christmas card list this year… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/132 "2016-10-03T11:16:39Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > It’s true that he’s not just some Republican, but not everyone is up on politics or the news in general. I’m sure there are other people like monstro’s friend who prefer watching reality TV and doing crossword puzzles. They know who the candidates are, and might know a few things that have been going on in the election and some of the stuff said but not everything that has been going on. > > I’m sure the die-hard supporters know everything he’s said and are okay with his bigotry and awfulness and like it about him. But I’d bet that also a significant number aren’t really aware because they haven’t kept up with things, or are vaguely aware but are uncomfortable about it and just try not to think about such things. Or they think some of his ideas sound somewhat good but don’t think about the implications. > > I generally try to think the best of my friends, so if I found out one of them was a Trump supporter, I wouldn’t automatically jump to the conclusion that they are actually a terrible person and I hadn’t realized it. My argument is after you’ve talked to them, and let them know what he believes. As your friends, I assume they would not think you were lying to them or stupid and believing lies. I’m talking people who are still okay with Trump after you let them know what he really stands for. Not people who say “Okay, I don’t support Trump, but I still have to vote Republican due to the Supreme Court stuff.” I mean people who actually still support him. I think, at that point, your friend is actually telling you that they support the stuff Trump says. But, hey, I’ll admit I’ve not had to deal with this. Pretty much all my actual friends think Trump is horrible. The worst I have are people saying they’re both horrible. Most of the people I might call “casual friends,” we’re not close enough to discuss politics. And I keep my Facebook politics free, so I wouldn’t know if they say it on there. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/133 "2016-10-03T14:37:45Z")
> [@TwiSpark](#): > > I’m not sure that ending friendships, as was the topic of the thread, is really the way to handle the problem of Trump’s popularity though - I don’t have enough time or energy to keep up with all of the people that I WANT to be friends with. So why should I take time away from people that I actually like and that aren’t actively trying to destroy the lives of people that I like to maintain ‘friendships’ with people who are actively dangerous to me and my friends? > [@](#): > > I really don’t think this view we keep seeing of “I think you’re a racist bigot and don’t want to talk with you ever again” and the unwillingness we’re seeing from both sides (let’s say right and left for simplicity) to talk a little more calmly and come to compromises is constructive at all. Why do you think it’s unconstructive for people to avoid spending their personal time, energy, and money with racist bigots and those who cheerfully support bigots and their agenda? You seem to think that racist bigots are entitled to my personal time and energy for some reason, but they’re simply not. And there isn’t any room for compromise on issues like ‘should trans people be treated as people,’ ‘should we lock Muslims in camps’, ‘should gay people get equal rights’, any more than there should be compromise on issues like ‘should interracial marriage be allowed’, ‘should there be whites-only lunch counters’, and so on, so there’s no way to reach an effective compromise position. ---
**Author:** ![TwiSpark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TwiSpark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwiSpark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/134 "2016-10-03T15:26:07Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > I don’t have enough time or energy to keep up with all of the people that I WANT to be friends with. So why should I take time away from people that I actually like and that aren’t actively trying to destroy the lives of people that I like to maintain ‘friendships’ with people who are actively dangerous to me and my friends? > > Why do you think it’s unconstructive for people to avoid spending their personal time, energy, and money with racist bigots and those who cheerfully support bigots and their agenda? You seem to think that racist bigots are entitled to my personal time and energy for some reason, but they’re simply not. > > And there isn’t any room for compromise on issues like ‘should trans people be treated as people,’ ‘should we lock Muslims in camps’, ‘should gay people get equal rights’, any more than there should be compromise on issues like ‘should interracial marriage be allowed’, ‘should there be whites-only lunch counters’, and so on, so there’s no way to reach an effective compromise position. I’m not making any suggestion for how \*you \*should choose your friends or that they’re entitled to anyone’s time - merely stating my own philosophy on retaining those who I don’t entirely agree with. The examples you give are frighteningly extreme though - I don’t know anyone that bad and can’t see myself befriending someone that awful in the first place. I was thinking more along the lines of people who just somehow have managed to have been convinced that Trump is a good idea, and that locking Muslims in camps, removing gay rights, removing interracial marriage etc aren’t something that he’d actually do (to be fair, that may indeed be a bit of a leap). If I’m friends with someone it means I see the good in them, and in that case they’re probably just… not very intelligent. If ever I gain decent debating skills from haunting this forum, maybe I’ll be able to change a few minds. Not that I can currently think of any friends who _are_ Trump supporters, but I suspect one would be because he just likes to be edgy, much like when he was Brexiteering. