# Being in your 20s sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378 "2005-06-07T23:51:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/41 "2005-06-09T00:03:07Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > It’s not the bar-hopping, man-conquering, responsibility-free land that I was promised. It’s also the land of zero budget and crappy jobs - things that seem to resolve themselves by the thirties. This is purgatory, and we (my roomie is here too) are tired of it. Don’t know who was making you those promises, but my twenties weren’t bar-hoppin’ man-conquerin’ responsibility-free years. Good news is things do get better in your thirties. > [@Incubus](#): > > Well, the hardest part for me is learning a lot of harsh lessons about starting a career and having it take off. Nothing is ever simple or straightforward, and the more you expect it to be, the more discouraged you will become when things don’t go the way you thought they would. My life now is nothing like what I thought it would be ten years ago; and that’s probably a good thing. And maybe things for me got better in my thirties because I got a longer term perspective on my life. You can see more of your life stretching out behind you and, consequently, more of it stretching out in front of you. **Incubus** , I’ve been following some of your tribulations; hang in there. It will get better, although it may take some time for you to find your feet. You will, though. **Happy Scrappy Hero Pup** , I think before **TwoOnSunday** posts a sugar-daddy-fishing picture for your delectation, you ought to ante up with your sugar-daddy credentials. I’m just saying. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/42 "2005-06-09T01:43:34Z")
No way,\*\* Campion.\*\* I need the picture to decide just how much of my assets I must hide and how I’m going to represent myself and the life I choose to offer her. Sound superficial? Well, sugar-daddyism ain’t exactly about wuv… twoo wuv, you know? Because a sugar-daddy’s compainion, in case you’ve forgotten, is a trophy wife. So I gotta check out my trophy. If this is bidness, I gotta protect myself. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/43 "2005-06-09T11:50:10Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > It’s not the bar-hopping, man-conquering, responsibility-free land that I was promised. Sitcoms are not documentaries, honey. ---
**Author:** ![TwoOnSunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@TwoOnSunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoOnSunday)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/44 "2005-06-09T14:48:34Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > **Happy Scrappy Hero Pup** , I think before **TwoOnSunday** posts a sugar-daddy-fishing picture for your delectation, you ought to ante up with your sugar-daddy credentials. I’m just saying. 😉 Seconded! ---
**Author:** ![TwoOnSunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@TwoOnSunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoOnSunday)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/45 "2005-06-09T14:55:30Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Sitcoms are not documentaries, honey. I don’t even watch TV. I am looking at those around me. Last night, returning from volleyball, I passed about 6 bars full of young, contented-looking people out enjoying themselves on a Wednesday night. Their laughs were almost deafening. Suddenly, I figured out what my problem was - there isn’t enough alcohol in my life. Please realize, I’m just kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/46 "2005-06-09T16:38:40Z")
You’re kidding, we get that, but you’re also telling us some truths here that maybe you need to look at. What do you feel your life is missing, and why are you missing it? Are these things that you can do something about, or are they things that you will just have to wait for? One of the great truths of life is you can’t get what you want unless you know what you want. Do you know what you want? ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/47 "2005-06-09T21:15:26Z")
Why, you little zygote… No, no, that’s not very constructive, is it? All ages have their good and bad points. I remember my 20s as insecure and consumed with resolving the traumatic issues of childhood. Also, nobody thought I was as smart or gave me as much respect as I thought proper. And I did not have many people around to support me in very rough going, but also did not have many whose own rough going needed me for their support. I also remember having good health pretty much without regard to how much time and energy I devoted to it. All these things continue to change, and many more besides. I propose a seasons of the year metaphore, wherein summer and winter and all have their charms, and their miseries - and you get all of them in turn, and may enjoy them more or less according to how nice a coat you have and whether you ever learn to ski. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/48 "2005-06-09T21:21:36Z")
I’ve also been pretty disappointed in my twenties so far. Just a year ago I was a college student without a care in the world. Classes were easy, parties were plentiful, it all seemed like it would never end. Now I have a career and a car payment – way more responsibility than I care for. I have money but no social life. I wanted _both_, dammit! I feel like I skipped my twenties for my thirties. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/49 "2005-06-09T21:31:08Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > Last night, returning from volleyball, I passed about 6 bars \ Suddenly, I figured out what my problem was - there isn’t enough alcohol in my life. See, Dr.Duke can see your problem right off. Forget about that volleyball shit! All hot and sweaty excercise! What makes you hot and sweaty (besides sex)?? WORK! Where bars are relaxing and soothing. Just think of the happy, content people you saw there. Were they hot and sweaty (the one’s not having sex, I mean)?? No! I’d charge you my regular fee of $100, but I realize you’ll need this money to go to bars. But wait! You’re a single, 20-something student! You can get all the drinks you want for free!! Guys stumble over each other to buy drinks for girls in bars! Hot, sweaty sex is optional. That’ll be another $100. Just tell **Happy Scrappy** to share the picture and we’ll call it even. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TwoOnSunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@TwoOnSunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoOnSunday)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/50 "2005-06-10T00:48:52Z")
**featherlou** The problem is I want it all. I want to drop everything here, run to Spain, work at a resort, meet some new people, and get a great tan. Then I want to return and magically be able to start my practice and “build my future”. So, for now, it’s practicality and boredom. That’s what I pick. Spain better be there when I’m older! **Duke of Rat** - 😉 If I don’t go to the gym and play, no one will want to buy me drinks. Although I could trade in that workout for hot sweaty sex… OK, **Two** you are going out tomorrow night. End.of.story. **micahyn** you too! ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/51 "2005-06-10T00:52:36Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > **Duke of Rat** Although I could trade in that workout for hot sweaty sex… OK, I’ll waive my $100 fee just this once more, so you can skip your workout and go to the bar. It’s the least I can do. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/52 "2005-06-10T16:27:14Z")
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, but don’t forget that life is supposed to be fun, too, and not just at some magical point in the future when you’ve got everything just the way you want it. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ll start living your life when… On the other hand, some things _do_ have to be taken care of so you can have fun. The rent and bills have to be paid, and that obligation never ends. Getting education so you can pay your bills in a style you like is a great investment for your future. Of course, the purpose of a job is to allow you to make money so you can live your life. Don’t forget that part. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/53 "2005-06-10T22:29:54Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > **featherlou** The problem is I want it all. I want to drop everything here, run to Spain, work at a resort, meet some new people, and get a great tan. Let me give you one piece of advice about being in your 20s - sunscreen every day, and fake tan if you think you need it. Otherwise in your 30s you’ll look like you’re in your 40s. ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378/54 "2005-06-11T03:39:10Z")
> [@TwoOnSunday](#): > > Things were actually quite good for me for a while, then I went home and my dad started on the MD thing. My roommate is in a similar place where her parents can’t be happy that she is going to law school beacause it’s not the one they wanted her to attend. This post really stood out to me. At some point in your 20s you have to realise that any professional or other goals you are working for, or have worked for, are for **your benefit alone and will be put to use by you, within your own life, alone.** You have to stand on you own two feet when it comes to parental pressure. At some point between 16 and never, a person comes to the conclusion that they themselves are in a better position now to make decisions about their own future than their Mum or Dad is. I’m 24, btw, and I reached that conclusion about 2 years ago when I realised that my rather protective, busybody parents knew far less than I did about the profession that I was training for and about to enter. At that point I proceeded to nod and smile politely to them, and then go off and make my own life decisions. I find that this is the best policy when dealing with otherwise reasonable parents. Don’t be cowed by them, but don’t deliberately stir things up, either. Life is too short. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-in-your-20s-sucks/307378.md?page=2)