# Being invited to a party: perk or chore? (Poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424 "2007-02-08T22:55:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/21 "2007-02-09T11:09:37Z")
So far, many posters have said: “Perk or chore? Depends on how many people I know at these parties.” Well, at the typical party I’m talking about, you know only the host well. Three or maybe four persons you know vaguely, from having seen them last year at a previous parties from the same host, or you know them from work of something social you and the host have in common. So I’m not talking about the informal gathering of friends, but of parties where you typically will know one or two persons well and maybe four people vaguely. Does that change anything? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/22 "2007-02-09T11:11:39Z")
I had heard about the USA tradition of giving parties for profit, Tupperware-style. Sales-opportunities combined with/dressed up as social gatherings. But I had no idea they were that common. You Americans are weird. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/23 "2007-02-09T11:54:17Z")
I hate going to parties. I feel kind of claustrophobic around crowds of strangers in a confined location, especially when accompanied by loud music, alcohol, or cigarette smoke. I refuse to go to any party, so people don’t bother inviting me anymore, which is fine by me. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/24 "2007-02-09T13:56:32Z")
If it’s a party I’m invited to, it’s usually because I’m expected to be the entertainment. Sometimes it’s a pain, I just wanna eat, but I’m a big sparkplug for inappropriate (and sometimes appropriate) discussion around the dinner table. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/25 "2007-02-09T14:37:41Z")
Yes, I like those kinds of parties. I always think it’s funny that I see some of those guest one time of year only. . .at that party. People I know have a parade party, a tax-return party, a groundhog’s day party, new year’s parties (those are usually more intimate), some sort of holiday party, alley parties, etc. I meet new people, and see neighbors and former neighbors that I don’t get to see too often. I like chit chatting about bullshit, eating different food, cracking jokes, and standing around drinking beer. I consider them a PERK, but that doesn’t mean I would want one every weekend. Their rarity is part of the appeal. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/26 "2007-02-09T15:47:43Z")
Yay, new people to talk to! And beer. How is that a chore? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/27 "2007-02-09T16:05:55Z")
I love parties! I bring the fun, baby! And I’m not really joking; I bring “up” energy to a party because I _like_ eating food I wouldn’t normally eat and meeting new people and getting dressed up. So I’m a really good party guest – the person who will help the hostess set out appetizers, or talk to that boring guy nobody else wants to talk to. Eating, drinking, chatting up old friends or meeting new people – what’s not to like? Granted, some parties will turn out to be crashing bores, but even then I just mostly feel sorry for the hosts, who surely know it’s not going well. Frankly, I don’t really understand the POV that “omigod, I have to move out of my comfort zone, poor me.” But I know lots of people are much more “nesters” than I am. That said, I like _real_ parties. I don’t particularly care for work-related parties; “obligatory fun” is an oxymoron. And I really don’t like commerce-related parties, where some dubious amount of “fun” is really a cover to try to sell you shit. And I don’t like “let’s all just get drunk or high together and call it a party” parties either; I did those when I was, oh, 18 to 22, but don’t find them fun anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/28 "2007-02-09T17:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, at the typical party I’m talking about, you know only the host well. Three or maybe four persons you know vaguely, from having seen them last year at a previous parties from the same host, or you know them from work of something social you and the host have in common. I’ll be at home, hiding in a corner, under a book. Meeting large numbers of new people and being expected to behave like an adult and chitchat? Ugh. Now, out clubbing I can handle. There’s always dancing, no matter how much the music sucks. Or informal parties where I know most of the people? Fine. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/29 "2007-02-09T17:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] Me, I like being _invited_ to such parties, but I don’t actually like _going_ there. Being invited is an honor, but actually having to go is a chore. I’d much rather have a quiet evening at home with my fiancé. [/QUOTE] That’s me. I hate having to make small-talk. I hate having to listen to it. I hate being stuck in a room for two hours with people I don’t particularly like. I hate going on the “house tour” that many hosts feel compelled to give and I hate having to compliment people on their decorating taste when I’m not actually all that impressed. I hate eating the heavy, bland “party food” that people always bring to potlucks. I hate having to pretend to be mightily impressed by a guest’s kid’s football stats. I hate that I generally have nothing in common with these people which might actually lead to an interesting conversation. I hate the whole thing. It is a chore to attend one of these things. I’d rather go to the dentist than to a party. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/30 "2007-02-09T17:49:07Z")