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/135 "2016-10-03T16:02:41Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > This summer I attended a brew fest in Wyoming. Live music and over 30 different brewers. I went to the food court, got a taco, and sat down with 4 other people at a picnic table. I was shocked. All four of them were Trump supporters, bashing Hillary. One of them said she had killed many veterans. Well, being a Doper, I asked for a “cite”. They may be still looking up that word. Welcome to Wyoming… ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/136 "2016-10-03T22:42:53Z")
> [@TwiSpark](#): > > I’m not making any suggestion for how \*you \*should choose your friends or that they’re entitled to anyone’s time - merely stating my own philosophy on retaining those who I don’t entirely agree with. The examples you give are frighteningly extreme though - I don’t know anyone that bad and can’t see myself befriending someone that awful in the first place. The bizarre thing about this thread is that, on one hand, people say ‘gosh, you guys are so narrow-minded for not being friends with a Trump supporter’. Then when you bring up major Trump campaign points, people say 'oh, that’s frighteningly extreme, I wasn’t talking about something that bad." ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/137 "2016-10-03T23:16:55Z")
Am I the only one who is disturbed by the notion that having any standards about who you call a friend is inherently “close-minded”? I wouldn’t expect someone who is deeply religious to befriend me. I can be quite irreverent. I’m given to cursing. Sometimes I laugh at dirty jokes. I hate superstitious/magical thinking. I don’t appreciate people saying stuff like “I’ll pray for you”. I will never agree to going to someone’s church. I’m not overtly hostile or mean towards religious people, but I wouldn’t expect a deeply religious person to want to be around me. Because I’m likely to say something that would rub them the wrong way. Why hang out with people who are going to rub you the wrong way? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/138 "2016-10-03T23:29:04Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Am I the only one who is disturbed by the notion that having any standards about who you call a friend is inherently “close-minded”? > > I wouldn’t expect someone who is deeply religious to befriend me. I can be quite irreverent. I’m given to cursing. Sometimes I laugh at dirty jokes. I hate superstitious/magical thinking. I don’t appreciate people saying stuff like “I’ll pray for you”. I will never agree to going to someone’s church. I’m not overtly hostile or mean towards religious people, but I wouldn’t expect a deeply religious person to want to be around me. Because I’m likely to say something that would rub them the wrong way. Why hang out with people who are going to rub you the wrong way? Because it’s good for your soul. It’s unhealthy, imho, to live in an ideological bubble. Real life isn’t a college “safe space.” It helps to challenge and have challenged world views. That’s how you grow as a person. What’s unhealthy is trying to coerce forcefully changes of opinion. This is basically the very topic that got me posting on this board to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/139 "2016-10-03T23:37:22Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Because it’s good for your soul. It’s unhealthy, imho, to live in an ideological bubble. Real life isn’t a college “safe space.” It helps to challenge and have challenged world views. That’s how you grow as a person. What’s unhealthy is trying to coerce forcefully changes of opinion. This is basically the very topic that got me posting on this board to begin with. I could be friends with a Romney supporter, or even a McCain supporter. I could be (and am) friends with a Mormon, despite my quite extreme negative views on all religions. I could be friends with all sorts of people with whom I disagree on a wide variety of topics. I could not, however, be friends with someone who wanted to destroy the country I love. I can talk to a Trump voter and even be polite to one. I could be coworkers with Trump voters. I could not be friends with one, any more than I could be friends with a Klan member, or a person who refused to issue marriage licenses to a gay couple. We all have to draw the line somewhere I draw it at supporting Trump. The man is utterly unqualified to be President, and anyone who doesn’t see that or doesn’t care is not someone I wish to be friends with. ---
**Author:** ![TwiSpark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TwiSpark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwiSpark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693/140 "2016-10-03T23:37:41Z")
You know, I just searched the thread for the word “minded”. The only results apart from “conspiracy-minded” and “reminded”, were people defending themselves against a nonexistent claim that they’re closed or narrow minded. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-friends-with-a-trump-supporter/766693.md?page=8)