# Being in love.. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 12, 2002, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412 "2002-11-12T08:51:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![K\_rul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e5b9ba/32.png) [@K\_rul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K_rul)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/21 "2002-11-16T07:54:52Z")
Hey jude… ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/22 "2002-11-16T08:56:10Z")
“Everything dies, baby; That’s a fact…” (OK, I’m an old cynic, but, while it lasts, it justifies putting up with all the crap life throws at you - the trick is to make it last) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/23 "2002-11-16T16:27:13Z")
When I find myself in love, I run the other direction. ---
**Author:** ![Thomas\_Stearns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Thomas\_Stearns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thomas_Stearns)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/24 "2002-11-16T18:30:27Z")
This is pretty much how I feel. Still can’t figgure out who authored i though: “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens you heart and it means someone can get inside and mess you up. You build up these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years,so nothing can hurt you, then one stipid person, no diffrent from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t yours anymore. Love takes hostage. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “maybe we should just be friends”, or “how very perceptive”, turn into a glass splinter working it’s way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-hurt. I hate love.” ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/25 "2002-11-16T20:29:43Z")
I’m in love with someone who lives 250 miles away from me. We’re making it on seeing each other once or twice a month. It’s hard when we’re both stressed, but it’s worth it. When we argue, I feel like someone’s ripped my heart out of my chest and I’m about to vomit up my other vital organs, but we make up. We always make up. ---
**Author:** ![Sakura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Sakura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakura)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/26 "2002-11-17T01:18:08Z")
This is an absolutely beautifuldepressingupliftingwhistful thread. Thank you for starting it, \*\* Obsidian Flutterby \*\*. I’m not in love yet. Actually, I’ve never been in love. But I want to be. That’s a lonely place. Probably the worst place to be. However, I’m young yet and I guess it’s just a matter of waiting. For now, I’ll have to be satisfied with this thread, songs and old MGM musicals. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/27 "2002-11-17T03:12:24Z")
Thanks Sakura… I kinda started it though to try to decide if what me feelings are about this guy really could be love. And when I think on it on my own, and compare it to other people’s experiences, well love is the most adequate and inadequate word of all. Thanks people… continue to share if you wish but it has helped me a little. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/28 "2002-11-17T15:30:17Z")
But people don’t define it the same Obsidian Flutterby. There have been a few subjects on this before & every has their own definition. Even my own definition doesn’t include anything that has to do with the heart or sex- if that’s what you are discussing. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/29 "2002-11-17T17:24:59Z")
I wasn’t trying to define love… I was trying to straighten out how I felt and was curious about how others felt when they knew it was love. Of course everyone sees love differently, it is a most personal experience and no two people feel it the same. I was deciding on my own time how I was feeling, the thread came about because I was curious about other experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412/30 "2002-11-18T00:03:30Z")
Falling in love and being in love are two different things. Falling in love is exciting and silly, being in love is comfortable, safe, stable, warm, not-alone. I’ve cared for, even loved a number of men, but I’ve only been what I call IN love once, and I still am with him. The defining difference between this relationship and all the others is that this was the only one I couldn’t bear to imagine ending. I always knew with the others that there would have to be an end, in a year or two or three, but this one…thinking like that just sucked the air out of my chest and left me gasping. Especially since he’s 15 years younger than me and that made it extra sopper double-scoop scary. But we’re in our 8th year and better than ever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-love/136412.md?page=1)