# Ben Stein's "Words That Sound Dirty, But Aren't" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632 "2009-09-18T19:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/1 "2009-09-18T19:29:20Z")
Anybody remember, and can point me to, a Ben Stein routine I saw him to once on TV? It was (something to the effect of) “Words that sound dirty, but really aren’t and you can say them on TV”. I believe two of them were “frigate” and “monocoque”. Thanks!! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/2 "2009-09-18T21:20:36Z")
I don’t remember that, but I _do_ remember a David Letterman Top Ten list of phrases that sound dirty but aren’t. One of them may have been “Shaking hands with President Lincoln.” I’ll try to dig that up. ETA: That list is on this page: [http://artofhacking.com/IET/HUMOUR2/live/aoh\_topten1.htm](http://artofhacking.com/IET/HUMOUR2/live/aoh_topten1.htm) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/3 "2009-09-18T21:35:57Z")
Shelley Berman had a routine (and a published book) about this in the 1950s and 1960s > **[Shelley Berman's Cleans & Dirtys: Berman, Shelley: Amazon.com: Books](https://www.amazon.com/Shelley-Bermans-Cleans-Dirtys-Berman/dp/B0007DZ5FK)** > > Shelley Berman's Cleans & Dirtys \[Berman, Shelley\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Shelley Berman's Cleans & Dirtys ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/4 "2009-09-18T21:47:14Z")
Titicaca has to be on such a list. It just has to. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/5 "2009-09-18T21:56:51Z")
And cumquat. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/6 "2009-09-19T00:00:10Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I don’t remember that, but I _do_ remember a David Letterman Top Ten list of phrases that sound dirty but aren’t. One of them may have been “Shaking hands with President Lincoln.” I’ll try to dig that up. > ETA: That list is on this page: [http://artofhacking.com/IET/HUMOUR2/live/aoh\_topten1.htm](http://artofhacking.com/IET/HUMOUR2/live/aoh_topten1.htm) They clearly missed the worst of the lot, “eject the floppy.” ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/7 "2009-09-19T01:31:15Z")
Maybe a category in “Win Ben Stein’s Money”? StG ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/8 "2009-09-19T17:08:40Z")
Are you thinking of Ben _Stiller_? This doesn’t sound like a Ben Stein topic. And I’ll nominate “spunk” for the list. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/9 "2009-09-19T17:56:36Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > And I’ll nominate “spunk” for the list. But that \*does \*have a secondary use as a dirty word. Pussy may refer to a cat, but you won’t find that word on a list like this. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/10 "2009-09-19T20:39:45Z")
Good point. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/11 "2009-09-19T21:05:20Z")
Krusty: Kent, the young people today, they think comedy is dirty words. It’s not – it’s words that _sound_ dirty, like “mukluk.” [Kent and Krusty share a laugh] Mukluk. You like that? No charge. Mukluk. [laughs] Mukluk … -2003 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/12 "2009-09-19T21:26:48Z")
My favorite one from the Letterman list was “Skydiving over Mount Baldy.” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/13 "2009-09-19T22:05:54Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > But that \*does \*have a secondary use as a dirty word. Pussy may refer to a cat, but you won’t find that word on a list like this. Nor will you find [dick](http://samuelatgilgal.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/dick_cheney_3x4.jpg), [knockers](http://www.annapolisbrasscompany.com/assets/images/KnockerMontage.jpg), or [cornhole](http://www.sixthman.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/cornhole.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/14 "2009-09-20T00:49:44Z")
There was a beer that used to claim it was fully kreuzened. That always sounded sexual to me. “Hey baby, would you like to be fully kreuzened?” ---
**Author:** ![LVBoPeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/858c86/32.png) [@LVBoPeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVBoPeep)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/15 "2009-09-20T01:37:14Z")
I was a 4-Her in high school and we had a national level horse quiz bowl team (I know, NERD!!). So during the “tryouts” for the team, my leader asked me “What is Mastication?” She had a great sense of humor, so when I didn’t know, she said “It’s something your mother told you never to do”. Of course it means nothing of the sort, but I still get a good laugh out of that. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/16 "2009-09-20T02:06:35Z")
> [@Smokinjbc](#): > > I was a 4-Her in high school and we had a national level horse quiz bowl team (I know, NERD!!). So during the “tryouts” for the team, my leader asked me “What is Mastication?” She had a great sense of humor, so when I didn’t know, she said “It’s something your mother told you never to do”. > > Of course it means nothing of the sort, but I still get a good laugh out of that. Yeah, my mom told me _always_ to do it. “You’ll choke taking those big bites!” ---
**Author:** ![Polly\_Glot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Polly\_Glot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polly_Glot)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/17 "2009-09-20T02:07:23Z")
My kids get a good laugh when I inform them that my _coccyx_ really hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/18 "2009-09-20T03:28:26Z")
How about uvula? ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/19 "2009-09-20T05:38:08Z")
> [@Smokinjbc](#): > > I was a 4-Her in high school and we had a national level horse quiz bowl team (I know, NERD!!). So during the “tryouts” for the team, my leader asked me “What is Mastication?” She had a great sense of humor, so when I didn’t know, she said “It’s something your mother told you never to do”. > > Of course it means nothing of the sort, but I still get a good laugh out of that. Your epidermis is showing. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632/20 "2009-09-20T09:03:30Z")
There was a Chiclets commercial a while back with a few of these. Ah, here we are. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/RpyX_Oi8_MA/hqdefault.jpg "5 Words That Sound Dirty, But Aren't") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpyX_Oi8_MA) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ben-steins-words-that-sound-dirty-but-arent/510632.md?page=2)