Love 'em, kinda like Dopefests but with the in-jokes. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/31 "2007-02-09T19:14:10Z")
[QUOTE=TV time] You are forced to eat food that you would never eat, visit with people you would not hang out with normally and often do things you have no interest in doing in real life. [/QUOTE] Oh, heck, that’s the FUN part of going to parties! I love meeting new people, trying new foods and getting a change from the rut I find myself in so often! And I’m a serious introvert who normally has to be blasted out of my rut by someone dragging me off to a party (usually my husband, who is much more of an extrovert than I am.) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/32 "2007-02-09T19:20:24Z")
I’ve never been invited to one, so I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/33 "2007-02-09T20:55:08Z")
I love the parties that my partner likes to organize, or similar ones thrown by some of our friends. These parties tend to involve about the same pool of 20 people (with maybe a couple of new people now and then to spice things up), so we all have hung out before and know each other reasonably well – and we know we get along OK. Also, we usually have activities (i.e. sports events, games, etc.) as part of the party, so that those who don’t care for small talk have something to be engaged in. I was never much of a party person before I met my partner, but I have a great time at these sorts of events! As a matter of fact, we are buying a new house this month – and one of the motivations is to have a bigger party space! (Well, that, and more than one bathroom…) ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/34 "2007-02-09T21:31:53Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] Nowadays, we have dating sites to meet people for romance; [/QUOTE] To each his own, I guess, but I would much rather have the thrill, if you will, of meeting and getting to know someone that I meet at a party, rather than some cold, impersonal dating site. So, yes, I do like being invited to parties, and I do like going to them, although I will say that I like them to be a bit rowdier than the type your OP suggests, which seems a bit too calm for my tastes. And free food and drinks? Can’t beat 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/35 "2007-02-09T22:09:54Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I had heard about the USA tradition of giving parties for profit, Tupperware-style. Sales-opportunities combined with/dressed up as social gatherings. But I had no idea they were that common. You Americans are weird. Well, I wouldn’t mind getting invited to a party in the Netherlands! BTW, have you heard of “passion parties”? There are a number of companies springing up (heh) who throw Tupperware parties with no Tupperware, only sex toys. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/36 "2007-02-09T23:00:58Z")
The rowdy kind of party can be great fun although it has been a few years since I’ve been to one. To me those are the kind with no food only a keg or two, and a few bottles of booze for variety. Lately, I’ve taken a mild dislike to parties because it is usually the same small talk, and not enough booze to make it interesting. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/37 "2007-02-09T23:14:55Z")
It depends largely on who’s there. As long as I have at least one person I feel comfortable with, I don’t mind, although I prefer small gatherings of maybe 5-10 people I know well enough to get drunk with and generally make fools out of ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/38 "2007-02-09T23:15:40Z")
We throw this sort of party often. I’d really like it if someone else hosted. Of course, I’d probably still end up in the kitchen helping out. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/39 "2007-02-10T00:46:54Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] I had heard about the USA tradition of giving parties for profit, Tupperware-style. Sales-opportunities combined with/dressed up as social gatherings. But I had no idea they were that common. You Americans are weird. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I once attended a baby shower held at the home of the parents of the Mother To Be. After the cake, but before we opened the gifts, the father of the MTB brought out an easel and did a sales pitch for Amway. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424/40 "2007-02-10T04:13:32Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] We throw this sort of party often. I’d really like it if someone else hosted. Of course, I’d probably still end up in the kitchen helping out. [/QUOTE] I can personally attest to the fact that **GingerOfTheNorth** throws great DopeFests. Great food and wonderful company. Let me see where I am at Christmastime, and maybe I’ll host it. You have to help with food, though. Butter tarts and chocolates. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/being-invited-to-a-party-perk-or-chore-poll/391424.md?page=3)